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Friday, January 16, 2009

Mayor Teams Up With Lenscrafters to Fight Gang Violence

Just a reminder that it's another Frivolous Friday in Clowncil chambers on your dime, folks...

January 13, 2009 -Los Angeles

In the wake of the killing of an innocent 4 year old child by alleged gang members, the Mayor of Los Angeles has brought forth a combining of government and commerce to stave the problem.

Being the incident occurred in broad daylight and the child was on the sidewalk in plain sight when stuck by a stray bullet fired from a passing red car allegedly at the hands of gangmembers, Mayor Anthony Villaraigosa has come up with a plan in conjunction with Lenscrafters to check and provide free eye exams to all gang members in the City.


Glasses, contacts,and even laser surgery will be given free of charge with costs divided by the City and Lenscrafters. Doing this will prevent these miscalculations by said gangmembers and let our City's children remain safe again.


-Louis Elovitz, MS CorreDespondent



REBUTTAL:

As always, this is government aiming at the wrong target (pun intended). Most gangbangers already have pretty good eyesight or wear corrective lens, etc. They're just really lousy shots!

What NEEDS to happen is they should get free practice sessions at their nearest law enforcement run firing range (ya know, one night a week could be "gang night" like bowling alleys have league nights). It could even be competitive in nature. Rather than shooting at paper targets, set groups who are fighting over turf at opposite ends to face off against each other. Or, just say the word, and I'll get Tony V. to issue them vouchers for use at private firing ranges, on a more flexible schedule.Let's address the problem directly here. Bad aim, not bad eyes... and lets cut down on the prison population some as well as the waste of expensive ammo by making sure rival thugs take each other out in even greater numbers, more accurately. There really are no BAD boys in L.A. -- just bad marksman.

(This rebuttal message was brought to you by the undertakers at Rose Hills and Forest Lawn, as a public service).

-Parque Esqueleto, MS CorreDespondent

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said:

It's Friday and still no Zuma Dog on Night Line, Dateline or anything else other than channel 35.

Big surprise that our boy made a boastful promise that didn't come true.

The only thing else that's really funny about this is that Zuma Dog is now using Hollywood studio type language like "My segment was bumped."

Yeah. Bumped into 2011.

January 16, 2009 10:10 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I don't think everyone will understand that this is an ATTEMPT at sarcasm.

Obviously, since the child was just murdered a few days ago, and since no program, even in the best governments, takes months, this isn't a real post.

Maybe you should take the time to clarify this, so people don't actually think the mayor is doing something good.

January 16, 2009 10:29 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

This iss like the Ramona Gardens story from 2003.

January 16, 2009 10:40 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What is the point of this? And was it written by Louis or Pietro?

January 16, 2009 10:52 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

This is funny but I don't get the point.

January 16, 2009 11:11 AM  

Blogger Parque Esqueleto said:

As always, this is government aiming at the wrong target (pun intended). Most gangbangers already have pretty good eyesight or wear corrective lens, etc.

They're just really lousy shots!

What NEEDS to happen is they should get free practice sessions at their nearest law enforcement run firing range (ya know, one night a week could be "gang night" like bowling alleys have league nights). It could even be competitive in nature. Rather than shooting at paper targets, set groups who are fighting over turf at opposite ends to face off against each other.

Or, just say the word, and I'll get Tony V. to issue them vouchers for use at private firing ranges, on a more flexible schedule.

Let's address the problem directly here. Bad aim, not bad eyes... and lets cut down on the prison population some as well as the waste of expensive ammo by making sure rival thugs take each other out in even greater numbers, more accurately.

There really are no BAD boys in L.A. -- just bad marksman.

(This rebuttal message was brought to you by the undertakers at Rose Hills and Forest Lawn, as a public service).

January 16, 2009 11:13 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

How about Seeing Eye Dogs for the bind gangbangers who cannot shoot straight?

January 16, 2009 11:14 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Nahhh, they'd end up shooting each other's seeing eye dogs.

If you think there's public outrage over a child being mowed down, just WAIT until the local animal wackos hear that a DOG got kilt in a drive-by.

Then we'll really have the citizenry up in arms.

(Hey, could we maybe stage a "Wag the Dog" type of fake shooting of some animal by known Crips or Avenues?) Appear to kill a puppy on the street, and you'll finally get enough public outcry to really change the gang coddling, maybe even overturn Special Order 40.

Hell, the shooting of a innocent by-squatting "Fido" (even faked), just out taking a dump on the neighbors parkway is probably the only way Wacko Walter could ever become a threat to Antonio for Mayor.

Next up: "Fido's Law" -- a revisited Jamiel's law, but with REAL teeth, this time since a family pet was murdered, instead of just a human kid.

January 16, 2009 11:47 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

11:13

They need to practice in moving vehicles. Find a firing range with a large parking lot, too.

January 16, 2009 11:48 AM  

Blogger Heather said:

Again the lowlife Mayor somehow wants to get involved in yet another tragedy but doesn't have a clue how to come up with a solution. No doubt he will be at the forefront of the press conf. where it was LAPD detectives who got the suspect. Maybe if the Mayor would have a press conf. and denounce gang bangers and all the illegals here in LA who are killling innocent victims something may happen but don't count on it. LAPD officers have been shot at 527 times in 2008 AND NOT ONE SINGLE WORD FROM THE GANG BANGER MAYOR. Where is the outrage from him?????

January 16, 2009 2:35 PM  

Blogger Video Louis Elovitz said:

OUR MAYOR/alcalde/AvenuesAlumni
say no more, that IS THE JOKE!
GANGS kill, CHILDREN die
-you want to get HEAVY?
So I made a joke because
the JOKES ON US.

Louis

(Thanx Heather for your add)

January 16, 2009 6:24 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

NOT TRUE. Mayor Tony flashed hand signals denoting extreme sympathy to his homies as he drove by on the way to a campaign photo-op.

I think he was going to fill a pothole in Tuloka Lake.

January 16, 2009 7:16 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What a bunch of blind leading the blind: Furnell Chatman went to New Orleans, not The Great Beyond. He's been a newscaster for so long, even Dennis Zine says he grew up watching him as a kid. It that's true, Furnell's been taking an anti-aging pill he hasn't shared with Dennis Zine. But then that's not all that Dennis is missing most of the time.

January 16, 2009 8:29 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Please, Please, Please... Tell us this all IS a joke!!!!!!

January 17, 2009 6:26 AM  

Blogger Heather said:

What's up with Huizar constantly giving awards to Ramona Gardens? This is the area that was filled with the most violent gang bangers who terrorized residents that not even the mailman, UPS, cable, or telephone people were allowed in. Yet, Huizar is doing everything bringing in money and resources to that area and the entire district is going down the toliet. Did the Big Hazard Guys threaten him to do more? WHy is a new program called Violence Intervention Program getting tons of gang money from the Mayor?

January 17, 2009 7:49 AM  

Anonymous Michele said:

Hey Mayor Sam and All -

Can you spread the word?

Please join me!

This Martin Luther King day, at 3pm, I'm going to stand in the parking lot of Canoga Bowl on Vanowen Ave. holding a sign that simply says "Enough!"

I've had enough. Enough of people being killed for the color of their skin, as James Shamp was this Dec. 22nd, in the parking lot of where he worked, Canoga Bowl. Enough of four year olds dying. Enough innocent teenagers gunned down simply for walking down the street. Enough violence all over LA. Enough of our lame city govt. thinking simply changing the name of South Central to "South" LA will solve the violence. Enough of our city (Janice Hahn) paying Gang Members who she naively believes are reformed - but are actually laughing as they still commit crimes and spend our money. Enough!

We can sit in our homes and let our govt. "handle" the problems. Or we can get out and tell them what they are doing (or not doing) is NOT enough. They need to treat this as the war it is. Minor gang members need to be held accountable. I want to see cops walking, riding, driving the most gang infested streets. Apparently, I live in a pretty damn gang infested area... but, uh, don't see a regular flow of cops working the beat.

I'm asking people to join me. Please give me some hope that people still care. I don't have much time between Sunday and MLK day, but I am going to try and contact Dennis Zine, some radio stations and get the word out to my community. But even if stand alone, I don't care. I can not live life knowing I sat quiet while innocent people needlessly died/and keep on dying. I've had enough!

Sincerely,

Michele, Winnetka citizen

January 18, 2009 2:57 AM  

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