Great second day of 2011! (Did some ass promise this on Friday? Most likely having issues with disclosure like Councilman Huizar)
After trolling and partaking from the expansive growth industry of liquor establishments in Boyle Heights (thanks to the supportive efforts of CD 14 Councilman Jose Huizar), we bring to you our collective "brown bag wrapped" 2010 Los Angeles Political Ass Clown Awards.
Please disregard Councilman Huizar's $75,000 reward for information on our alleged award committee's conclave at Oscar's Bar next to the Mercado on First Street. Note that our activities were no way connected to a Huizar Family member, unlike a past $75,000 reward that provoked speculation.
So with no further ado's, or "cease and desist orders" from Stephen Kaufman
, our brown bags are ready with the 2010 award winners. **
Awards presenters come courtesy of the "Former CD 14 Staffers Society and past cheap dates of Councilman Dennis Zine.
Community Vendido y Vendida Ass Clown Duo for 2010:
Ladies Man, errr, Ass Clown Award for 2010:
Presiding Ass Clown Union Thug for 2010:
Councilman Jose Huizar's messenger of choice and Jose Aguilar's lunch partner Ana Cubas. ** Notice strain on Cubas.
Best Warm Up by Designated Political Staff Ass Clown:
When your politico boss can't mustard the courage to confront controversial political issues, they send in the political version of the rodeo clown to divert the bull from reaming your politico's rear end. When CD 14's "Tricky Huizzy' needed political cover to distract attention from the CLARTS Fund debacle, who us but Chief of Staff Ana Cubas was his designated choice to woo critics with lunch dates at the Tepayacs and with empty presentations at neighborhood council meetings
Political Reincarnation Ass Clown of 2010:
This payaso was well known for the "union-bent" in his political theatrics. But call it a "mid-life political crisis", mixed with a possible name change in 2013, has bought about a "political costume change" that the likes of UTLA gives a "U grade" for "U sold out". Yet, whatever political payaso incarnation the former Tony Villar makes in the next couple of years, two things will always stay the same. First, someone will pay for the clown suit (Keith Brackpool, Ari Swiller?). Second and last, Mike Trujillo will have time to drive him to his next political gig.
Community Speech be Damned Ass Clown Award:
Medically Prescribe Political Ass Clown of 201o:
Can we simply say that Councilman Ed Reyes multi-year presiding over the City of Los Angeles City Council efforts to bring order to the Medical Marijuana issue, is worthy of this award?
Ivy League Political Ass Clown Award for 2010:
Did you know that Princeton University produces political payasos? If you are "in the know in CD 14", then you would have knowledge that both Councilman Jose Huizar and his Chief of Staff Ana Cubas are Princeton grads. Seeing this duo juggle the facts on the CLARTS Fund and clown the Public Records Act with their grayish commitment to transparency, one wonders if someday this duo will give a performance to either, future Princeton grads or a legal audience?
HaHa!! I qualify for the 2010 Ass Clown Awards in two council districts"
Duo Political Persona Ass Clown of 2010:
Thanks to some homeless swatter and the magic of DWP billing, we found that this Zorro Marxist political payaso splits his time in duo locals. By day he entertains on behalf of his elected audience in Clouncil District 7. At night this "payaso of the people" retreats to his dacha within the exclusive domain of Clowncil District 2. If the DWP bills don't lie, this payaso may take his gig to a twin tower near you.
** Grand Ass Political Payaso of 2010:
Ass Clowns selections come with consequences and this selection may unleash a dreaded cyber masses of groupies. They pounce on "Duh's mijo" utterances as the truth. Write a post on their leader that sheds the light on his past dubious dealings and moderation becomes epic exercises in cyberthreats. Post documents that expose their leaders links to questionable associates, then beware of the coming scorched-earth retaliation. No amount of reality will deter these fanatics from accepting as truth, only the spoken or written word of "the Gatto". Thus, we present this award to Mike Gatto and the Gatto Truthers.
Scott Johnson in CD 14
Labels: 2010 Ass Clown Awards