Selling the city
Please, call me AnVil.
You’ve gotta admit, Mayor Sam’s writers and commenters have come up with some pretty clever nicknames for our Dear Leader Antonio Villaraigosa over the years. We’ve had ADV®, VillarSalinas, and, of course, Mayor PolloVillar.Introducing: AnVil—a syllabic abbreviation you can almost envision adopted by the mainstream press—courtesy of Downtown News’ Executive Editor, Jon Regardie, who argues, “…if J Lo becomes common vocal currency, then why not?”
A standout Angeleno, Regardie doesn’t stop there, offering up a slew of potential naming rights sales opportunities for the city in these dark days of budget. Whole Foods Ninth Council District anyone? Read on.
~~~
Update: A reader suggests selling Central Los Angeles Area High School #9 naming rights to Knott's Berry Farm.
Labels: jon regardie, la downtown news, mayor antonio villaraigosa
Posted by solomon @ 5/14/2008 12:52:00 PM
43 Comments:
Disney/Pixar Council District 4
Little TJ Council District 7
How's the Mayor's adopt a tagger doing? Any word how well the Mayor's mentoring has helped this young man? You know, the one caught tagging the Mayor's bus at the bus stop relocation celebration/press conference...
In-n-Out City Hall, in honor or Villaraigosa's first and only term!
I can't wait to see his hundreds of staffers scrambling for private sector jobs, suggesting falsely on their resumes that working at city hall is like real world work. I can't wait!
Gee did you all notice how much Antonio has aged since he first started as Mayor? Damn, he's put on about 3 mil miles on his face alone.
THANK YOU ICE. But the Mayor supports these illegals who live like pigs.
....More than 60 illegal immigrants, including three toddlers, were discovered at a house in South Los Angeles early this morning by federal immigration agents serving a search warrant as part of an investigation into a human smuggling ring, authorities said.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents entered the single-family, two-story home in the 10000 block of South Normandie Avenue about 6:30 a.m.. and found 61 Central and South American immigrants crowded into the house, with trash and rotting food piled 2 to 3 feet high in each room, agency spokeswoman Virginia Kice said. The immigrants told agents that they had been staying in the home since Friday.
Higby, one of the things Regardie makes fun of most is ClearChannel's ownership of City Hall, and he thanks the "excellent" Chrstine Pelisek article in the L A Weekly. Your hero Rocky Bullwinkle and City Council's Clear Channel advocates Perry and Reyes come out the fools they are. Keep on arguing on the wrong side!
I don't know why Jill Stewart or Westside White Guy # 2 or whoever it is thinks that I am some fan of Rocky or condone anything unethical he has done (read my archives - there's sufficient amount of criticism of Rocktard from moi).
I also don't understand their irrational opposition to billboards ESPECIALLY in areas that WANT them. Don't want it in your neighborhood? Don't rent your land to them. There are many a place in the city where billboards can add to the community in many ways.
If they're opposed to Rocky or his illegal activities, fine. But don't get that kooky NIMBY disease on billboards.
Sigh, read Pelisek and Stewart again, slowly... and the other comments. Getting into the city through the back door of the ghettoes and barrios with the advocacy of the stupidest politians, is a back door toward entering the city, sort of their Trojan horse. Besides extortionists, liars and those who treat L A like the Third World town it has become, alas, and don't give it the money or respect for laws they're forced to in every other city from Dallas to Miami, shouldn't profit from the fools amongst us... among other things.
It's not the NIMBYs telling the low wattages and slum areas what to do really but the other way around in the long run...
The LED 7-story flashing billboards right on a freeway with no setback will kill someone soon, that's a separate major safety issue.
Gosh durn it, I don't know how Regardie found out about the branding plan, but so be it.
But, as with the similar sounding "Advil" we realize that “AnVil” will need to come with a detailed, but fine-print warning label. (We’re just waiting to find out if someone has to recite it very quickly in low tones under future campaigns ads or just during "state of the city" speeches?)
Here's the draft so far:
AnVil (generic name: Tony Villar)
"AnVil is a overly ambitious, underachieving career politician (OAU-CP). For more information, see:
80 FAKE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCHES
"AnVil may cause an increased and non-reversable drain on your already stressed belief in elected officials, and - if you're taxpayer - on your wallet, but will smile big while doing it, and tell its for your own good.
"Do not swallow anything AnVil says as truth especially if you are already taking a medication that makes you dizzy while operating heavy machinery.
"If you're a city worker whose job it IS to operate heavy machinery, don't worry about that in any event. The city's unions already have AnVil in their back pocket. Nothing more will be expected of you, except to get out the vote next election day.
"For some who take AnVil with anything more than a grain of salt. Don't.
"The risk of AnVil becoming habit forming has been found to be greater if you're already lonely, and have a father fixation. Ask Mirthala.
"Do not attempt to confront AnVil with embarrassing questions and a TV camera, which may result in you being thrown to the concrete or run down by LAPD officers on security detail.
"AnVil will most likely increase your risk of developing lowered expectations in what local government can produce -- if that's possible.
"Side effects can also include a complete depletion of any left-over idealism from the golden age of so-called 'progressive' politics.
"AnVil is not a 'Latino" candidate for public office (unless he happens to be addressing a predominantly Latino audience).
"AnVil will not actually 'clean your toilets' - so don't even ask, you little troll.
"Generally speaking, do not support AnVil if honesty is government is important to you, or if you once believe any such thing was possible.
"Elderly citizens, especially those who remember when city leaders at least tried to keep their promises, may be at greater risk of never bothering to vote again.
"Side affects may occur without any warning, but the most annoying are short-lived -- just sit it out until the 30-second AnVil sound-byte fades from the nightly local TV news.
"Consult your own moral or ethical compass if you ever again consider casting votes for AnVil or any of the politicans or propositions he supports. Or, contact your mental health practitioner immediately.
"Don't be concerned if you feel you are running short on your AnVil supply. AnVil only comes in "short."
"Do not store AnVil near women of any race or ethnicity under the age of 40, married or unmarried, and expect to find them there when you return.
"If you choose to ignore all the warnings on this label and still try to use AnVil -- then you obviously haven't been paying attention. People don't USE AnVil, he USES them.
"If you experience any or all of these symptoms after getting a dose of AnVil, of any size -- well . . . you're just one in 4 million."
WELCOME TO THE DAMN CLUB!
Speaking of clubs -- considering the number of auto thefts, how about "The Club" International Airport (in Los Angeles)?
"Eli Broad City Council" (bought and paid for).
"Ready-Mix Concrete Planning Department" or - maybe better - "Otis Elevator Planning Department"
The illegal vendors could pool some money for the
"Bacon-Wrapped Hollenbeck Community Police Station"
"Winchell's Donuts LAPD" ? ?
"Miracle (Whip) Mile"
Shake-and-Bake Emergency Management Dept.
Turtle Wax Department of Transportation (goes to the "slow" angle, as well)
Geritol Dept. of Neighborhood Empowerment
Atari Information Technology Agency (not that they're THAT far behind the times).
Morongo Casino City Attorney's Office
Slogan: "Sue this city, and you'll hit the jackpot"
Damn, Pargue I wish I'd said that.
Maybe I will - somewhere else.
Department of Aging Public Works Bureau of Street Services.
Chick-Fil-A Controllers Office.
"WRECK and PARTS GIVEN TO THE AUTRY OR LEGACY LA"
Classic Parque!!
Jackie Autry Southwest Museum of the Native American Genocide
Has a nice, tinny ring to it (like the late Gene's signing voice), don'tcha think?
Ed Reyes Alcohol Beverage Control and After School Youth Center (in Lincoln Heights)
Pro Football in L.A. "MEMORIAL" Coliseum (remember when?)
Ed Reyes's Community Relocation Agency
Richard M. Nixon Ethics Commission
Cirque du Soleil City Council Public Comment period
wow this thread reminds of the good old days of mayor sam- parque esqueleto simply brilliant!!
More like "Night of the Living Dead" for public comments.
C'mon guys, this one is too freaking obvious:
"Wet 'n Wild Park at the Griffith"
Shouts to Tom LaBonge!
I'm willing to bet Caterpillar, Inc. would sponsor the Community Relocation Agency.
How about
THE
"Athens, Greece-Auckland, New Zealand-Beirut,Lebanon-Berlin,Germany-Bordeaux, France-Busan, South Korea-Eilat, Israel-Giza, Egypt-Guangzhou, China-Ischia, Italy-Jakarta, Indonesia-Kaunas, Lithuania-Lusaka, Zambia-Makati, Phillippines-Mexico City, Mexico-Mumbai, India-Nagoya, Japan-St Petersburg, Russia-Salvador, Brazil-San Salvador, El Salvador-Split, Croatia-Taipei, Taiwan-Tehran, Iran-Vancouver, Canada-Yerevan, Armenia"
EXPO CENTER AT GRIFFITH PARK...
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El Pollo Loco
LAPD Chief's Office
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The Consignment Store
City Hall
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Let's Make a Deal
Dept of Building and Safety
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Del Taco
The Office of the Mayor
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MooseHead Beer
City Attorney's Office
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It's Community REDEVELOPMENT Agency (not relocation), but actually it still works.
Pirates of the Carribean Port of Los Angeles
If Autry keeps expanding on the city's nickel, it'll soon by the "Griffith (No Place to) Park . . . or picnic, or hike, or much of anything
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PETSMART
LAUSD
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ADeeDo
DWP
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Cal Worthington Ford
CRA
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Frys Electronics
City Council
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11:10 PM OF COURSE IT IS. WE'RE TRYING TO BE FUNNY HERE.
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TidyBowl
Councilperson Janice Hahn's Office
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LegoLand
Councilperson Eric Garcetti's Office
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Waste Management
Councilperson Jose Huizar's Office
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Pick Your Part
Councilperson Ed Reyes' Office
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MiracleGro Fertilizer
Councilperson Wendy Greuel's Office
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I Love Lucy
Councilperson Richard Alarcon's Office
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Red Cross
Councilperson Bernard Park's Office
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Lost
Councilperson Tom LaBonge's Office
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Union Rescue Mission
Councilperson Jan Perry's Office
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Bug-B-Gone Insecticide
Councilperson Greig Smith's Office
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Stranger in a Strange Land
Councilperson Herb Wesson's Office
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People's Daily
Councilperson Bill Rosendahl's Office
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Dr. Mead's Snake Oil Liniment
Councilperson Jack Weiss' Office
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Brink's Home Security
Councilperson Tony Cardenas' Office
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Brought to you by an office staffer... OOPS
Councilperson Dennis Zine's Office
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