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Sunday, July 20, 2008

Real Men Vote for McCain: Top 10 Reasons Why

By Lou Aguilar

1. Barack Obama spent 20 years sitting in church while his preacher and others bad-mouthed the United States of America. Navy pilot John McCain spent five years being tortured in the Hanoi Hilton, and refused a chance to walk out ahead of fellow POWs with more seniority.

2. Obama wants to cut and run from Iraq regardless of conditions on the ground or future consequences. McCain took on the president and secretary of defense in demanding more troops for Iraq, a policy that is inarguably winning the war. He also has two sons who fought in Iraq.

3. McCain supports nuclear power. Obama backs wind energy.

4. Obama wants restrictive gun control because only economically depressed middle-Americans "cling to God and guns." McCain unwaveringly supports the Second Amendment.

5. McCain has deviated from his party's conservative base on several occasions (McCain-Feingold Bill, Gang of 14, McCain-Kennedy Bill, opposition to torture). Obama has voted the left-wing line every single time, and been designated the most liberal Senator in Congress.

6. Obama is willing to meet with hostile state leaders like Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez without preconditions. McCain will set conditions first, talk later - maybe.

7. Obama is married to a bitter, angry lawyer who became "proud" of her country for the first time this year. McCain's wife is a beer heiress who founded an organization to provide MASH-style units to disaster-torn world regions. Did I mention that she's a beer heiress?

8. Obama supports higher taxes for a government-run nanny state that will coddle all Americans like babies. McCain trusts people to spend their less-taxed money however they wish.

9. The name John McCain sounds like "John McClain," the action hero played by Bruce Willis in the manly Die Hard series. "Barack Obama"sounds like the kind of elitist villain John McClain has to outwit and defeat.

10. McCain is endorsed by Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Obama gets support from Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon,Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks, and every weenie in Hollywood. Plus, Susan Sarandon has vowed to leave the country if McCain gets elected. Case closed.

Lou Aguilar is a fiction writer and former Washington Post video critic, Washington Times television critic, and USA Today reporter.

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20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I just need on reason to vote for McCain; he's not Obama.

July 20, 2008 7:52 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What, we can get rid of Susan Sarandon? That self-righteous 60's activist still fighting lost causes from decades ago? And no more awful movies with her and Goldie Hawn together again? That's the biggest campaign promo McCain can muster.
(Unless, of course, it also means that Sean Penn will move to Venezuela and sit at the feet of, or kiss the feet of, Hugo Chavez forever.)

July 20, 2008 7:59 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

A very clever way to write a pro-Obama piece.

July 20, 2008 10:02 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Here's a response from someone who doesn't know if it's satire or if the guy really believes what he wrote:

http://flprogressive.blogspot.com/2008/07/wingnut-deconstruction.html

July 20, 2008 10:08 AM  

Blogger PaleoCon said:

Just cause McCain is better than BO doesn's mean he is worth the vote. Thank God for Barr or Baldwin

July 20, 2008 1:19 PM  

Blogger PaleoCon said:

Both these guys done give a crap about Americans. Thank God we still have Barr / Baldwin

July 20, 2008 1:20 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Is this man presidential material?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqnmXSXtDkQ


Signed; McSames abandoned first family.

July 20, 2008 1:42 PM  

Blogger Carmelo Brian Valone said:

Obama is the right choice, McCain getting the celebrity endorsements of three rather dull witted aging old tired action stars just tells me how old and tired McCain's thinking is.
If you were being sarcastic about being pro McCain I do get your point.

July 20, 2008 2:58 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I woke up a disillusioned Democrat but now I see there are good reasons to vote for Obama. Thanks!

July 20, 2008 4:09 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

three old fart male actors support McCain. Yeah, that really appeals.

July 20, 2008 4:11 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

2:56: It's one thing to be a tired old action star at 60, but one of the Obama endorsements listed, Leo de Caprio, looks worse at what, 33? He was on the latest E! "Worst Beach Bods," phew, that flabby gut for a movie star his age! ALL of them are wussy, and then Susan Sarandon? Hello - they're not a joke?

Which Baldwin does commenter want to see run with Barr -- Danny, of the DUI and run from cops fame? Alec, of the "you selfish little pig?" fame? Although he is good as a manipulative, teflon CEO of a tv studio on 30 Rock: the image we want for Pres?

July 20, 2008 6:41 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

A recent study found that old men are grumpier than old women. I guess confirmation of that can come from Cindy McCain.

Republican or not, why do we want to have a grumpy old man as president? I want my president to give me reasons to feel about myself, and just letting me know that he's going to spend trillions a year sending the military around the country to kick the butts of people we don't like, doesn't make me feel good about myself.

July 20, 2008 7:17 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I do not need OPRAH to run our nation! Let us bring in a real group, freedom fighters. Someone who knows how to work for a living.

July 21, 2008 9:10 AM  

Anonymous mslovelyLEO said:

GET REAL. IF WE DID NOT SIT ON THE BACKDOOR OF THE MIDDLE-EAST, WE WOULD HAVE A HOLY WAR. REALITY IS THAT WE DO NEED OUR MILITARY TO BE OUT IN THE WORLD, AND YES WE SUPPORT THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. IF WE DO NOT SHOW STRENGTH AND POWER, WHAT MIGHT ARE CHILDREN HAVE LEFT? OUR CITY IS IN THE DARK, BUT THE REAL WORLD DOES HATE AMERICANS. WE DO NEED TO PROTECT OURSELVES! HAVE YOU HAD A GONE POINTED AT YOU BECAUSE YOUR AMERICAN? LIVE IT AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND!

July 21, 2008 9:16 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

7:17 - How sad that you need a president to make you feel good about yourself. Even worse, you probably believe that's an actual role of the Office of President, along with bringing the world together in harmony, right? Dear God we've become a country of morons.

July 21, 2008 9:17 AM  

Blogger Igor said:

"...Obama has voted the left-wing line every single time, and been designated the most liberal Senator in Congress."

That's impossible, John Kerry is the most liberal Senator.

July 21, 2008 2:38 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Yeah. And Obama said it was a tragedy that the Japanese dropped the bomb on Pearl Harbor.... or was it one of the other 56 states?
WOW. Wouldn't it be great if some reporter could actually get a one-on-one away from his handlers with this kid. Hillary was right this joker is unelectable. Good thing Carter already gave away the Panama Canal.

July 21, 2008 5:31 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

also John McCain hates Asians....

"I hate the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live."

-John McCain
February 2000

July 21, 2008 6:12 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

and he called his wife a 'cunt' in front of his aides reporters in '92.

http://rawstory.com/news/2008/McCain_temper_boiled_over_in_92_0407.html

July 22, 2008 7:50 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Who gives an F what ANY ACTOR thinks about politics?

I'm not really sold on McCain, but if voting for him means that saggy old broad Susan Sarandon leaves the US, then he has my vote!!!

(And please, Susan, take that idiot boyfriend of us yours with you!)

July 24, 2008 11:41 PM  

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