The 2013 Mayor Sam Political Ass Clown Awards

Happy back to work Monday to all our cyber readers and especially to those at City Hall returning from their respective “holiday recesses”, paid for by the taxpayers. Since we are all back together after our holiday journeys, today is time to announce our 2013 Mayor Sam Political Ass Clown Awards.

With many of the Mayor Sam Ass Clown Committee being veterans of the public sector’s proclivities for cost overruns, endless wasteful studies and not meeting deadlines, its time to put aside our public sector habits and rip open our brown bag wraps to unveil our 2013 awards.

We would like to thank City Clowncil Central Committee Strongman Herb “Mini Amin” Wesson for serving as this year’s honorary Ass Clown Master of Ceremony and to CD 14 City Clowncilman Jose “Dear Charro” Huizar (** who by the way, is a Princeton Graduate) for his gracious act of providing the official city-own vehicle of the 2013 Ass Clown Awards. (** which can go from “0- to a six-figure claim after a happy hour staffer birthday party“)

Without further ado, we call upon our “Gorda Model” to present the brown wraps and unveil the 2013 awardees ………..

1. “Ass Clown Award for Falsehood in Political Mailings”:
New 30th Congressional District Congressman Brad Sherman will need his niece Stacey Brenner to hand him the tissue box as we award his former staffer turned now “Infant Sophomoric Assemblyman” Mike Gatto this honor for his alleged “repugnant independent mailer” on the behalf of Sherman, that was universally condemned by democrats and republicans alike. Further, “Lil Mikey” attempted to game republican voters by buying a spot one of those infamous slate mailers, that touted him as the “republican choice” for the 43rd Assembly District Race. We wonder whether in two years (2015) if “Lil Mikey” will be the political machine’s choice to replace City Clowncilman Tom LaBonge in CD 4?

2. “Ass Clown Award for Backroom Deals by a Group”:
City Clowncil Central Committee Strongman Herb “Mini Amin” Wesson can share with his former staffer and 2012 Redistricting Commission Executive Director Andrew Westall this honor for their now litigious 2012 Redistricting Committee Remap. As “Mini Amin” confessed before members of the black clergy, he was the only diminutive one to stand up to the redistricting demands ( and have Westall oblige of course) of the overbearing other thirteen members (plus an unelected “Average Joe”) of the City Clowncil. With a new look Clowncil Central Committee (and mayor) coming in July of 2013. We wonder if a “backroom fate (coup de tat)” will end the reign of “Mini Amin”?

3. Ass Clown Award for Accident Reporting and Discretionary Funding Accountability:
Hmmm, who could this honor be crafted for? Who could graduate from prominent institutions of higher learning such as Cal-Berkeley, Princeton and the UCLA School of Law, get elected to represent the “Cut and Paste Barrio”, and become the latest CD 14 example of dubious political behavior? Get into an accident in a city vehicle? Who needs a stinkin accident report (allegedly). Fully account for expenditures and respond to Public Records Requests regarding the CLARTS Fund? Who needs stinkin transparency and accountability (allegedly)? That is the stinking dubious ways of the Dear Charro, Princeton Graduate (allegedly).

4. Ass Clown Award for Charter School Indoctrination and Non-Accountability:
While Jorge and Juanita ability to count in Aztec 20 may not show up on recent State of California Education API scores for the controversial Academia Semillas del Pueblo Charter School, rest assure that the cultist, educational collectivist is proficient in indoctrinating their charges against the evils of reactionary, right-wing bloggers. But under the media radar to most is how LAUSD School Board President Monica Garcia’s unwavering (along with unlawful) support, has enable Academia’s founders Marcos Aguilar and wife Minnie Ferguson to become part of Mayor Villar/Councilman Huizar Education Machine Crony Capitalism’s “One Percent”.


5. Ass Clown Award for City Hall Connected Corporate Arrogance:
While long-mourning LA football continue their forlorn wait for the return of the NFL, the AEG LA LIVE Entertainment City-State continues its corporate control over 200 Spring Street. But with a looming sale of its enclave, could the University of Scandalous Conduct (USC) replace AEG as the reigning corporate controller at City Hall?

6. Ass Clown Award for an Expensive Rabble Expression of Speech on a South Lawn:
People’s Mike! (Repeat!) This collective Ass Clown honor (repeat), is awarded to the red rabble known as Occupy LA (repeat), who labor/left’s supported exercise in “expression” (repeat), cost taxpayers $ 4 Million plus dollars (repeat), while law-abiding neighborhood councils were force to pay for their own city charter mandated elections (repeat).

7. Ass Clown Award for Repugnant Behavior in Executing Official Duties:
Tyrants come in many sizes, especially when elected to a seat around the horseshoe, within the John Ferraro City Council Chambers. We are sure that the late City Council President would of cringed in indignation at the actions of current City Clowncil Central Committee Strongman Herb “Mini Amin” Wesson, who’s Clowncil Presidency was tarnished by his disrespectful mannerisms, directed at former Mayor Richard Riordan, Riordan, who spent six-figures on a failed attempt to place a pension reform measure on the ballot, was cut off at the City Hall podium by the former stand up comic, turned City Clowncil despot. The irony here is that “Mini Amin” karma (or lack of) may bite him in the rear come July, 2013.

8. Ass Clown Award for Deadly Political Consequences:
Pardon us as we focus momentary on the deadly legislation that is Prison Realignment via AB 109. While Mayor Villar and his political appointee to LAPD Chief Charlie Beck tout  supposed reduced crime in Los Angeles, thousands of “Non Revocable Parolees/Non Violent, Low Level Offenders” have been dumped on the streets, taxing law enforcement resources. Before, if ever, the debacle of AB 109 will cause more deaths of innocent citizens, crime levels will rise (despite doctored “comm-stat” numbers) and you can thank the one party majority democrats who put the criminals before the law-abiding citizen, …… again.

9. Ass Clown Award for dubious dealings of City Departments:
Where do we start? DWP for its questionable rate increases? Building and Safety Department for corrupt inspectors such as CD 10 & 14 connected Building Inspector Samuel In? Mayor Villar’s GRYD Program for covering up incidents at it SNL Program? Who can forget HACLA and its recent troubles?.** But thanks to California Governor Moonbeam II, we can finally say good riddance to CRA LA and its E.D. Chris Essel.

10. Ass Clown Award Questionable Actions without Consequences:
We nominate Board of Public Works President Andrea Alarcon as the Mayor Sam Pin Up Girl for her questionable actions that merited no accountability from her “friend” Mayor Villar. Please list how many public sector political appointees who can retain gainful employment after a DUI with child in car and leave the same child to walk the dark streets of Downtown LA, while partying? Actually, there are many in the Villar Administration.

11. Ass Clown Award for Journalistic Malpractice:
You are never to old to earn a Mayor Sam Ass Clown Award as exampled by this next award recipient. The Old Gray Collectivist Hag on Spring Street has acted as a supposed fish wrap of record, spanning the last three centuries. But as the paper column inches decrease with its readership, true journalism has been usurped by a bias liberal agenda that has enable the current dysfunctional ethical state at City Hall.

12. Ass Clown Award via a Fictional Entity:
Who could blame CD 2 City Councilman Paul Krekorian Communication Director Jeremy Oberstein for the want of conveying the intellect of his boss through various media medians? Whether its Facebook, bloggers, press releases, twitter or a make-believe sock puppet in the Studio City Patch, nothing is above the communication resources of Oberstein, when it comes to pushing the Krekorian agenda.

13. Ass Clown Award for over-priced Political Consulting:
The pursuit of political victories and its billing riches (or is it the other way around?) for “Private Citizen/Political Consultant” John Shallman. The man who is the lead consultant for “The Villar Greuel’s “ quest to extend the ravages of the “Villar Machine” for a third term, may overshadow his latest client via his own financial issues and litigation via former client City Attorney Carmen Trutanich. While “the John” of the duo Shallman Consulting Household works with exclusive democratic candidates, his wife’s Lani’s consulting firm raised eye brows by doing $1.7 Million Dollars in business with Tea Party and Walmart connected IE Groups (or was it really John?).

14. Ass Clown Award for Duo Enabling on behalf a CD 13 City Council Candidate: 
In a few moments, Mayor Sam is going to award Michael “MEAT” Trujillo and KPCC’s Alice “The Enabling Maven” Walton an Ass Clown Award for their enabling cooperation on behalf of Labor Left Political Candidate John Choi. How many candidates for office can have their consultant/campaign manager call up a member of the supposed objective media and plant a positive story on their latest client? We should also award Choi an Ass Clown for picking “MEAT” as campaign front person, considering “MEAT” past campaigning accomplishments (how long ago was that?).  

15. ** The First Ever Ass Clown Legacy Award to Mayor Antonio Ramon Villar:
Dream with us to a time when a Million Trees clean the air for all. Dream with us to a time when garbage fees paid for 10,000 police. Dream with us to a time when ethics was the norm, not exception at City Hall. Dream with us to a time when wi-fi was free for all in Ciudad de Los Angeles. Dream with us to a time when a mayor focus 100% on his job. Dream with us to a time when a true Mayoral Family resided at Getty House. Dream with us to a time when city employees were responsible for planning and saving for their respective retirement. Dream with us to a time when a call to 911 resulting in a five minute emergency response time. Dream with us to a time when DWP rate increases were the exception and not a spending spree for IBEW Chief Brian D’Arcy……….. and lastly come July 1, 2013, may Angelinos all come together to celebrate the merciful end of the failed, eight year reign of Mayor Tony Villar.

Your thoughts …………….
Scott Johnson and the Ass Clown Award Committee.