Jack Hoff (Almost) Meets Billy Blanks
This was in my favorite section of the Daily News yesterday. It's that "Around the Valley" column. For me, any reading material labeled "Around the..." is almost sure to have something JackHoffian within.
This is the item verbatim:
(source: Daily News 3/22/08)
AROUND THE VALLEY - Van Nuys
Blanks, Cardenas to teach self-defense
Celebrity trainer Billy Blanks, creator of the Tae Bo workout, will join City Councilman Tony Cardenas, who became interested in self-defense after a female staff member was kidnapped and freed herself, today in teaching a self-defense workshop for both men and women. The free session runs from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. in Delano Park, 15100 Erwin St., Van Nuys.
The item ran Saturday morning for an event that was scheduled for, uhm, Saturday morning and I missed it.
But, I still find this "Self-Defense with Blanks & Cardenas" concept interesting -- and I do have just a couple of questions:
So, if I'm abducted, is the idea here to get my captors to start doing Tae Bo?
Or if I do Tae Bo in front of my captors, are you saying they will free me?
What if my captors don't have the Tae Bo DVD's...what should I do then?
Hey, if I'm abducted, how long do I have to warm up before I can free myself?
Should I invite my captors to do Tae Bo with me in the hope that they will suffer cardiac arrest and die within the first 20 minutes?
From the writing, I'm still unclear as to who kidnapped whom -- did Cardenas' staffer free herself from...Cardenas (??) and that's why he's interested in self-defense?
Did the staffer know Tae Bo?
HellifIknow...it sounds like an interesting story -- and, frankly, a rather "big" story, but I couldn't find anything about it through Google....maybe it happened pre-internet...
As to the headline, since when did Cardenas "teach" self-defense anyway?
Last I heard, he had "Get out of my face!" down pretty well, but that was when confronted by a miniature City Controller weighing in at about 67 lbs.
JH Addendum:
Tony, I'm just having fun at your expense, but in all seriousness, this city needs "group" defense, not self-defense.
And you know which "group" I'm talking about.
Onward, brother, come on, let's get this done!
This is the item verbatim:
(source: Daily News 3/22/08)
AROUND THE VALLEY - Van Nuys
Blanks, Cardenas to teach self-defense
Celebrity trainer Billy Blanks, creator of the Tae Bo workout, will join City Councilman Tony Cardenas, who became interested in self-defense after a female staff member was kidnapped and freed herself, today in teaching a self-defense workshop for both men and women. The free session runs from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. in Delano Park, 15100 Erwin St., Van Nuys.
The item ran Saturday morning for an event that was scheduled for, uhm, Saturday morning and I missed it.
But, I still find this "Self-Defense with Blanks & Cardenas" concept interesting -- and I do have just a couple of questions:
So, if I'm abducted, is the idea here to get my captors to start doing Tae Bo?
Or if I do Tae Bo in front of my captors, are you saying they will free me?
What if my captors don't have the Tae Bo DVD's...what should I do then?
Hey, if I'm abducted, how long do I have to warm up before I can free myself?
Should I invite my captors to do Tae Bo with me in the hope that they will suffer cardiac arrest and die within the first 20 minutes?
From the writing, I'm still unclear as to who kidnapped whom -- did Cardenas' staffer free herself from...Cardenas (??) and that's why he's interested in self-defense?
Did the staffer know Tae Bo?
HellifIknow...it sounds like an interesting story -- and, frankly, a rather "big" story, but I couldn't find anything about it through Google....maybe it happened pre-internet...
As to the headline, since when did Cardenas "teach" self-defense anyway?
Last I heard, he had "Get out of my face!" down pretty well, but that was when confronted by a miniature City Controller weighing in at about 67 lbs.
JH Addendum:
Tony, I'm just having fun at your expense, but in all seriousness, this city needs "group" defense, not self-defense.
And you know which "group" I'm talking about.
Onward, brother, come on, let's get this done!
Labels: billy blanks, jack hoff, tae bo, tony cardenas
Posted by Anonymous @ 3/23/2008 05:11:00 PM
17 Comments:
Who gets more hits TaeBo's Billy Blanks or Zuma Dogg's daily blog?
I really enjoy Mayor Sam's blog, I get all the latest impotent L.A. news.
Jack Hoff, don't look now, but I'm pretty sure Master Baiter is in love with you. Dude posts on every thread of yours.
The Master Baiter and Jack Hoff obviously have something in common.
They're gay?
Master Baiter is defintley gay. Hoff is married.
Does anybody know if Billy Blanks is gay, he has a nice black body.
Don Quixote
10:08
They're not mutually exclusive... just as that "married" congressman signaling you with his wandering show under the bathroom stall wall.
This is the best thing I have ever seen! http://www.spymac.com/details/?2353445
Trust me...
Jack's not gay!
Didn't this blog used to be a lot better? Now it's Mayor Scam's Clown and Cartoon Blog. I thought this blog used to be in the top 10. Guess Mr. Big Shot Hoff ain't all he's cracked up to be. I don't even think I need to check in once a day anymore. What's the point? There isn't one here anymore.
"I don't even think I need to check in once a day anymore."
Hey, we're just trying to make YOU more productive.
Jack Hoff has inspired so many great comments. Jack keep up the great work.
Jack Hoff is Jack Hoff's biggest fan.
That's why his screen name is synonymous with "self-abuse."
Ouch, that hurt....
yeah, Tae Bo is to self-defense what comic opera is to ballet. Usually a bunch of chicks trying to get tight bums and arms, can't see it for self- defense. The classes taught by his studio people are boot camps -- what bugs me is, their instructors run around and scream at your and egg you on but don't do the whole class themselves. They have some assistant doing it, and just scream. Maybe that's it, you just scream at your abductor and let out a back-kick and turn and punch?
So Jack Hoff has the hots for Billy Blanks AND Janice Hahn? No wonder he makes up silly cartoons all day.
Look, don't get me wrong, I think Billy Blanks is an attractive man, but I never said I had the hots for him! At best, it would be a mild crush...
Janice Hahn, on the other hand, has a high "hug-ability factor" which I rather enjoy in a councilmember. This city would be a much better place to live if all the electeds gave us hugs and wore their bathing suits more often...
As far as the "silly cartoons" crack, it may appear that way to the uneducated eye, but I prefer calling my work "post-modernism."
Thank you. You may continue with your silly comments.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home