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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

ZUMA DOGG's Coastal Commission Report -- LIVE from Malibu

My name's "Zuma" Dogg for a reason. Before I migrated to Venice, I produced a public access show in Malibu, that aired seven nights a week for the past six years. Today, since I have a 4:30pm call time in Malibu for the WHITESTARR reality show, video shoot -- I am spending my day, boucing around Malibu wi-fi spots along Pacific Coast Highway. And here are two items regarding Zuma Dogg's favorite coast, and favorite place to park his van.

COUNTY TO SPEND $1 MILLION FOR OCEAN DNA TEST: Polution levels in the Pacific Ocean, all along the coast is disgustingly and unsafely polluted, especially in Malibu, and Zuma Dogg and his hang-ten homies might catch an ear infection or die from the "waste". And the DNA Grissom will testing, is to see whether it is waste from animals, or millionaires.

You see, there are living things that swim around in the ocean, out there...but it seem ponderous, f*cking ponderous that dolphins could be creating so much pollution. So some people say, it could be from them millionaires' fancy masions that may be spewing their septic waste straight into the ocean, since Malibu doesn't have a waste treatment plant.

So tell Brass to stand by. The county is about to come down on these millionaire toxic waste dumpers. And doesn't former Mayor and School takeover founder, Richard Riorend live in Malibu, in the heart of the toxicity? Hope he can step in to help solve any problems, should CSI find the rich and famous, "GUILTY" of toxic waste dumping from the toilets our Mayor's supporters work so hard to clean.

DON'T BUILD THAT F*CKING NATURAL GAS REFINERY 3 MILES OUT ON THE OCEAN: First of all, 3 miles is a bad number, cause it reminds people of 3 mile island. And this is just as big of a disaster, waiting to happen, if Pierce Brosnan, Zuma Dogg and Darryl Hannah can't stop it.

They want to ship in natural gas from overseas (even though there is an abundant supply, here in America) -- then store it in a big refinery 3 miles off the shore of Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu/Ventura County area. BUT THEY AREN'T JUST STORING IT, THEY ARE PROCESSING IT LIKE A METH FACTORY CREATES METH. Here's the rundown:

First, they take PERFECTLY good natural gas, that is cheaper and burns cleaner than other sources. Cool! BUT FIRST, they want to freeze the overseas supply of natural gas, to turn it into liquid. (I guess it's easier to store it that way, cause it's more condensed. That's the only thing I could think of.) Then they store it. THEN, when they want to use it;

THEY HAVE TO HEAT IT BACK UP TO TURN IT BACK TO NATURAL GAS. (Like freezed dried ramen noodles ZD lives off.)
ONLY ONE PROBLEM, Y'ALL!!! When you start to using "heat" and "gas" together, that becomes a volitile situation, y'all.

All it takes is one little "O" ring to break a seal, and they gonna get a fireworks display in Malibu, bigger than Barbara Striesand's yearly 4th of July shoot-off!!! Plus, what if some mischievous pirate wants to blow it up. It's easily accessable -- all the wrong person would have to do is crash a boat into it.

PLUS: The BIG thing they keep telling these Malibu superstars protesting the situation, is "don't worry, y'all...it's all done in the ocean, far, far away. EXCEPT ONE PROBLEM, Y'ALL...If it's stuck way out in the ocean, that means you are gonna be running pipes. And those pipes are gonna lead back to an on-land storage facility. Now who would want one of those near THEIR house. I know Zuma Dogg don't want it near his van...Oh, I have an idea...Let's put the gas holders near the person's house who came up with this bright idea. (Hopefully not too bright, as in mushroom cloud explosion bright.)

Cause all it would take is one of them little "O" rings to crack and it's, "goodbye wildlife and no more surfing in the Bu, y'all -- and THAT, would TRULY be a TERRIBLE day for the City of Los Aneles.

So you gotta aks yourself, "Why would someone want to take perfectly useable natural gas, convert it to liquid, then go through the risky process of heating it back up and converting it back?

It costs a lot of money to freeze it down to liquid and convert it back to it's orignal form. So who would want to spend extra money for that? How about the people who came up with the technology for this process. I mean, after all, why create a technology if we can't make money using it? So they lobbied harder than ZD lobbied about Prop. H -- and they may get this endangered speicies act worst nightmare of a project above water. Hope it's worth the environmental and security risks. It's not like you can't just use the sh*t in it's natural (gas) form, y'all.

What's up with this, y'all. Did ZD get spun by a Malibu local, or is he right as hell? Comments please. And now, it's time to log off the wi-fi and drive down the coast a couple minutes for my 4:30pm call time. TRIUMPHANTNESS, Y'ALL!

BONUS VIDEO: The Venice Outlaws, One Year Anniversary Re-Cap, produced by guitar legend, Matt "Pacific Breeze Back on the Boardwalk" Dowd. Matt, if this reality pilot doesn't come through, maybe you can take your Venice Beach lawsuit money and produce a show for us!!!

(Coming after the video shoot: ZUMA DOGG POSTS THE JUDGE'S PRELIMINARY RULING!!! (Companion to this video.)

23 Comments:

Anonymous Matt Dowd said:

Bill says it....the chief financial officer said he was fuckin nuts...I wonder if Laura Chick's gonna be thinkin the same when this Venice BS is all done with

March 28, 2007 3:32 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I thought Riordan lives in Brentwood???

March 28, 2007 4:28 PM  

Anonymous mickey_finn said:

Eat LOTS of beans... then there's no reason to import "natural" gas!

March 28, 2007 5:04 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

riorend lives in the bu, too. many folks have second homes in malibu.

matt, i'm sitting high a top malibu in one of the nicest pieces of property with FULL view of PCH and the ocean from both directions. And I just drove from Corral Canyon/Union 76 station down PCH with FULL POLICE ESCORT as ZD commented on Malibu, celebrities, the band WHITESTARR, whose show it is, for VH1 -- AND got to slam Van Nuys and Wendy Greuel, cause the guitarst said he lives in Van Nuys, so that set me off...

Anyway, maybe I won't be in City Hall as much, cause I'm gonna start shooting segments, soon.
MATT -- YOU KNOW I WANNA GET YOU ON MY FIRST SHOOT, IF POSSIBLE TO BUST OUT THE RED FENDER. That's happening pretty soon. Stand by. Then of course we'll shoot at Venice. Maybe THAT'S what we'll do....I stroll down Venice, bump into you playing on the beach side, and we'll bust out a tune and slam Councilmembers and Shadyaigrosa on camera for fucking up Venice, only to have their ass beat by Dowd!

March 28, 2007 5:42 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Anything that gets you clowns off of this blog, out of City Hall and annoying someone else would be an improvement.

March 28, 2007 7:37 PM  

Anonymous Matt Dowd said:

thanks for confirming our effectiveness. just like lucille ball, gilligan, and jerry lewis. annoying household names.
lmao
zuma dogg and matt dowd
mwhahahahaha

March 28, 2007 7:45 PM  

Anonymous Matt Dowd said:

oh 7.37 ...the 'of' is completely superfluous, like your comment.
you can just say " ...gets you clowns off this blog"

hmmm... city hall and the blog....or....a career in TV...

[shrill voice]
"byyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

March 28, 2007 7:51 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

OH MY GOSH...You think the ZD reality show is gonna get ZD & Dowd OUT of City Hall...LOL!

The producers LOVE the political activist story -- the FIRST thing we're gonna shoot is inside City Hall Council meetings -- and start doing things with a national reality show budget -- and the administrative backing of a major production company to get stuff done for ZD. OH NO -- THIS IS GONNA BE HUGE!!!

March 28, 2007 8:02 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

OK, here's the scoop:

ZD and matt Dowd are twins, separated at birth.

Let's hope their new union keeps them in the bu and out of our City Hall and our blog.

Aloha, A Holes.

March 28, 2007 8:27 PM  

Anonymous Marilyn Chambers said:

8:27

That can't be because Matt is circumcised, Zuma is not. I know

March 28, 2007 8:41 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Marilyn:

It was before the eighth day that Gypsies stole little ZD and cast an evil spell upon him.

He has been brain addled ever since.

The thing is, he's hijacked this sblog, which used to be fun and is now boooring, boooring, boooring.

Higby has blown it. Literally and figuratively.

March 28, 2007 9:14 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

March 28, 2007 11:52 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

March 29, 2007 12:37 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

March 29, 2007 6:33 AM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

vuaHow sad. All 100% false as it pertains to me --aka: "Zuma Dogg".

But thanks for the complement...if you are now resorting to this bullsh*t, you must be really running scared, or even more jealous than ever -- and realize you can no longer win on the issues.

You would think I would want to delete this so people wouldn't see it. But I WANT them to see how desparate people are getting.

By the way, it's "Elliott", not "Elliot". So now go make up some sh*t with 2 "t's".

And 7:11am says, "Maybe with all the two and three minute segments we'll gain, our council can actually get some things done at the meetings."

[So you're blaming ME for Council not getting anything done. WOW! That's rationale. No wonder you are always so angry. You suffer from delusion and paranoia and overall, just don't seem that smart. Oh well, that's why some are official contributors and are writing for major publications -- and YOU simply comment about ME, your hero -- the BIG ZD from City TV.

March 29, 2007 8:52 AM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

Oh! I see you say it's an extraditable offense.

GREAT! tell me where and when to show up, and have the police there ready to extradite me. i'll show up anytime, anywhere.

March 29, 2007 8:58 AM  

Anonymous manhattan beach mongrel said:

11:52 pm - This information is apparently fake. I notice there is no URL to support your allegations - anyone with too much time on their hands can create phony information such as this.

I suggest to my fellow bloggers that this is the same idiot (11:52) who cut and pasted one sentence or phrase and repeated them 100 times or so on earlier threads.

March 29, 2007 1:01 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

1:01pm,

Intersting you think that. We KNOW who that person was. (yes, we DO.) So if you feel it is the same person, well now we're talking jail time for HIM over the matter. I wouldn't be happy about that. It would be sad. But that's why people need to be locked up...because they can't help themselves.

This is funny, though. Defeated loser said...(In response to ZD saying it's fake B.S.) "But all the defendants say they are innocent, you know."

Bro, are you kidding. I mean, ha ha...you made up that funny fake police report stuff...and it's good far a laugh...but you're actually defending it, and are trying to roll with it, and continue with it...LOL!

And you think people are believing you...You have terrible instincts and they don't serve you well. you will never be a leader, able to progress your agenda, whatever that may be.

"Is a dream a lie, if it don't come true...Or is it something worse." - Bruce Springsteen

Man, it hurts when you come to the realization you are never going to achieve your dream. The bus has left the station, and you have to settle for the rung you are stuck on. Of course, most others reading this don't suffer from that fear based thinking and don't have to create all these false dreams and projections to keep themselves content.

Most of us here on the blog, just wake up and enjoy the comforts that each of our own unique talents provide us.

And then one day you find, ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun." -Pink Floyd

Don't stop living your life, just because you are annoyed by ZD. It's not a zero sum gain. It's not like YOU can't get your game on, just because ZD is blowing up locally, and now nationally.

You wouldn't want to do what it takes to create what ZD has created. Be happy you AREN'T ZD, because I'm sure you would be the FIRST to admit you would never want to be ZD -- and be YOU -- and start doing some things that inspire others. And defending false bullsh*t that everyone sees through does not inspire any one but a fellow loser. So if you're trying to have a "Dungeons & Dragons" reunion party, you're on your way.

March 29, 2007 1:24 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Truly, the thought of ZD being extradited to Ohio was a bit delectable, but frankly, his absence would have brought an overwhelming void to bloggers who delight in torturing him.

So, I'm sort of glad the rap sheet was a phony. I would never have done it myself. In retrospect, it was a mean thing to do, and the person who did it should feel really bad.

No, ZD, this doesn't mean I'm on your side. I'm for right and wrong, and you are mostly a wrong guy, but you are in the right on this one.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then...

March 29, 2007 4:38 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

Thanks 4:38pm!

March 29, 2007 5:01 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such language is hardly appropriate in the presence of a lady. Please keep it clean.

You know, Zuma Pussy, that a great wit once said "If it were not for my bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."

Think of all these derogatory comments as your bad luck; without them, there'd be no comments at all.

March 29, 2007 6:51 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

who cares whether there are comments, or not?

It's about the story being posted on the main thread for the google searches and blog feeds.

How about this, I'll simply put all ZD threads on "no comments allowed". But then you would cry. So I'll leave it, as is...and you can keep showing the others who read this comment section how degenerate you are, in the truest sense of the word.

March 29, 2007 7:14 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

Besides, i don't judge the importance of a story by the number of comments, anymore than I judge the qualtiy of a movie by it's weekend box office, or a CD by it's chart position. Some stories are naturally gonna trigger more comments than others. For example, LAUSD NEVER gets many comments, no matter how important. As opposed to anything regarding CD 14 that seems to tigger record number of comments. Does that mean people should only cover CD 14, and ignore LAUSD and other important issues, because they aren't as explosive?

A defeated, crybaby, non-participating loser would think so.

March 29, 2007 7:18 PM  

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