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Sunday, January 05, 2014

2014 Mayor Sam Political Ass Clown Awards

** Blogger's Note: Great January 6, 2014 Sunrise to all as the dawn of the first full political work week of 2014, brings about the return of the Los Angeles City Clowncil Central Committee and the 2014 Edition of the Mayor Sam Political Ass Clown Awards.

Clowncil Members, other assorted local public officials, staffers, cronies, community groupies, connected CBOs and most important, our valued loyal cyber audience of decent blogging Angelinos, its time to gather in front of your respective keyboards as we bring you the dubious best from our diverse cast of "Political Payasos y Payasas" that make up the Los Angeles Political Machine.

As a side note, some of you have inquired about the reason for our selection of the duo of former CD 1 City Councilman Ed Reyes and his "Mini Ed" Chief of Staff Jose Gardea as our new (ex) Political Ass Clown Poster Childs, this comment flashback may help ...........

Clown Councilmember Ed Reyes that is rushing now to get something done in his district after 12 years of doing nothing. This way he can leave a "legacy" at the last moment of his term.  It will not work. Residents know he was a do nothing ghost.January 14, 2013 8:25 AM

That prophetic comment from last year's Political Ass Clown Awards, turned out to be an resume enhancer, which help "Density Ed" (and his fail "Mini Density Ed" Clowncil Replacement of Choice Jose Gardea) land their new gig here at Mayor Sam.

With no further ado, we open our brown bags (at 10 cents a bag thanks to Clowncil Central Committee Reigning "Nanny Spud" Paul Koretz) and present you with the 2014 Mayor Sam Political Ass Clown Awards----Scott Johnson in CD 14.

1. Ass Clown Award for being "The Other Woman":
From her days as a LACCD Board of Trustee Member to her most recent role as Majority Leader of the California State Senate, no one has ever taken for granted the passion behind Gloria Romero's political causes. But a recent Los Angeles Magazine interview with LA County Labor Federation Leader Maria Elena Durazo, outed a "Personal Nine Year Passion of Love (or Lust)" that Romero shared with Durazo's late husband, ground-breaking Latino Labor Leader Miguel Contreras. Sadly for Romero, who has been front and center in recent Public Education Reform (by her support of Charter Schools and the "Parent Trigger Law"), the "Tontos" of the Los Angeles Political Machine will find more political forgiveness than she will ever get for being "The Other Women", that busted the "Union of Fidelity" between the late Contreras and his politically powerful widow Durazo.

2. Ass Clown Award for Over-Priced and Cut-Rate Campaign Consulting:
Its amazing the life of luxury one can live as a "Private Citizen/ Political Consultant" (especially when the wife also has her own shell consulting business, allegedly), just ask John Shallman. In the 2013 Election Cycle, our favorite Tea Party, Wal Mart Family-financed political consultant (whoops!! that was Lani Shallman's gig) found mostly success (and above rate consulting fees) via wins in CD 9 and CD 1. The "Private Citizen/ Political Consultant" even showed his giving side by cut-rating his fees for now City Attorney Mike Feuer in his successful challenge of former Shallman client, ex City Attorney Carmen Trutanich. But in his showcase race, Shallman made Wendy "The Villar Greuel" into the latest incarnation of former CD 2 City Council Candidate Chris Essel. And like Essel, Shallman's high rates left "The Villar Greuel" in debt, while Shallman enjoyed his latest consulting riches ......, before the next IRS Tax Lien. 

3. Ass Clown Award for Scandalous Conduct by a Private Institution of Higher Learning:
The Year of 2013 will go down in local history as a 365 Day Cycle of Dubious Special Interest Behavior for the "University of Scandalous Conduct" (aka USC). Being students of Western Culture, we ponder how the citizens of the ancient City-State of Troy would respond if a politically-connected Four Year Community College (on Figueroa) within its walls, attempted to gain control over the City-State's Coliseum (via an illegal public backroom deal) and proposed cutting a road through its historic Green Space? Some day willing, a aspiring author will write the local "Iliad" of the downfall of a corrupted Special Interest incarnation of the "South Central City-State of Troy" (on Figueroa).

4. Ass Clown Award for Dubious Political (and Public) Expenditures by a Union Boss Thug:
5. Ass Clown Award for Political Brotherly Love (with dubious, backroom conditions):
If one wanted to track back the "Political DNA Chain" of the current "Political Siblings" of the Los Angeles City Clowncil Central Committee", City Clowncil Central Committee Dictator Herb "Mini Amin" Wesson and CD 14 City Clowncilman Jose Huizar, they will find that they share the same "Political Papi" in ex Failure Mayor Antonio Villar. But while "Mini Amin" stays true to his enabling spouse, his "Tonto Politico Soul Brother" threatens to bring down all the political riches that their "Political Papi" left to them via the litigious 2012 Redistricting Scandal (and other nefarious dealings), because of the "Tonto Politico Soul Brother's"  ex Deputy Chief of Staff's allegations, that may open the door to other painful political disclosures.   
6. Ass Clown Award for the best Los Angeles Political Machine Connected "Call Greuel":
When your campaign for Mayor of USA's second-largest city, exposes you for being City Controller Wendy "Senator Barbara Boxer, Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Magic Johnson, LAUSD Former School Board President Monica Gorda Boo Boo Garcia, CD 14 City Councilman Jose Huizar, UFLAC, SEIU, LA County Labor Federation, PPL, Impeached Ex President Bill Clinton, Bankrupted Ex Dodgers Owner Frank McCourt, LA County Board of Supervisor Gloria Molina Boo Boo, Ex Failure Mayor Antonio Villar, and most important, IBEW/DWP Boss D'Arcy's Call Greuel of Choice", enough said.

7. Ass Clown Award for Revocation in Public Charter Education:
8. Ass Clown Award for Political Enabling and Backroom Fidelity by a Power Couple:
Move over former Failure Mayor Antonio Villar for current LA City Clowncil Central Committee Dictator Herb "Mini Amin" Wesson and enabling spouse Fabian, can teach aspiring political  power couples about the fine art of Power-Brokering Fidelity. In the past, Dictator "Mini Amin" Wesson's name has been broached in speculation of wavering spousal commitment (** its seems that LA Wave Newspaper "Soulvine Columnist" Betty Pleasant has "a thing" for a certain "Little Clowncil Dictator", but I digress), but his loyal wife has remain true to their personal/ political union via her enabling of the recent Coliseum Commission/ USC Stadium Deal which violated the Brown Act. Make no doubt that the Wessons will always place politics (and collective enrichment) first while in power.  
9. Ass Clown Award for Drinking and Campaigning:
Of all the Spring of 2013 LA Municipal Elections that were finalized in the May Runoff, the most fulfilling was contributing to the demise of former CD 14 Clowncil Central Committee Member Jose Huizar Chief of Staff Ana Cubas, in her vanity quest to become the first female Princeton Graduate on the Clowncil Central Committee. While the changing demographics of CD 9 did and will favor a strong Latino y Latina Candidate in the future, an ex CD 14 Staffer Carpetbagger (via CD 1's Solano Valley), known to the Mayor Sam Comment Section as "Cubas Libres", apparently was the imbibing role model for her campaign staff as the above email (with photos) disclosed. Of course it didn't help her electability that the now CD 9 Clowncil Central Committee Member Curren Price Campaign, went CLARTS Fund on Cubas, earning the wrath of her ex Boss.
10. Ass Clown Award for the Reigning "Nanny Spud" of the LA City Clowncil Central Committee:
One of the worst by-products of "Democratic Office-Swapping" within the one-party rule political enclave of "Greece on the Pacific", is that pestering Nannycrats such as current CD 5 City Clowncil Central Committee Member Paul "Nanny Spud" Koretz can count on a majority of his fellow Clowncil Travelers to support his Nannycrat schemes. While the reigning Nannycrat of the Clowncil Central Committee has not blamed (or called for the impeachment of) former President George w. Bush  for any civic ills in recent time, the "Westside Nanny Spud" has taken away the choice of plastic bags away from your supermarket check out lines. Meanwhile, the Nanny Spud wants to next limit the amount of cats one household can own in the city. But maybe feed up Angelinos should cap the number of household members of the Nanny Spud Koretz Clan on the Public Payroll?  

11. Ass Clown Award for being a Political and Personal Tonto (allegedly):
Before anyone of the CD 14 Connected CBO Lapdogs or delusional Huizzynistas (Eddie Santillan, TERA, Mago Amador, Julio "Perfect Score" Torres, "Girls Today, Women Tomorrow",  MEAT, "Marie A",  Lulu, Mr. and Mrs. Carol Jacques among others) take umbrage at this latest dubious distinction for the "Dear Charro, Princeton Graduate" City Clowncil Central Committee Member, via the Mayor Sam Blog, you may want to consider this New Year's Resolution Wish from the LA Times ..... Councilman Jose Huizar: Avoid extramarital affairs with your staffers and collisions in city-owned vehicles. That from the supposed "Fishwrap of Record", not some supposed, vindictive blogger.
12. Ass Clown Award for Asinine Email Commentary by a Political Appointee/ Hack: 
Politically-astute Angelinos with disposable income should consider donating to the Open Government Advocate Non-Profit Organization "California Aware". This in lieu of teaming up again with the LA Times, in outing the multiple Brown Act Violations that were the byproduct of the backroom giveaway of the Historic LA Coliseum to the "University of Scandalous Conduct" (aka USC). So egregious was the backroom illegality that the Coliseum Commission sought a court order to compel the LA Times to return emails given to them by an internal sources that expose the behind-the-scenes choreographing of the controversial Coliseum Deal. The Email above takes note of Coliseum Commission Member (and former Herald Examiner Sports Scribe) David Israel calling fellow Commission Member CD 8 City Councilman Bernard Parks "Col Clink" from The "Hogen's Heroes" TV Series.
13. Ass Clown Award for a FBI Affidavit-disclosed Dubious Dealings of a Local State Official:
Contrary to the thoughts of a local State Officeholder, this blogger does not always fixate himself on the cynical follies of our political community, that because there was a time when that "State Officeholder" was more assessable than the current local City Clowncil Central Committee Member. That said, the once favorable opinion (and thoughts that he could better represent the community someday in the same City Clowncil Central Committee capacity), has given way to today's cynical thought (reinforce by his recent dubious disclosures in the State Senator Ron Calderon's FBI Affidavit), that State Senator Kevin De Leon will never reach the pinnacle of power, unlike his San Diego childhood chum, former Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez.

14. Ass Clown Award for Dubious Achievement via a Dysfunctional Political Family:
Its the fifth day of 2014 and somewhere there is a certain San Fernando Valley CD 2/7 Political Family not receiving a public paycheck. Matter of fact, the Political Papi AlarCON and current wife, are awaiting another day in court as the LA County District Attorney licks its prosecutorial chops in pursuing its residency fraud case against the duo. Meanwhile, Lush Daughter AlarCON, has gone to ground in the aftermath of her San Bernardino DUI Conviction and the Former Public Works Commission President's stored City Hall Child Neglect Episode. BTW, we wonder if she is still in contact with "Tony"?

** The Mayor Sam Political Ass Payaso Emeritus Award to ex Failure Mayor Antonio Villar:
Lastly, is there any other two-term LA "Failure Mayor" in recent times, deserving of the first ever Mayor Sam Political Ass Payaso Emeritus Award than Antonio Villar? The claim to legacy via this dubious honor will continue to grow as the fiscal and political bills come due in the near future ahead (think the bill for employee pay raises and deferred LAPD overtime). But the toll of the Reign of Failure Mayor Villar, on the City of Los Angeles access in Sacramento (controlled by Governor Moonbeam II) and Washington D.C. (controlled by a Republican Congress and President Obama), may have an adverse impact on a city still searching for an economic renewal. The fact that the former City Terrace Native fail to gain a foothold on the state or national political stage, and is merely subsisting on B-level jobs offerings (Herbalife, teaching gig at the "University of Scandalous Conduct"), should be reason enough to anoint the former motivation for the "LA Antonio Times Era", a resounding Political FAILURE.

Your thoughts ..............
Scott Johnson in CD 14

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