Captain Jack, Chapman and the rest of the crew. This is for you
Late this evening, I was advised by a "long time observer and contributor" of Mayor Sam. That tomorrow, September 19, is international, talk like a "Pirate Day". Saavy ??
And in honor of this special day, we in the immortal words of the late John Belushi, endorsed by "WESTSIDE COUNCILMAN", Billy Rosendahl, exclaimed. "ARR, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE PIRATE SHIP, "RAGING QUEEN". TELL ME, ARE THEIR ANY MEN ABOARD YOUR SHIP ? SAAVY...
Yes, in the theme of all things diverst, "INTERNATIONAL PIRATE DAY" can be celebrated by all "DIVERST PIRATES", arrrr. From "CLOWNCIL PIRATES", who wish to reap the spoils from the "PERSONAL TOILS OF ANGELENOS". The "PIRATE MERCHANTS OF VENICE" who want for the sweet spoils of inscents and t-shirts. To the "PIRATE MUTT OF DOCKWEILER", who just wants to lick the "USED SPOILS" of one, "BEACHED CAPTAIN OF NIBBS". SAVVY.....
URRRR to all, celebrate the "INNER POLITICAL PIRATE IN YOU". AARRRRRS AWAYYYSSS......!!!!!
Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19
Posted by Red Spot in CD 14 @ 9/18/2007 11:02:00 PM
32 Comments:
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Arrr, greetin's and merry Talk Like A Pirate Day mateys, shiver me timbers!
Avast ye scum ridden weevil shaggers. Ar, run, ye dogs, your blackest hour has come! Ye all are off to the Locker! Cap'n Jack Sparrow and his cockswain Zuma Dogg are gonna keel haul all ye and grow barnacles on ye starboard knackers.
Got it, mateys? Then drink up this here grog, and weigh anchor, me hearties! Yaar-ha-haaar!
Hey Rosendahl,
Sorry Red Spot dragged YOU into this for whatever reason.
This is a political blog about issues...but for some reason Pirate talk day, means cheap shot day?
(I know, I know...ZD takes cheap shots, right. But my stuff is generic that isn't specificly tailored around personal details.)
But hey, a clever angle is a clever angle. The joke must go on!!! THIS IS POLITICS...THIS IS COMMUNITY ISSUES...THIS AFFECTS US ALL. THE JOKE IS RELEVANT AND IS TOWARD THE GOAL OF CREATING CHANGE FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE COMMUNITY!
Ahoy, Cap'n Anon! (tips hat and grins broadly) Splice the mainbrace, sots (raises Bacardi 8 in crew's direction). Aye, this day shall be dedicated to Cap'n Jack, me Mayor Sam mates, and all ye dum-dum lubbers, past and present, who make this blog the glory she is (sots cheer and applaud wildly). Jolly good show, mates!
Now, drink up me hearties (enjoys a gulp of rum), and crank the iTunes, as it were. (lifts elbows and sways from side to side like Councilmember Alarcon)
I wholeheartedly agree with Zuma Dogg.....
And that doesn't always happen.
What gives???
Zuma,
If Rosebdahl wants to ride in a parade, with open shirt showing hairy cleavage. Then boundly some satire is going to come his way.
BTW, why don't you show the same outrage to Times scribe Steve Hymon for his "DENISE ZINE" remarks ?
LIGHTEN UP!!
RED SPOT
ARRR ME MATE ALARCON SWAY ME LIKE A CHOLO, ARRRSS HOMIES AWAY, SAVVY.
Sway like a cholo indeed, matey. The lasses, aye, they love how I lean. ARRRRGH!
ARRRGGG MORNING TO MATEY OF THE WATCH, SAAVY.
Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen (removes hat and bows low with flourish):
(Looks humble and smiles sheepishly) Today is in honour of me? (Grins broadly while crew applauds) Well then, let’s make the most of it, shall we? All of you who wish to sail with Captain Roberts, signify by saying “Aye!” loudly whenever any Clowncil person, staffer, hanger-on and/or supporter of all things establishment asks you a question that requires a positive response. All of you who wish to sail with Captain Bonnet, signify by saying “Arrgh” to your colleagues in passing so that you know who sails with you and who does not. And all of you who wish to sail ‘pon the Pearl with Yours Truly, signify by saying “savvy?” at the end of a paragraph, savvy?
(Looks at nails and raises eyebrow) Or we can put together a list of persons unknown at the moment who need to be either shown the plank or keelhauled. (Whispers) I personally prefer planking as keelhauling tends to pit the fiberglass and that means a trip to Ensenada for hull repair and we already did that this year, savvy?
And at 6:00pm this evening, let us all get together at the Redwood for it is, if you will, a place that makes a pirate feel at home. I unfortunately will not be there and neither will the Bard, but the rest of the crew will for that is a place most central for us to meet. Perhaps we can even tempt the Wicked 13 to make an appearance, savvy? (Snaps fingers with brilliant idea) Say, Zuma lad, are you about? Would you do me the favour of standing in for me tonight at the Redwood? (Gives Zuma a few quid) Here, have a pint on me. It’s the least I can do.
(Hears woman yelling and turns around quickly; looks shocked) Oh bugger, it’s Mrs. Keffelbaum trying to talk like a pirate. (Waves at Mrs. Keffelbaum) Yes, Mrs. Kefflebaum, it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day. No, I would not advise driving with an eyepatch on your good eye, and I don’t think a moyle is needed for keelhauling. No need to call my mum, and NO, I AM NOT DRINKING HARD LIQUOR!!! (Whispers) It’s going to be a long, long day, savvy?
I've got a better idea...MUTINY in the Valley! That should give the mayor something to think about, savvy?
Bill Rosendahl needs to calm down the gay emotional outrages when he speaks. He acts more like a woman who is pms'ng then a man. Then he wonders why gays get bashed. Bill doesn't think before he speaks and boy did he sound like a jerk during the whole May 1st melee yelling and acting like a female drag queen. calm it down Bill, Chill and stop supporting the illegals like the rest of the clowns on council
Grrrreeetings back at ye Cap'n AWatch!
Who be this scurvy son of a biscuit eater "Rosendahl" yer mate Zuma speaks of (who, by the way, is in need of a wee bit more of the Yo ho ho pirate spirit)?? There be no scallywag jew pirates! By the powers! At least none flyin' their jack on these high seas! Those scurvy bilge rat landlubbers be hoistin their booty and dubloons on dry land!
And no self-respecting English Gentleman of Fortune strains at the thought of a bilge sucking, lily livered cholo buccaneer!
May ye all have fair winds on this fine Pirate Talk Day, be duly loaded to the gunwales by sunset and may we all meet one day in Fiddlers Green!
Poop the deck! I be forgettin' right n' due homage to our great grand Jack Tar of Sea Dogs, the swashbucklin Cap'n Jack! The crew raises a flaskie o' ale to ye, Sir!
Aye Cap'n Anon. Let me try. (Winks, turns to Zuma Dogg and whispers) Zuma, lad, the sun sets in three short hours. Have a drink and let loose with the crew, savvy? (Eyes light up) Here, me boy, I'll teach you to cut a rug, so to speak, like Councilmember Alarcon. (Dips a little too far to the right) ARRRRRRRGH! (Winces in pain and braces hip) Blistering barnacles, I threw out me bloody back again!
You "pirates" are about as authentic as crunchberries!
Vive France!
Good afternoon Captain LaFoote (twirls ends of moustache):
If we pirates are comparable to crunchberries, what should we compare you to? Yoplait? Poupon? Trois oeufs avec la saucisse ?
Vraiment, il n'y a vraiment aucune comparaison entre vous et nous car nous, si vous irez faire, le séjour plus fort dans les situations liquides que le principal concurrent, savvy?
Rolls eyes and whispers to crew) Bloody hell, we’ll have a real mess on our hands if he comes drinking with us tonight, for he’s likely to cry over spilt milk.
Ahoy thar, an' greetings all 'round! Indeed, 'tis a great honor thou has bestowed 'pon me an' the Captain Sparrow, O great Red Spot!
Perchance I be outta me element as a privateer; but one nation's privateer is a pirate to all other nations!
Wilt thou join me at the tavern called Redwood, Red Spot, e'en if for a day thou mayest call thyself Redbeard? Hist! The hour draws nigh unto six! I must steer a most rapid course; I shall be late, perchance a quarter past!
Aye, an' Zuma? Wilt thou perchance calleth thyself a sea dogg fer a day? Thou hath 364 other days fer fun an' games at the expense of the 16 pirates in City Hall!
Navi, got your Blackberry? I'm hoping you might catch MS in an off moment. Can I get a ride over to the Redwood from you? You're not answering the cell. Call me on my cell. Jack's not able to make it. Thx. Rudderman
Aye, Rudderman... I didst thinketh none of thy crew wouldst shew; I didst keep meself occupied with observing a macaw 'pon the cannon muzzle 'til her owner fetched her an' retired out the forward hatch. I didst foller soon afterward, remarking to the keeper of the hatch what was a-setting in a chair a-smokin' 'twas me hope me cargo woulds't not shift on me way to me landside home.
Speak thee to thy barkeep David, he wilt describe me a bit. Ask him 'bout the one what didst bring his own lemon lime mixer fer a small vodka in a large glass.
Oh no...sorry I missed all the fun. was off-line for a while having some fun in a music studio. some of that will be coming to my myspace/non-political crowd.
Sir Chapman Privateer: What do you mean, "fun an' games at the expense of the 16 pirates in City Hall!"
I hope it's not at your expense!?!? I was hoping it was at OTHERS expense?
"I'm sorry to see you here, Jack, but if you'd have fought like a man you needn't hang like a dog."
From our ship to yours!
Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day to all the pussies on Mayor Sam!
Arrrrrrgh!
ARRRGGG, Miss a gobblers flask with the mateys at the "REDWOOD", Saavy flippin scummy luck. Gorg I hope you did Chapman and the lads.To Captain and the crew. I bow in your honor. ARRRGGG and a shingle wink to the ANNIE HOLES.
11:08... and good to hear from you, Councilmember "puss 'n' boots"!
Was Johnny Depp at Captain Jack's pirate soiree, or is this another case of false advertising? Expecting to see Johnny and finding a bunch of fat or bald homeless guys, I was very disappointing. Did I miss Johnnie somewhere amongst the crew?
Re: 1:58: I admit I may have been "disappointing" myself, but I meant disappointed. If only I could stop eating all them thar bangers and mash and pints o' bitters, I can get Johnnie to be my wing man prowling for the ladies, instead of the smelly bald homeless pirates I have now. Even with an eye patch and bandanna, they cain't hide thar flaws enough fer tha ladies to fool 'em. Had to go home alone again, all soused.
"Arrrrrrgh!" said the Queen Anne's Revenge.
Whatsamatter, Queenie? Did you accidently sit on a belaying pin, or are you having a bout of constipation?
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen (removes hat and bows low with flourish):
While I am sorry to have missed last evening's event due to other events, I do know for a fact that the rudderman and navigator were in attendance along with one of the Five, a blond lass who wears a pirate coin 'round her neck and looks rather smart in a bathing costume, savvy?
And for the record, my crew does not consist of bald, homeless men. Rest assured that all of my crew have their teeth and hair, and have beds to sleep in at night. As a matter of fact, one of the crew reported seeing Lord Chapman with his tall glass, but did not have a chance to speak with him as he was engaged in a discussion with a member of Roberts's crew, savvy?
(Narrows eyes) And as for you, Annie luv, age has not mellowed your tongue; perhaps if you dressed more like a woman more than just a pirate will notice you. Rumour has it that a certain someone's mistress favours Anne Taylor, savvy?
The next pirate sighting, if you will, that you'll want to get your date-books out and pencil in is the Red Mass. Look for the tall Irishman sitting with one of the Five and her little squid.
Who be these men who rouse me from the locker owned by David Jones of the Deep? Do ye know of me, I, the most successful of all pyrates?
I freely admit to the taking of more than 300 ships in the West Indies and off the coast of Africa.
Tread lightly and speak softly when you talk of me, lest you come join me in the locker of David Jones of the Deep!
Ahoy thar, Captain Sparrow! Forgive me, I've much to learn 'bout thy times! What, I pray thee, doth be a datebook? 'Tis mayhap, resemble a ship's log?
A pencil? Doth it be like the quill in me possession?
Aye, an' Captain Bart Roberts? Doth thou not have remembrance fer meself? Hath I not always poured the first glass 'pon the sea fer those who hath passed on before meself?
I spoke not of a privateer.
Pussy pirates. Bunch of gay guys hanging outside of WeHo for a day?
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