Disclosure on the "usage" of AnVil by "Parque"
As a public service, we bring you this from "Parque".
Gosh durn it, I don't know how Regardie found out about the branding plan, but so be it.
But, as with the similar sounding "Advil" we realize that “AnVil” will need to come with a detailed, but fine-print warning label. (We’re just waiting to find out if someone has to recite it very quickly in low tones under future campaigns ads or just during "state of the city" speeches?)
Here's the draft so far:
AnVil (generic name: Tony Villar)
"AnVil is a overly ambitious, underachieving career politician (OAU-CP). For more information, see:
80 FAKE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCHES
"AnVil may cause an increased and non-reversable drain on your already stressed belief in elected officials, and - if you're taxpayer - on your wallet, but will smile big while doing it, and tell its for your own good.
"Do not swallow anything AnVil says as truth especially if you are already taking a medication that makes you dizzy while operating heavy machinery.
"If you're a city worker whose job it IS to operate heavy machinery, don't worry about that in any event. The city's unions already have AnVil in their back pocket. Nothing more will be expected of you, except to get out the vote next election day.
"For some who take AnVil with anything more than a grain of salt. Don't.
"The risk of AnVil becoming habit forming has been found to be greater if you're already lonely, and have a father fixation. Ask Mirthala.
"Do not attempt to confront AnVil with embarrassing questions and a TV camera, which may result in you being thrown to the concrete or run down by LAPD officers on security detail.
"AnVil will most likely increase your risk of developing lowered expectations in what local government can produce -- if that's possible.
"Side effects can also include a complete depletion of any left-over idealism from the golden age of so-called 'progressive' politics.
"AnVil is not a 'Latino" candidate for public office (unless he happens to be addressing a predominantly Latino audience).
"AnVil will not actually 'clean your toilets' - so don't even ask, you little troll.
"Generally speaking, do not support AnVil if honesty is government is important to you, or if you once believe any such thing was possible.
"Elderly citizens, especially those who remember when city leaders at least tried to keep their promises, may be at greater risk of never bothering to vote again.
"Side affects may occur without any warning, but the most annoying are short-lived -- just sit it out until the 30-second AnVil sound-byte fades from the nightly local TV news.
"Consult your own moral or ethical compass if you ever again consider casting votes for AnVil or any of the politicans or propositions he supports. Or, contact your mental health practitioner immediately.
"Don't be concerned if you feel you are running short on your AnVil supply. AnVil only comes in "short."
"Do not store AnVil near women of any race or ethnicity under the age of 40, married or unmarried, and expect to find them there when you return.
"If you choose to ignore all the warnings on this label and still try to use AnVil -- then you obviously haven't been paying attention. People don't USE AnVil, he USES them."If you experience any or all of these symptoms after getting a dose of AnVil, of any size -- well . . . you're just one in 4 million.
"WELCOME TO THE DAMN CLUB!
May 14, 2008 4:34 PM
Gosh durn it, I don't know how Regardie found out about the branding plan, but so be it.
But, as with the similar sounding "Advil" we realize that “AnVil” will need to come with a detailed, but fine-print warning label. (We’re just waiting to find out if someone has to recite it very quickly in low tones under future campaigns ads or just during "state of the city" speeches?)
Here's the draft so far:
AnVil (generic name: Tony Villar)
"AnVil is a overly ambitious, underachieving career politician (OAU-CP). For more information, see:
80 FAKE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCHES
"AnVil may cause an increased and non-reversable drain on your already stressed belief in elected officials, and - if you're taxpayer - on your wallet, but will smile big while doing it, and tell its for your own good.
"Do not swallow anything AnVil says as truth especially if you are already taking a medication that makes you dizzy while operating heavy machinery.
"If you're a city worker whose job it IS to operate heavy machinery, don't worry about that in any event. The city's unions already have AnVil in their back pocket. Nothing more will be expected of you, except to get out the vote next election day.
"For some who take AnVil with anything more than a grain of salt. Don't.
"The risk of AnVil becoming habit forming has been found to be greater if you're already lonely, and have a father fixation. Ask Mirthala.
"Do not attempt to confront AnVil with embarrassing questions and a TV camera, which may result in you being thrown to the concrete or run down by LAPD officers on security detail.
"AnVil will most likely increase your risk of developing lowered expectations in what local government can produce -- if that's possible.
"Side effects can also include a complete depletion of any left-over idealism from the golden age of so-called 'progressive' politics.
"AnVil is not a 'Latino" candidate for public office (unless he happens to be addressing a predominantly Latino audience).
"AnVil will not actually 'clean your toilets' - so don't even ask, you little troll.
"Generally speaking, do not support AnVil if honesty is government is important to you, or if you once believe any such thing was possible.
"Elderly citizens, especially those who remember when city leaders at least tried to keep their promises, may be at greater risk of never bothering to vote again.
"Side affects may occur without any warning, but the most annoying are short-lived -- just sit it out until the 30-second AnVil sound-byte fades from the nightly local TV news.
"Consult your own moral or ethical compass if you ever again consider casting votes for AnVil or any of the politicans or propositions he supports. Or, contact your mental health practitioner immediately.
"Don't be concerned if you feel you are running short on your AnVil supply. AnVil only comes in "short."
"Do not store AnVil near women of any race or ethnicity under the age of 40, married or unmarried, and expect to find them there when you return.
"If you choose to ignore all the warnings on this label and still try to use AnVil -- then you obviously haven't been paying attention. People don't USE AnVil, he USES them."If you experience any or all of these symptoms after getting a dose of AnVil, of any size -- well . . . you're just one in 4 million.
"WELCOME TO THE DAMN CLUB!
May 14, 2008 4:34 PM
Labels: jon regardie, mayor antonio villaraigosa, Parque Esquleto
Posted by Red Spot in CD 14 @ 5/15/2008 07:19:00 AM
7 Comments:
I thought it was AnVil because he is dragging down the city as though he is an AnVil was attached to it.
Zuma, I've read Parque Esqueleto, I blogged with Parque, and I traded insults with Parque.
You're NO Parque!
(But I sure miss the 'Golden Age' of Mayor Sam's Blog when ridicule was an art form).
In keeping with the J-Lo or even A-Rod pattern it should probably be "A-Vil" instead (which sounds a LOT like "evil" don't it).
My guess is it started out that way, but Regardie's editors or lawyers, or both, wouldn't stand for that.
Too bad.
PRICELESS!!!! HILARIOUS..
THANKS FOR THE LAUGH GUYS
Huh, you're taking this all as a joke?
This is a serious branding exercise we got going here. We're burning the midnight DWP wattage.
We've just got to find something to replace the "dedicated family guy" image we created last time, before the next election.
There's nobody to pin "corruption" charges on, this time.
Can't count on any union picket lines to walk.
Payback visits from Hillary probably won't be THAT useful, by then. (He's gonna stop taking her calls any day now).
Plus, having campaign mailer pictures taken in front of the Southwest Museum is definitely out.
And this time, most voters aren't going to fall for:
1200 FAKE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCHES
(That's 80-FAKE X 15 districts for those of you who took AP math classes at LAUSD schools).
Bad news, Antonio, I'm gonna have to charge you double, maybe triple for this one. Plus I'm expecting a much bigger tip for carting all that NEW baggage around like a damn skycap.
(sigh) It's true what they say, a spinner's work is never done . . . and, that's the way we like it.
Why do I have this funny feeling this is going to end up somewhere in Walter Moore's campaign materials - or linked to his "Moore's Still Bitter" website?
Mayor Sam, you do have a copyright on anything that appears here, right?
Amen.
And don't forget, "The greenest major city in the world", Hahahaha, LOL, choke, choke, choke.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home