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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Wednesday Soap Box

Well, it appears Sam's internet connection has Comcasticized. So it falls upon yours truly to put out the Wednesay soapbox, at 5:30 a.m., with just have a cup of Joe done so far. How does "Java" become "Joe?" Also, when did they start making soapboxes out of cardboard? In how many more years will that whole "soapbox" expression not make sense to people?

Okay, so the San Francisco City Council has apparently voted to ban plastic bags that cannot be recycled. Anyhow, Mayor Newsome -- insert back-stabbing punchline here -- is expected to sign it. Good for them. Why do we need non-recyclable bags? Even better, however, would be to charge separately for bags, to encourage people to bring their own.

Santa Ana school officials, in order to get more funding from the state (over $1000 per student), simply made up a classroom full of imaginary friends. Faux students are well-behaved, lucrative students.

Speaking of education, the L.A. Times reports that state regulations "require schools to make measurable progress toward closing the gap between whites and lower-achieving minority students." You know that's a dangerous way to word a standard, because it gives you three different ways to achieve the goal: i) focus on bringing up the scores of the "lower-achieving minority students;" ii) kick out the highest-achieving students, because that would "close the gap;" and/or iii) kick out the lowest-achieving students, which would have the same effect. Hey, I've got it! Pull a "Santa Ana," and simply make up a class full of brainiacs to boost scores!

About those scores: the Daily News reports that the LAUSD's scores on the state's Academic Performance Index hit a new high! Just kidding. They hit a new LOW, of course. Down 20 points in high school, from 622 to 602 -- on a scale of 200 to 1000! Yikes! Welcome to the factory where tomorrow's residents are made!

Villaraigosa and half of City Hall are in D.C., supposedly fighting to get us more money. Yeah, right. You notice how none of these trips ever requires going somewhere when the weather's crummy? Springtime in Washington is beautiful, thanks largely to Japan for giving us a jillion -- okay, 3000 -- cherry trees in 1912. Anyone know why they did that? Anyone? Anyone?

Here's the funniest line from the Daily News story on the boondoggle trip: "Meanwhile, Greuel traveled the halls with a copy of a recent report showing the value of goods shipped through the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach to every congressional district in the nation."

Okay, I've got people to sue and contributions to solicit. You're on your own. Blog 'em if you got 'em.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I think I just realized why the LAUSD is so fubar'd.

1)illegal immigration from Latin America

2) Hispanics have lots of babies

3) Hispanics have a strong tendency towards academic underachievement

Did I miss anything?

March 28, 2007 5:58 AM  

Blogger Walter Moore said:

1) Complete lack of discipline, allowing juvenile delinquents to deprive good students of an education;
2) Too high an administrators-to-teachers ratio, resulting in wasted resources and unnecessarily large class sizes;
3) Lack of security (stabbing, shooting, etc.);
4) Mismanagement permeating system (e.g., adapting system to "other cultures," rather than teaching students from other cultures to adapt to ours);
5) Parents have no ability influence anything, except by taking their kids out of the LAUSD and paying for private school;
6) Probably about 25 other things.

March 28, 2007 6:09 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Walter,

But how many of those 6+25 things can be traced in large part back to the three aforementioned (primary) factors?

Do you think things would be nearly this bad if it were Singaporeans or Greeks or Finns that were flooding across the border?

March 28, 2007 6:35 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

When will the LA politicians realize they are the joke of the nation??. They are the biggest group of clowns who are known more for their stupidity then leaders of the 2nd largest city in the nation. There's a reality tv show with them. I hope a reporter finds out how much was spent taking into account money not having clowncil meetings as well.

March 28, 2007 7:48 AM  

Blogger Mayor Sam said:

Actually Walter it's not the internet connection - I don't want to give the folks at Time Warner in which I own stock any black marks they don't deserve.

Mayor Sam was undercover last night at a local community meeting dealing with a major high-density commercial and residential development, the kind this old, dead Republican mayor has been known to like but ZD tends to rail against.

The meeting was very interesting. More later.

March 28, 2007 8:31 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

TOO BAD FOR BITTER BERNIE

Apparently the NFL has grown weary of this annual fantasty too, because it has dropped any discussion of L.A. from its annual meetings. There simply is no practical place to put an NFL team in L.A...The Coliseum has no luxury boxes and inadequate parking...This year, though, for the first time in more than 10 years, the NFL owners will forego the annual charade of pretending to consider L.A. Discussion of an L.A. franchise isn't even on the agenda any more.

March 28, 2007 8:47 AM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

Walter/6:09am,

Good 1-6!!! How about some other folks commenting on some of the remaining "25 other things" Walter suggests.

7:48am said..."There's a reality tv show with them (Council). Yes, it's called "Zuma Dogg Fights City Hall". ZD HAS had an in person meeting with the production team who wants to produce the ZD reality show. (Following ZD vs City Hall and the making of his Public Access Show.) SO GET READY FOR BIGGER CAMERAS AT CITY HALL...But it won't be for a while...probably won't even air (if it does) until around elections.

Sam: Huh...huh...huh, OH NO, not more of those shady high density, mixed used projects. I'll bet my pay pal donations vs Garcetti's campaign contributions this project probably wouldn't be allowed to happen, if Council was following Charter Law, as they are legally required to.

So, Mayor Sam...Since I have a 4:30pm call time to shoot a segment for the WHITESTARR reality show on VH1 (since word has gotten out that ZD is the hottest public advocate hip hop rapper justin timberlake dancing bee gees singing superstar in the fifteen districts and the entire SCAG region),

I may not have time to hit the ethics commission web site to check expense reports and contributions. And I won't be able to check the EIR reports, and see what shady zoning changes were blown past the constituents like a shady spit ball. MATT DOWD, CAPT. JACK, OTHERS -- can you please check it out, y'all...

8:47am: GOOD. I'm glad NFL isn't even gonna consider LA (if that is the case). That way we will save a bunch of schmooze money and wasted money on banners and all the things the city does to put a spit shine on the City...only to not even have a chance in the first place, because you don't have to sleep in your van and cut segments for reality shows today at 4pm to see the City doesn't have the proper infrastructure to accomodate NFL, Olympic, High Density Downtown projects, or any other pie in the sky illusions of grandure.

Sorry kiddies...ZD loves high density Cities like NYC/Chicago/SF and whatnot. But unfortunately, when a lot of the infrastructure (including things like transformers, water pipes, side streets, highways, schools) was being planned and zoned for, 50 years ago, or whatever, they didn't plan on the population explosion that we are experiencing.

I wanted to be a porn start, but I wasn't built with the proper infrastructure --

Similarly, L.A. wants to be a high-density City, but THEY weren't built with the proper infrastructure.

The City always does it backwards. Build the luxury condos FIRST -- get rid of the homeless SECOND. Allow for all the high density FIRST, build the highways and schools and hire the cops, SECOND.

But the City doesn't seem to be able to get the SECOND part done, after we allow them to do the FIRST part. (Yes, ALLOW -- you are ELECTED officials.)

DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE END OF THAT PINK FLOYD SONG? "You can't have any pudding, till you finish your meat! HOW can you have any pudding, if you DON'T eat your meat?!?!? Huh...Don't kick your feet!"

So the official Legislative Review from Inspector General Zuma Dogg on all them high-density, mix-bamboozle projects -- and all them cherries ontop like NFL and Olympics and billions spent on fantasy pie-in-the-sky fantasy B.S. projects is:

Fix all that shit first...then you can start adding on all those cherries on top. Can't watch ZD on YouTube till you finished your homework and someone has checked it for you (like a mom or dad or guardian) -- and you can't build these gentrifying monstrosities, with shady contributions making all Charter law go up in smoke, like ZD's Prop. 215 "recommendation."

(They don't call it "prescription", they call it a "recommendation", cause a prescrption means "drug" -- so you can't call it that, since weed aint' a drug y'all -- you hear that Bill O'Reilly?)

AND REMEMBER, MARK GERMAIN (formerly the beloved Southern California Icon known as "Mr. KABC") is still a beloved icon, heard TODAY (and every weekday) from 3pm-7p on K-Talk AM 1150.

Check him out, y'all...and ZD calls in during the 6p hour, alot. (But probably not today, cause I got a 4:30pm call time.)

And finally, I'll leave you with this quote from one of ZD's role models...this guy I met in the Valley one time, named Jules: "SAY 'what' again!"

March 28, 2007 10:10 AM  

Anonymous Marilyn Chambers said:

10:10

That wasn't why you're not in porn Zuma. It was because you're not Kosher down there! (Not circumcised)

March 28, 2007 12:50 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

MARYLIN, YOU S***, I aksed you not to tell anyone!!!

March 28, 2007 2:13 PM  

Anonymous Matt Dowd said:

I just found Zuma Dogg's evil alien twin, on YouTube.
we're lucky we got ZD, because there are other options as you can see.

March 28, 2007 3:01 PM  

Anonymous Marilyn Chambers said:

2:13

Zuma Dogggg,

I know I suck. That is why I'm a porn legend! But I wouldn't touch you since your pecker looks like an anteater.

Go to the doctor and trim that foreskin, it's so not sexy.

March 28, 2007 3:34 PM  

Anonymous stephen c. foster said:

Back on topic...

The LAUSD needs to be split up into small districts made up of the following:

1 continuation school
2 high schools
4 junior high schools
6 elementary schools
8 pre-school/kindergartens.

1 administrator (not counting school principals) per 10 credentialed teachers (non-credentialed teachers and teachers aides cannot be included).

If a student has lack of discipline, send them to continuation school.

Some of the subject matter should include: English Grammar, Mathematics, Spelling, History (American), Health, Physical Education, Civics, and Science.

These subjects were taught to me whilst I was in grade school and high school; why should today's students be taught differently?

March 28, 2007 5:18 PM  

Anonymous Matt Dowd said:

here's why: the world changed since we were in school.
I say the emphasis should be on vocational guidance, find out early what kids love to do, and guide them to achieving that, with APPROPRIATE subject matter. lets not condemn a talented artistic individual to failure by insisting he study algebra and science for instance.
Its the one thing badly lacking that I remember from school, I learned so much crap I never need, and I never got to fulfill what I really wanted because I was too busy fulfilling everyone else's expectations within the 'system'.

kids need to be happy, encouraged, and informed. they need to be career counseled early, its paramount to any long term success.
i.e. out of a gang
That's what i say.

March 28, 2007 8:03 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

ZUMA DOGG... SAY IT AINT SO MAN!!!

Jurisdiction OH
Id No CHOO930127CCDEF00001
Last Name ELLIOT
First Name DAVE
Middle Name N/R
Race / Sex W/M
Date of Birth N/R
Known Alias: Zuma Dog
Detail Charges Found for Record ID: CHOO930127CCDEF00001
Category Criminal 199447856
Source ohaoc
Charges Filed Date N/R
Offense Date N/R
Offense Code N/R
NCIC Code N/R
Offense Desc1 Unspecified Offense
Offense Desc2 N/R
Counts N/R
Plea N/R
Conviction Date N/R
Conviction Place N/R
Sentence Date N/R
Probation Date N/R
Photo Name N/R
Court N/R
Disposition N/R
Disposition Date N/R

Case Details for search: 324549 Client reference:
Last Name ELLIOT
First Name DAVE
Middle Name N/R
Race / Sex W/M
Date of Birth N/R
Known Alias: Zuma Dog
Detail Charges Found for Record ID: 324549
Category Criminal 807639
Source ohaoc
Charges Filed Date 09/20/1993
Offense Date ASSAULT-4TH DEGREE
Offense Code AS11.41.230(A)(1)
NCIC Code N/R
Offense Desc1 Unspecified Offense
Offense Desc2 N/R
Counts N/R
Plea N/R
Conviction Date N/R
Conviction Place N/R
Sentence Date N/R
Probation Date N/R
Photo Name N/R
Court N/R
Disposition CONVICTION 90 DAYS SUSPENDED
Disposition Date N/R

Case Details for search: 01850SURRY 1995CR 001016 Client reference:
Last Name ELLIOT
First Name DAVE
Middle Name N/R
Race / Sex W/M
Date of Birth N/R
Known Alias: Zuma Dogg, David Elliott, Dave Eliot
Detail Charges Found for Record ID: 01850SURRY 1995CR 001016
Category Criminal 261492341
Source ohaoc
Charges Filed Date N/R
Offense Date N/R
Offense Code 5450
NCIC Code N/R
Offense Desc1 SPEEDING 091/65
Offense Desc2 FAILURE TO YIELD
Offense Desc3 ASSAULT/PEACE OFFICER
Counts N/R
Plea GUILTY
Conviction Date N/R
Conviction Place N/R
Sentence Date 2000
Probation Date 62003
Photo Name N/R
Court N/R
Disposition 90 DAYS C/J-SUSP-3 YR PROB
Disposition Date 20030301
Court Costs N/R
Arresting Agency CPD
Case Type N/R
Fines 05075C

Case Details for search: 0769230 Client reference:
Last Name ELLIOT
First Name DAVE
Middle Name N/R
Race / Sex W/M
Date of Birth N/R
Known Alias: Zuma Dog
Detail Charges Found for Record ID: 0769230
Category Criminal 70125918 Source ohdocSuperView
Charges Filed Date N/R
Offense Date N/R
Offense Code N/R
NCIC Code N/R
Offense Desc1 DWI LEVEL 5
Offense Desc2 ATTEMPT SEXUAL ASSAULT
Offense Desc3 POSSESS DRUG PARAPHERNALIA
Offense Desc4 VAGRANCY
Counts N/R
Plea N/R
Conviction Date N/R
Conviction Place N/R
Sentence Date N/R
Probation Date N/R
Photo Name N/R
Court N/R
Disposition BENCH WARRANT ISSUED/BAIL REVOKED
Disposition Date N/R
Court Costs N/R
Arresting Agency N/R
Case Type N/R
Fines N/R


NOTES: WARRANT ACTIVE. WILL EXTRADITE FROM REGION(S) 2, 3, 4, 5. CONTACT OH STATE POLICE FUGITIVE DIVISION VIA TELETYPE OR PHONE FOR WARRANT VERIFICATION.

---end search--

March 28, 2007 11:54 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Hidie Ho; off to Ohio, we will go!!! Hello Columbus...

Don't forget to write from state prison in Ohio, ZD.

You can shoot your videos there and use their free wifi and eat their shrimp for free.

Better call Walter Moore to spring you.

March 29, 2007 12:50 AM  

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