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Thursday, July 31, 2008

DODGERS GET MANNY RAMIREZ from RED SOX

and Haikula gets her first Mayor Sam scoop!

(not counting the newspapers, which both SUCK ASS!)

Manny is the guy on the right, in case you're a Rams or Raiders fan who doesn't know baseball as well as I do. At any rate, it'll be fun to watch Manny's whopping home runs.

But be careful of what you wish for. The Boston Globe (why couldn't the McCourts make a trade to bring the GLOBE to LA?) has a great pictorial entitled "Manny Being Manny" which means that Ramirez is a slugger, but also a wackadoo.

Who wants to bet that Mayor Mirthala-Retardo is cutting short his fishing trip to welcome Manny to LA and claim credit for it?

Labels: , , , ,

16 Comments:

Anonymous offended said:

HIGBY!!! Haiku said Villa-retardo and I'm offended!!!! WAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAH

July 31, 2008 5:15 PM  

Blogger HaikuLA said:

I didn't write Villa-retardo.

I wrote Mirthala-retardo.

July 31, 2008 6:04 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

haikula is right; lil 'tonio was a 'tard for mirthala

July 31, 2008 6:28 PM  

Anonymous offended said:

You Silly Rabbit
I saw Villa Retardo
Deny all you want

(Damn I'm good.)

July 31, 2008 7:32 PM  

Anonymous the final word said:

Although the reference contained the word Mirthala instead Villar the reference was indeed toward the mayor.

It uses the term mayor and makes reference as to what the mayor will probably be doing. Not Mirthala.

But the main thing is "puh-lease" don't come around here and pretend that you are somehow offended by the reference, unless you are a "retardo" yourself who is offended by having your self compared to the mayor.

July 31, 2008 7:37 PM  

Blogger HaikuLA said:

5:15,

A retarded guy just called.

He was offended at being compared to the Mayor.

Happy now?

July 31, 2008 7:51 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

732 thinks a haiku is 5-7-5-3.

NOW we know who the REAL retard is.

July 31, 2008 8:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Retarded is as Retarded does....

July 31, 2008 8:14 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Dear God

July 31, 2008 8:30 PM  

Blogger HaikuLA said:

Now I know where you're reading "Villa-Retardo", 5:15. It's in the "labels" line.

Since Adam Carolla refers to the mayor as "Villa-Retardo" on his radio show, I used this in the labels line in case others do, too.

But for the text, it's Mirthala-Retardo because as 6:28 pointed out, the Mayor was Retardo for Mirthala.

After all, he ruined his family and career over her. And then got dumped and looked like a puss after she ran away from him when cameras approached them in a mall.

Thanks for giving me this extra platform to remind everyone that the Mayor is an imbecile.

July 31, 2008 9:33 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Manny versus the Mayor.

They prove the old saying: Don't go into a battle of wits unarmed.

July 31, 2008 10:37 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

As for the Ass Clown Don Quixote here's a haiku:


Man of many cloaks
Loses the essence of his heart
When he Dons them all.

Damn I'm good

August 01, 2008 9:55 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

955 get over yourself.

You can't even get a haiku right.

It's not 5-8-5

August 01, 2008 11:45 AM  

Blogger Red Spot in CD 14 said:

From dodgerblues.com

Manny Ramirez is a Dodger. It sounds bizarre, and will probably look even odder, but one of baseball’s most feared hitters is headed west—baggage and all. There’s no doubt that he’ll make the Dodgers a better team for the next two months—at least offensively—but the questions are endless. Whose place in the outfield does Ramirez take? What happened to the desperate search for a shortstop? What happens to Ramirez after the season? Or in two weeks when he starts bitching about a contract extension? What happens at third base next year with Andy LaRoche gone? What happens when Ramirez realizes Dodger fans leave in the 6th inning and cheer mid-inning car races more vociferously than late-inning heroics? And the biggest question of all: Does Ned Colletti have a fucking clue what he’s doing?

The Ramirez deal is obviously something that came together in the last day or two, which says that it was never on Colletti’s radar. From all accounts, Ned was looking for a shortstop, a pitcher, and maybe a couple veteran stiffs to come off the bench. So why Manny? Because Manny became available. I can picture Ned out shopping for a sweater when suddenly he sees a beautiful toaster oven. He already has a toaster oven, and didn’t set out looking for a toaster oven, but damn, that’s a nice toaster oven. So he buys the toaster oven, takes it home, and never thinks about the sweater that was on his list—yet he walks outside at night and freezes his moustache off. And then buys two more toaster ovens.

The Dodgers have obviously lacked quite a bit this season (big hitter, ace pitcher, regular third baseman, steady replacement at short…), but there’s nothing they lack more than direction. I’ve written this many times before, and I guess I’ll say it again: every move they make seems to happen in a bubble. There’s no connection to moves made prior and no foresight as to what comes next. One day it’s this, the next it's that. Ned has had three years to not only develop a plan, but to implement it—yet he seems completely lost.

“We didn’t plan in advance how to move things around,” said Joe Torre after the trade, referring to the fact that the Dodgers now have five outfielders. Didn’t plan in advance? Yeah, no shit—but why the hell not? If I have a two-car garage and decide to go out and buy three more cars, I’d probably give a little thought as to where I’d park them. How can you get Manny Ramirez (or anyone, really) without thinking about how it’s going to impact Andre Ethier, the team’s steadiest outfielder? Or Matt Kemp, the team’s prized future star? Or Juan Pierre, the guy with three years left on his contract? Or even Andruw Jones, the team’s biggest mistake? (By the way, if Jones isn't one of the two outfielders now sitting on the bench, I'm moving to Iceland.)

Again, I think Manny Ramirez is great—especially when his salary is being paid by Boston—and I’m not necessarily brokenhearted about losing LaRoche, but where’s the goddamn plan? You can attack me with hate mail about how I'm too negative or too stupid or too whatever, but I just can't fully get behind a trade that seems more of an F-you to the Angels for picking up Mark Texiera than it does an integral piece to a bigger picture. No plan, no plan, no plan.

On the field, the Dodgers’ plan certainly didn’t involve losing the first game of a four-game series against Arizona. A win would have put the Dodgers in a tie for first, a loss two games back. The Dodgers opted for the latter, falling to the Diamondbacks 2-1. Had he not been busy simulating oral on a Manny Ramirez baseball card, Ned Colletti might have seen Andruw Jones make the last out of the game with the tying run on base.

August 01, 2008 4:09 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Even on a Manny Ramirez thread people are telling HaikuLA what a loser she is -- soon, she'll be giving us financial advice and quoting Deming, Sun Tzu and Tony Robbins. And singing karaoke on weekend nights at the Cantina. (Wave hi to Dennis Zine when you and zuma are hanging in the Bu, mabye he'll drop by and catch a brew, hoping to catch a bonafide celeb who actually recognizes HIM.)

August 01, 2008 4:34 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

434, if you have any irrefutable proof that I'm Zuma Dogg, bring it on.

Right off the bat, you know that ZD isn't going to use words like irrefutable.

I do happen to be a fan of his, though. So what am I supposed to say? That I'm not a fan? That I am?

I totally dig how you're still writing about my nothing post from 24 hours ago!

Again, more money in Higby's rice bowl! I sure as shit don't need it. Do you see a redirect or counter on my blog? Me no think so! SUCKA!

August 01, 2008 8:22 PM  

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