Hooray for New Math

When does 1600 = 76 ?

When Antonio Villaraigosa is doing the math.

We already kind of knew this, but of the 1600 jobs the Mayor claimed would be lost with his budget, 1200 are vacant positions. Meanwhile, 324 of the 400 employees in filled positions will be transferred to other open positions in other departments. This leaves just 76 unlucky City employees who will actually become unemployed July 1.

This of course begs the question:

Besides the Bank of DWP who doesn't have to share any of the sacrifice with the rest of us losers, what other departments have open positions that weren't automatically scuttled with the Mayor's budget?

Weren't all unfilled positions except LAPD officers pulled as part of Tony's "shared sacrifice"?

LAPD has open positions, but your average City service worker will not be qualified for LAPD jobs. So where are all of these workers going? DWP?


(cue Tom Lehrer-like piano and equally plain singing voice)

Who is the biggest loser in this budget? Between loss of services, increases in fees, and a possible impending bankruptcy, the citizens of Los Angeles are the biggest losers in this farce.

People will probably come to realize this as they find they cannot put their kids in summer school since LAUSD has canceled that. Then they try to take the kids to the park or place them in recreation programs, but the parks are closed, filthy, and there are no open recreation programs because there is no money left in the General Fund for Rec and Parks. Then they get their new DWP bill and find themselves in Tier 2 all of a sudden. So they pack the kids up and head into the desert for a vacation but run into DWP bulldozing their favorite natural area for power lines. Then it's back into town where they find the temperature is 100 degrees F and their air conditioning is not working due to DWP rolling blackouts. So they miss work most of the summer caring for the kids in sweltering conditions since they have to stay home. Finally, eviction notices arrive at their home by Thanksgiving, while simultaneously DWP successfully lights up hundreds of thousands of garish bulbs for 6 hours each night in the repetitive Holiday Lights Festival. Almost a million cars idle for hours on end waiting to view this wonder. The resulting carbon load in LA spikes insanely for the 30 days the Festival is in operation, negating any greening of LA's power system that may have occurred in the months before the Festival commenced.

Looks like the Summer of Love 2 is gonna be a toughie, folks. Gird your loin-regions.



Additional:

Ron Kaye outlines more Prop B-'green energy'-Mayor-DWP shenanigans being voted on in today's Clowncil meeting. This time the CRA - a department chock full of financial tomfoolery all by itself - is involved.

Excellent flood of City employees pounding on the Clowncil about cuts to jobs and City services in public comment today! One firefighter just asked why DWP is sacred. Tune in if you can.

Mayor V's Girlfriend Gets Her Betty Done

Yes folks KTLA's Lu Parker actually did a television news story about styling her pubic hair.  Somehow I don't think Mirthala would ever have done this.  Does anyone want to call the 3rd Floor and ask what color she got? Now I think I've seen everything. Hat tip, to an anonymous reader.

Let's Hope The Mayor Got His Swine Flu Shot

Yes this is a new low but a reader sent it along and I could not resist.  Feel free to flog me.  Or read any of the other articles on the blog. Move along now. C'mon.  Nothing else to see here.  Please don't feed the pigs.

Lu Parker Spits on Bill Cosby

UPDATE: KRLA's Kevin James approves of Lu's physique. Thanks Kevin for your support! 

In this clip from the KTLA Morning News new Mayoral squeeze Lu Parker hocks a loogie on Bill Cosby.



And here Lu shows off her modeling talents:



And where it all stared, the 1994 Miss USA Pageant Swimsuit Competition (Lu is the eighth contestant featured, she also appears to have lost her Southern accent):

Another Girlfriend for Mayor Villaraigosa?

Can you say soncha? Does Mayor Villaragiosa have another TV reporter girlfriend? The LA Times and KNBC are reporting the Mayor and KTLA journo and former Miss USA Lu Parker (has Perez Hilton questioned her views on gay marriage?) were seen to be very "chummy" at a Larchmont book and were overheard to discuss an upcoming "trip."

From the Times "The mayor’s spokesman, Matt Szabo, declined to comment 'on the mayor's personal life.'" (Please Wendy Gruel hire Matt back and get him out of these nonsense. We are very worried for him. Working in the Controller's Office would be a great relief for Matt.)

What a great way to start another summer of love! The last one was so much fun! Thanks Tony!

UPDATE: LA Times reports Parker told her bosses she is dating the Mayor and KTLA has confirmed such: “There is no concern as to the ethics whatsoever,’’ said Don Corsini, general manager of KTLA-TV, which like The Times is owned by Tribune Co. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s a personal matter.’’ However some are raising questions that Parker, who has interviewed the Mayor before, may have been covering him (as a reporter) while she was dating him. Parker denies such however it would behoove KTLA to conduct a full investigation if the wish to maintain journalistic credibility.

UPDATE #2: Though Lu Parker has been reported as denying that she reported on Villaraigosa since their relationship began, the LA Times reports this may not be the case. According to The Times, "On Sunday, while working as a weekend anchor, Parker announced a story about the likelihood of Villaraigosa running for governor in 2010." This would have followed the couple being seen in public at the bookstore.  KTLA has said that Parker has been removed from reporting on local politics.