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Saturday, June 16, 2007

If You Are Reading This, go to ZUMATIMES.COM for the "Chat Room"

***** UPDATE *****

Adding new "research tool" features like ZD's favorite links and custom search engines. Crybaby losers can't use them. Everyone else, start your research engines!

33 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Mayor Sam you're stupid to allow Dave Elliott to try to scam your audience to his blog on your own site!

June 16, 2007 12:07 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

CBL,

I've always had my own site, this is the new version of zumadogg.com, a little more focused on politics and journalism than comedy, since that's the direction things have been going. [I've always linked and promoted my site! Glad this one seems to be getting to you!]

and in case you didn't notice...mayor sam does nothing but link to other blogs and sites.

as you know, a lot of info has been pouring in, and will continue to do so, so i created various other blogs to accommodate the avalanche of text (can't post all the long planning committee notices and NC minutes and long comments from people on the main mayor sam thread. so i had to create zumatimes.com just to be a portal for myself to access all the various threads on all my new blogs. AND, it's a research tool, with custom search boxes and stuff...so stop being a crybaby loser...mayor sam isn't...i work hard on this blog...i don't just post threads on my own blog and make mayor sam link to the story...i post everything here first. it's like the movie theater release....zumatimes isn't even the Blockbuster release...it's the cut-out bin at Rite Aid.

June 16, 2007 12:33 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Dave Elliott is fucking your blog Higby. Where the fuck are you?

June 16, 2007 1:16 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Elliott is shady.

June 16, 2007 1:18 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

lets post his arrest record

June 16, 2007 1:19 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

GO AHEAD AND POST IT!

June 16, 2007 1:22 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

don't totally give up the comedy: the zine SM leather photo w/ Bill was too classic: or was that "a little more focused on politics and journalism than comedy?" who can tell the difference? it doesn't matter...zine is probably endless fodder by hmself.

June 16, 2007 1:42 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

if you want to comment on politics you have to stop letting yourself be used by all sorts of bitter bernies -- he's not the only one backstabbing colleagues in the guise of duty and news -- and you are being used.

June 16, 2007 1:52 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

I know what you mean about "being used". I agree. Just because people are bitter, though, doesn't mean they are wrong and bad things aren't happening. Of course it's the bitter people (the ones most affected) that contact me. And I decide what I feel are the important things, and start to incorporate the issue into my mix.

It all started over one bitter bernie venice issue...then noel weiss' housing, then LAUSD, then Prop R...and now Glassell Park NC, and all the EIR/zoning appeals and the whole enchilada.

So yeah, I know people are using me...it would be nice if they helped by hitting me up on paypal a little more often on zumatimes.com, but whether people help or not, i seem to fall for the bait most of the time (and they know that), because the people who bring me this stuff, are bringing me the top info out there...and I can't seem to walk away.

June 16, 2007 2:16 PM  

Anonymous G. Marx said:

Zuma's continual self promotion is comical, but not comedy.

He wouldn't recognize a punch line if it walked up and bit him in the privates.

June 16, 2007 2:17 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

2:17pm,

If you want punchlines, listen to Rick Dees...he knows millions of 'em.

I didn't see Borat, but everyone said it was hilarious. Was he telling punchlines, or just being comical, or comedic or whatever anal retentive, obsessive compulsive clarification you were trying to make. And whether I'm comical vs comedic, or telling punch lines, or not...people seem to laugh pretty hard at zd and your loser mayor and city council on youtube. do a search for "zuma dogg" on my custom video search engine at zumatimes.com. most people laugh they asses off...so that means you'll cry.

June 16, 2007 2:23 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

HILLAR IS ONE CRAZY LADY. THE SHADY MAYOR HAS RUINED MY LIL' LADY.

June 16, 2007 2:56 PM  

Anonymous Pauley Shore said:

Yeah, what are you talkin' about?!

Zuma Dogg is totally hilarious, dude!

June 16, 2007 6:12 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg's ZAP (Zuma's Activist Program) said:

nothing really too funny going on these days? just occasional things, like when I did public comment in Casey Kasem voice, and "counted down the top fraud, waste and abuse inside LA City Hall." Even Garcetti was laughing his ass off -- they all were. meanwhile, i was talking about Glassell Park/NC corruption...so that's an example of the two crossing paths...but i've just turned into Mr. Serious.

June 16, 2007 6:30 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

"...can't seem to walk away."

These are the words of an attention whore.

An addict who gives up his life for a little attention, even if people laugh at him not with him.

Your 15 minutes are up, ZD. Go away.

June 16, 2007 8:29 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

8:29pm,

Who are you, George Bush...are you the decider? And you say my fifteen minutes are up? WHAT!!! I HOPE THEY HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET!?!?! BUT, you are the decider, so if you so, "Go away", so be it.

June 16, 2007 8:41 PM  

Anonymous zumatimes.com said:

...and, ZUMATimes.com!!!

June 16, 2007 8:43 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Hell, he never had his 15 minutes of fame.

He's nuthin' but a loser imitation Eminem white boy trying to talk Southern Black.

Dave Elliott never was raised in the South. Everything about him is phony, including his name.

A poor man's Borat (but they smell the same)

June 17, 2007 4:20 PM  

Anonymous Carrot Top said:

Okay, but I gotta admit, I think his comedy is the best!

June 17, 2007 4:25 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Casey Kasem??!

What, no Nixon impressions?

How about some "Here Come De Judge" references? They should love hearing that instead of handling the public business.

June 17, 2007 4:32 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

4:32pm Cry-Baby Loser said...[Re; ZD's Casey Kasem delivery of speech before Council] "They should love hearing that instead of handling the public business."

ZD said...Dear CBL, Did you watch the speech? If you did, you will find it was VERY informative regarding the problems with Glassell Park/Citywide NCs. And the tempered, slowed down Casey deliver insured it was easy to understand.

Sorry...victory Dogg/defeat CBL.

[It's like the Globetrotters vs Senators...same outcome every game. Guess which one YOU are? Well, let's see, I'm the one who talks black -- and you're the one who is a politician tip rider. (Senators are politicians, y'all...y'all...y'all!!!

June 17, 2007 5:50 PM  

Anonymous CBL said:

...and where was the punchline in that one?

June 17, 2007 10:30 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Hey ZD, wouldn't a victory mean that you actually effected some kind of change in the city?

It seems like right now you're very busy complimenting yourself on your own cleverness.

I mean, what would you say about an artist that writes his own reviews?

June 17, 2007 11:08 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

11:08pm,

I would say that you are a crybaby loser. Maaaaaan, I hope you are getting paid to post about me round the clock. otherwise, all of this is gonna go straight to my head. am i really that big a deal? i don't feel like that big a deal? but all this attention...something must be up???
i mean the amount of time spent trying to convince me of my in-effectiveness??? ok...my bad...

June 18, 2007 12:25 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

No, you are not a big deal at all; you are an irritant, a blemish on society, a loud obnoxious critter that interrupts the flow of commerce and civility with stupid rants and indecipherable sing-song idiocy.

But, like when a streaker runs through the otherwise civil proceedings of a show or a graduation, you are, indeed, noticed.

The notice usually comes in the form of comment, like "look at that asshole" or something close.

Like the streaker, you are just a common, street type attention whore.

June 18, 2007 6:06 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Ok haters what have you done to help your community or city? Probably not a damn thing but at least Zuma has been out there speaking out to help the city and your sorry asses. He has made a difference whether you want to accept it or not. People do listen to him and he has the courage to stand in front of city council and speak the truth and is the only one who has gone after corruption in this city. So unless you can say something pertinent you've done for this city shut the hell up.

June 18, 2007 6:58 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Oh, we've all done plenty, and not wasted anyone's time doing it. But, you wouldn't really expect us to detail it, would you?

Then there wouldn't be the anonymity achieved by posting under anonymous.

Your idol is a time waster and a nuisance. He fancies himself some authority on issues about which he only knows what he finds in some obscure places and all he does is cause everyone to stop what they are doing constructively and deal with his lame accusaations.

How can we sit still whilst he spouts off on issue after issue and only has the limited knowledge of a gadfly?

Two hundred years ago, Thomas Jefferson said "I am constantly amazed at citizens of this republic who read everything there is to read in the newspapers and then think they know something about the workings of government."

Thomas was talking about your pal, Dave Elliott.

June 18, 2007 7:30 AM  

Anonymous CBL said:

LATA (Look At That Asshole) Dogg, since you are not anonymous, would you please list the Top 10 changes you have pioneered in city government?

Feel free to do your Casey Kasem impression.

June 18, 2007 9:17 AM  

Anonymous olfred wagmuth said:

7:30, Jefferson was talking about YOU, not Zuma. History, Civics, and Economics were probably not your favorite subjects in school; you wouldn't know a bail bond from a savings bond.

June 18, 2007 9:53 AM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

6:06am,

Your description of my public comment person is about six months old. it's all there on the city website. when's the last time you saw me go tazmanian devil from the mic? But that's what agendized, propoganda spin doctors do.

OK...they're laughing AT me...I'm loud and disturbing still, no one pays attention, I'm wrong about everything, there has been no change on anything, I didn't even cause a ripple in the NC system this past two weeks...

BUT FOR SOME REASON YOU ARE MAKING ME THE BIGGEST TOPIC IN THE CITY, NEXT TO THE MAYOR THROWING AWAY HIS ENTIRE POLITICAL CAREER LAST WEEK.

I KNOW I"VE RAISED SOME EYEBROWS AND GOTTEN A LOT PEOPLE'S ATTENTION...but MAN...how one guy crawled off the beach, penniless, homeless, a broken down piece of machinery CONTINUES to be the focus of all of y'all helpless losers...MAN -- I MUST BE THE FUCKING BOMB!!! ALL THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM...

WISH I KNEW I WAS ACTUALLY THE "spotlights hitting something that's been known to change the weather" all these years.

I'M FLAT OUT SERIOUS...I know I "huff and puff" about my effectiveness...but it's almost like I was trying to convince myself...

BUT AFTER TODAY...It finally sunk in...I MUST BE RUNNING CIRCLES AROUND THESE LOSERS...why else would they be spinning so hard, round the clock. I wish I could see and enjoy my fantasticness the way you side-line spin doctors do.

I know...I know...you're in awe! I gotta start feeling a lot better about myself. I'm obviously the biggest thing in this City, next to the mayor, and Latham and Watkins didn't have to spend a penny on me.

AND NOW...PHASE 2 OF ZUMA DOGG...

I don't need paper work and legal documentation, to give my opinions on what I think is happening at the higher level.

People think I'm a pimple on an elephant's ass...and you're right.

Cause the racketeering, money laundering, and treasonist going on in this town, goes WAY higher up than these "temporary puppet-blips through town, like Councilmembers and even the Mayor.

So since the haters are right, and it's way bigger than City Council...let's start talking about William Velaquez and his little buddies Nunez/Villaraigosa/Cedillo and company. I don't know where all the money is coming from...but there's a lot of it...and there is an agenda behind it. AND ZUMA DOGG SAYS...THE AGENDA CONTINUES TO PROGRESS...NOT THROUGH A DEMOCRATIC PROCESS! THE ONLY WAY THE AGENDA GETS PROGRESSED IN BY VIOLATING US LAWS.

MORE BIG PICTURE OF THE REAL STRING PULLERS COMING UP THIS WEEK!

What a bunch of powerless puppets these spineless City Hall elected officials are. They are no match for Gilbert, Michael, Mark's crew and some other folks blogged about last night.

So since I haven't said or done anything effective...maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree. Let's move to the international money laundering tree, and see how they are using this money to flood the community with shady mailers against incumbents, use the money to get their own puppets into local councils, then fire/vote out anything standing in their way...and turn the place into a third world/mob rules community. (See Sorpranos).

And thanks for the Dr. Laura esteem boosting session, losers. I am so much more effective than all of you combined...and you're the ones with all the money, homes, cars, and picket fence. What a bunch of inferior losers.

TRY READING WHAT I READ, TALKING TO WHO I TALK TO, ATTEND ALL THE MEETINGS I ATTEND, AND DO EVERYTHING ELSE I DO...AND THEN, MAYBE...ONE DAY...MANY, MANY YEARS FROM NOW...you will have ONE short moment, where you might catch a feeling of what it is like to be BIG ZD. It feels GREAT!!! PEOPLE CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT ME. Know I know how Gene Simmons must feel at a KISS convention! And if you would like a signed photo, I'll send you one in the mail for a $35 paypal donation. (include name of person you want me to sign it to, as well.) [Add $5 for rush delivery.]

And it's been a while...but I feel so good today from all of this, it makes me wanna say:

Hooooooooody hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

June 18, 2007 11:03 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Don't flatter yourself: people aren't reading you because you're so important, but it's a sort of Oprah- style "people's psychology": trying to diagnose just want your condition is, exactly. Someone exposing his personality disorder (and trying to charge for it) seems to fascinate people. Like you said, you "can't help yourself." Seriously, go see a shrink, save yourself embarrassment. Even your detractors wouldn't want to see your manic-depressive disorder lead to some disastrous crash.

June 18, 2007 11:37 AM  

Anonymous CBL said:

LATA Dogg, can you at least post a "Top 5" list of the changes brought about by your "READING WHAT I READ, TALKING TO WHO I TALK TO, ATTEND ALL THE MEETINGS I ATTEND, AND DO EVERYTHING ELSE I DO"?

We'll wait.

June 18, 2007 12:52 PM  

Anonymous CBL said:

Okay.

How about just one change?

June 18, 2007 7:33 PM  

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