Humor for Your Afternoon
Posted by Anonymous @ 2/09/2005 01:30:00 PM
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
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21 Comments:
Chief, this is hilarious.
Chief are you trying to take away Michael Ramirez of LAT spot?
This is so funny!!! Parks looks the best and Hertzberg looks like the Stain Puff Marshmellow Man. Alarcon is not memorable and Antonio looks like the "Hamburglar". AV is waitying to steal your vote, he is the Vote-Burglar too. Hahn is a waste as usual, he is a worn out punching bag and that is the best thing to say about him.
CONFIDENTIAL
----"Hahn for Mayor 2005 Campaign Strategy"----
***********30 Day Countdown**************
by Julie B.C.H. Wongmeister
Operation Pay-To-Play
In a marked reversal of our usual "Pay-to-play" operation, it will be Jimmy that will be paying (for votes) so that Jimmy and all of us "The Mayor's Men" may play again (another 4 years of screwing the dumb Angelenos).
What follows are proposed Pay Projects that our campaign may use (without it costing us anything) by billing, bilking, shafting and screwing the tax payers.
1. All 88 Neighborhood Councils "Leaders" will receive an autographed photo of Jimmy filling a pothole of their choosing.
2. These same "Leaders" will receive another $100,000 per NC for their annual mountain retreat which will feature training courses, such as:
A) Shafting the L.A. Taxpayer - "The Hahn Multi-Disciplinary Approach to Screwing"
B) 101 Ways to Fleece L.A.'s Sheep (The Taxpayer)
C) My Life as Mayor - Jimmy Hahn's personal reflections on his one-term as mayor. This course is rated MA (Mature Audiences Only). Conversation will include tales of greed, corruption, sex and the shocker - how boring it all was.
D) The Art of the Yawn - Using the Jimmy Hahn proven system
3. Padded Cash envelopes (using the Mayor's special fund- City of LA Account #72739-52 (Check your phone keys and unscramble) will be personally handed to "special" people utilizing and via our dedicated Maintenance Yard personnel (on city time) which will be delivered with the lawn signs that are currently stored in the following City properties:
a)All DWP facilities in the door marked "DANGER- DO NOT ENTER-YOU WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH"
b) All union controlled city properties in the door marked "PELIGRO contribuyente - ser mal perdedor – Do Not Enter"
c) Saturday ONLY! At the city printing press in Piper Tech there will be a special secret run of exclusive Jimmy for Mayor stuff
4. A special buffet reception for all Jimmy Hahn supporters starring the “Nation of Islam Race-Baiters” and other surprise guests.
This is all very exciting for us as we move into new territory. We should all be proud that we, collectively, have raised the art form of screwing the tax payers to higher levels than ever done in this sick city.
Remember the Jimmy chant:
“Who do we screw?
The Taxpayer ! The Taxpayer! The Taxpayer
Yeaaaaaae…The Taxpayer..!
Jimmy’s Greatest Joke:
How many Angelenos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1. Angelenos don't screw in light bulbs, they get screwed by the Mayor!
2. Five. Fleischmann Hillard to PR the issue, Antonio Villa to take credit for the issue, Parks to complain about the 3 day work week by the bulb installers, Alarcon to hand it over to the NC’s for resolution, Hertzberg to breakup the lightbulb and me, Jimmy, to financially rape you (the taxpayer) out of all your life savings.
Okay, Hanhsters let’s get back to screwing the city.
Your friend, Julie
What a waste of space and not funny at all.
Not the least bit funny. I certainly hope that is not someone who is being paid by the city. I suggest you drop your comedian act since it's not funny and go do something productive.
I thought that was freakin' hilarious!!!
Hey Duude, (insert Beavis and/or Butthead laugh here) the cartoon WAS freakin hilarious. It was the Julie babble that wasn't funny.
They all look like women hitting poor Jimmy
Anything about Julie is funny. Do you think she could get a job in the real world? Its bad enough to be a flack but to be one for Jim Hahn! Now that's FUNNY!
Seriously, that post had some great chuckles. Its too bad you guys down on the third floor can't take a joke.
And whoever said Tony Villar looks the hamburgular - you're right!
Alarcon looks more like Quentin Tarantino in this one, looks nothing like him.
This Hahn supporter likes the cartoon, too:
Antonio's worthless little rabbit punches are having no effect. Parks' footwork is all wrong. Alarcon's punch is glancing off. Hertzberg isn't even in the ring. And Hahn? Four on one and still hanging in there.
FOUR MORE YEARS!
FOUR MORE YEARS IS RIGHT!
I did like the cartoon and hated the Julie babble. It was not hilarious and I'm sure she can get any job she wants be it a public servant or a major business.
I don't work on the 3rd floor either. I sit home and watch and watch and listen and watch what goes on down there though. While eating bons bons of course. It's just that instead of soap operas, I watch City Council meetings.
And please spell marshmallow right. I'm so tired of seeing it on every story spelled marshmellow. No spell check?
How many Villaraigosa's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(If you think I'm touching that line after the indignant howls about sleaze and personal-life attacks in past elections, you're crazy!)
It takes four Tonys to put up a light bulb. It takes the four Tonys he has been throughout his entire life.
There was originally Tony Vilar(up until 11th grade), by not pronouncing the "elle" on his last name he tried to come off as French, this was one of his earlier pick up lines back when been Mexican wasn't cool.
Then there was Tony Viyar (11th grade to UCLA), with the correct last name being used, probably due to the rise in Chicano activism and all the easy girls involved.
Then after not getting into any law schools and settling for People's College of law, I guess Tony realized that to qualify he had to be renamed Antonio. The fact that this was during one of the largest migrations of Latinos from Mexico and Central America I'm sure had a bearing on his ambitious decision.
And finally, to shore up the liberal Jewish vote (and women) he changed his name to Villaraigosa. He had already changed his name and the invites were already printed so I guess his reluctant wife had no other choice but to go through it.
But unfortunately for Tony supporters - a Tony, by any other name, is still a Tony.
Julie will you please stop anonymously defending yourself.
We heard the yelling downstairs this morning.
So, you are on the 4th floor then Mayor Sam-if you could hear the yelling downstairs. Which means you work on this during the work day?
Only on her breaks.
I don't think Mayor Sam said he works on the Fourth Floor.
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