Mayor Teams Up With Lenscrafters to Fight Gang Violence
January 13, 2009 -Los Angeles
In the wake of the killing of an innocent 4 year old child by alleged gang members, the Mayor of Los Angeles has brought forth a combining of government and commerce to stave the problem.
Being the incident occurred in broad daylight and the child was on the sidewalk in plain sight when stuck by a stray bullet fired from a passing red car allegedly at the hands of gangmembers, Mayor Anthony Villaraigosa has come up with a plan in conjunction with Lenscrafters to check and provide free eye exams to all gang members in the City.
Glasses, contacts,and even laser surgery will be given free of charge with costs divided by the City and Lenscrafters. Doing this will prevent these miscalculations by said gangmembers and let our City's children remain safe again.
-Louis Elovitz, MS CorreDespondent
As always, this is government aiming at the wrong target (pun intended). Most gangbangers already have pretty good eyesight or wear corrective lens, etc. They're just really lousy shots!
What NEEDS to happen is they should get free practice sessions at their nearest law enforcement run firing range (ya know, one night a week could be "gang night" like bowling alleys have league nights). It could even be competitive in nature. Rather than shooting at paper targets, set groups who are fighting over turf at opposite ends to face off against each other. Or, just say the word, and I'll get Tony V. to issue them vouchers for use at private firing ranges, on a more flexible schedule.Let's address the problem directly here. Bad aim, not bad eyes... and lets cut down on the prison population some as well as the waste of expensive ammo by making sure rival thugs take each other out in even greater numbers, more accurately. There really are no BAD boys in L.A. -- just bad marksman.
(This rebuttal message was brought to you by the undertakers at Rose Hills and Forest Lawn, as a public service).
-Parque Esqueleto, MS CorreDespondent