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Monday, December 30, 2013

2014 Predictions

After a two-year hiatus, I'm back with your annual predictions post. You should be warned, I have a horrible track record here, so take each prognostication with a grain of salt. Here we go...

Mayor Eric Garcetti's Chief of Staff, Ana Guerrero, will continue to earn electability chops in Jose Huizar's Council District, much to the chagrin of the incumbent and his supporters. Following her appearance in the Boyle Heights Christmas Parade - which included distributions from an 18 wheeler filled with toys and goodies - Guerrero will stage a special production of Ana Lloyd Weber's "Evita" where she will give a stunning performance of "Don't Cry for Me CD Catorce," at the bandstand at Olvera Street, followed up by Target gift cards raining from the sky.

Much to the chagrin of Blogger Scott Johnson and the community around the Arroyo Seco, the former site of the Southwest Musuem will be rededicated as "Villaraigosa University," with a special degree program in broadcast journalism taught by the ex-Mayor.

Following a special election in the summer of 2014, LA Fire Commissioner and former teacher Jimmie Woods-Gray will pull out a surprise win in the race to replace the late Marguerite LaMotte. Woods-Gray's victory, will deal a severe blow to LA's charter school movement.

Blogger/Writer Joseph Mailander will sign a deal for the movie version of his non-fiction book "Days Change at Night: LA's Decade of Decline." Esai Morales will be signed to play Mayor Villaraigosa and the film will feature a cameo by Randy Quaid as blogger Scott "Red Spot" Johnson.

The storied Sunland-Tujunga Neighborhood Council, which spent it's salad days with wins such as blocking a controversial Home Depot store, but in recent years has found itself the subject of questions on finances and it's policies on the homeless issue, will find it's incumbent members facing an electoral challenge in the spring from a coalition assembled by controversial local newspaper publisher David "Doc" DeMulle. The uprising will fail when all realize that Joseph Mailander was right when he said that the community is "18 people arguing with 17 people over 14 microphones and 60,000 that don't care." (Turns out the finals of Dancing With the Stars featuring Chaz Bono and Kim Kardashian is on TV the same night as the elections.)

Former City Controller and failed Mayoral candidate Wendy Greuel will jump into the race to succeed termed out LA County Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky. Once again Greuel will use "Political Consultant/Private Citizen" John Shallman to helm her campaign and once again will lose, this time to former State Senator Sheila James Kuehl, "The Child Start Formerly Referred to as Zelda."

California Republican candidates for the State Assembly will pick up some unexpected wins in various races around the state, it won't be enough to assume control of the lower chamber, but it will take away the Democrats current veto-proof majority, leading to several deals between Republican legislators and Governor Jerry Brown, who will be by the way, re-elected handily.

Former radio talk show host and Mayoral candidate and current President of the Board of Public Works, Kevin James, will announce he is leaving the Republican party and register as "Decline to State." James will then announce his candidacy for the Council District 4 seat being vacated by Tom LaBonge.

County Supervisor Mark Ridley-Thomas will announce that he has brokered a deal for an existing NFL football team to move to the LA Coliseum with the 2017-18 season, but the deal will fall apart at the last minute. An expansion team for Los Angeles will eventually be located in a yet to be built stadium outside the city limits.

And finally, on the steps of the State Capitol, just after Thanksgiving, Governor Jerry Brown will announce his candidacy for the Democratic nomination for President in 2016.


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