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Friday, July 25, 2008

Haiku: Where are the damn synchronized traffic lights???

http://www.noblehaiku.blogspot.com/
Mayor squanders cash.
Just sync lights and buy buses!
Stop torturing us!!!



Labels: , ,

44 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said:

enough of this crap already.

July 25, 2008 2:47 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Zuma Dogg is jealous...

And if you're not Zuma Dogg, then I got you riled up enough to respond.

One more site visit for Mayor Sam.

Hahahaha

July 25, 2008 2:51 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Embrace the haikus, idiot.

Revel in it.

Or go back to spanking your monkey.

July 25, 2008 2:54 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

1,625,347

Who wants to be next on the Mayor Sam clicker?

I love the power of the haiku.

July 25, 2008 2:56 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

this has to be the only medium in history that spits at readers who offer criticism. you're idiots.

July 25, 2008 2:58 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

2:58 is right. HaikuGayLA still thinks it was really Zumma who posted on the last thread. I'm no Zumma fan but leave him out of this unless he chimes in.

July 25, 2008 3:02 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I (the author, Haikula) can handle crit. I just see vitriole, rather than crit.

Truth is, the haikus are better than at least half of the posts here.

Hope 247 can handle THAT crit.

Deal with the ISSUE, not the STYLE, Dum Dums!

July 25, 2008 3:02 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

That wasn't ME who posted it, and I'm NOT a GUY!

Dum Dums.

Can you comment on the SUBJECT?

July 25, 2008 3:03 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What happened to Zuma Dogg's sombrero?

Did they foreclose on it and slap the Denver boot on his van?

July 25, 2008 3:06 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Here's a Haiku:

The dum dums are fools
They won't ever procreate
Do they not have jobs?

(I am not the haikuer)

July 25, 2008 3:11 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Traffic is SO bad on the westside that it takesmore than an hour to reach the 405 from Santa Monica on some days. AN HOUR!!!

July 25, 2008 3:19 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

there are so many haters on this site, yet I don't see them contributing by providing articles.

traffic is so disgusting that i really would move if I had more options.

July 25, 2008 3:20 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

if you're so freaking proud of your work, why post it anonymously? i'll tell you why. it's because this site routinely slimes people, so others have absolutely no problem criticizing you. and the clicker is meaningless, by the way, as long as higby persists in finding dumb ways to drop brittany's name in a naked attempt to drive traffic.

July 25, 2008 3:22 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

322, hello????

Where is YOUR name?

Post it, jackass. Your hypocracy is amazing. You ask people to not be anonymous, then you post anonymously?

Who says that the person's sensibilities are any different than yours???

Huh? Where is your answer to that? The guy/gal is just throwing something out there. If you don't like it, go to the next piece.

July 25, 2008 3:26 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Who said the writer is proud, 3:22?

The person is just putting it out there, take it or leave it.

And what exactly are you bringing to this discussion? Not getting enough from the wifey?

July 25, 2008 3:36 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Here's an idea. Just keep bashing the person so they quit and we don't get anything except from Higby.

July 25, 2008 3:38 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

please can we keep it to 2 haikus a month, there great i just don't want them to get played out.

July 25, 2008 4:16 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Obviously, everyone here feels great about the traffic.

July 25, 2008 4:31 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

thank you 416. i just told michael that I'm just going to publish them on the blog that I just started, and that if he likes them, he can use them as he sees it.

isn't it interesting that traffic is the #1 or #2 problem in this city. so because these friends don't like the MEDIUM, they forego the SUBJECT.

i think that says a lot about the readership: incapable of discussing the SUBJECT.

i have been reading this blog for a month, and didn't realize until this week what childishness resided here.

such school yard antics are not my style. yes, yes, I know "BOO HOO, FUCK YOU." i get it. that's the style here. why pay attention to the substance, right?

but thanks again.

July 25, 2008 4:48 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

If you don't like it here, you can always vist JoeMailanders blog and read Joe's boring posts and his good buddy Don BesaCulo's comments, which are the only thing posted on his blog.

At least Mayor Sam will post just about every comment, even if they are critical or stupid. While Joe MailHandler is a sensitive pussy who won't post any negative comments, not that many people are probably reading his blog.

Or vist Zuma Dogg who usually has zero comments and probably just as many readers.

There are many choices for blogs, enjoy the show.

July 25, 2008 4:49 PM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

HaikuLA don't worry about the dum dums. Most of them are people who have been fired from the blog.

July 25, 2008 5:13 PM  

Blogger Valley Doll said:

I love Fridays!

xoxo

July 25, 2008 5:14 PM  

Blogger Valley Doll said:

...and I love HAIKUUUUUUUUS!

Keep rockin' em.

xoxo

July 25, 2008 5:15 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I have no complaints about LA traffic.

July 25, 2008 5:30 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What's interesting is that I was going to write a piece about something like how Dion O'Connell always interrupts Zooma Dogg's comments.

But that smelly, homeless, beggar couldn't recognize the humor in being compared to George Brett's rant in the Pine Tar Incident, so what's the point in embarrassing Dion?

BELIEVE ME, I can handle the comments.

But if you aren't bothered by the lack of traffic light synchronization, you are either a moron or unemployed.

Higby we should publish two haikus a day for the next week just to punish 'em!

July 25, 2008 5:46 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

http://street-hassle.blogspot.com/2008/07/back-to-past.html

Oh look Joe MailHandler is now criticizing the new "haiku" guest writer. Too bad JoeMailhandler is so weak and sensitive that he won't post any comments critical of his own blog. As Zuma Dogg would say "what a cry baby loser".

I wonder what Joe MailHandler's lone reader and know it all, Don BesaCulo will have to say, about Joe's critique of Mayor Sam’s blog.

July 25, 2008 5:51 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Oh, this is rich friends.

Demonstrating that SOME people appreciate the value of the almighty haiku, one los angeles city council member wrote to share a very well synchronized route.

Anyone not liking haikus now? Hmmm?

Have a great weekend.

July 25, 2008 5:54 PM  

Anonymous captain jack kerouac's ghost said:

American Haiku

"The American Haiku is not exactly the Japanese Haiku. The Japanese Haiku is strictly disciplined
to seventeen syllables but since the language structure is different I don't think American
Haikus (short three-line poems intended to be completely packed with Void of Whole) should worry
about syllables because American speech is something again... bursting to pop.

Above all, a Haiku must be very simple and free of all poetic trickery and make a little picture
and yet be as airy and graceful as a Vivaldi Pastorella."

-- Jack Kerouac

Holding up my
purring cat to the moon
I sighed.
-JK

The moon,
the falling star
- Look elsewhere
-JK

July 25, 2008 6:14 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

The only people riding the crowded buses right now are the Mexican maids, students and old people who can't afford cars or are too old or too young to drive. Plus a handful of bikers, and green activists, and backpacker types.

BUT if the subway- and rail-phobic provincials ever got out of town and traveled the world, they'd see that in every city with extensive mass transit, everyone rides it because it's faster than a car and avoids the hassles of tolls and parking.

If you look at the really nice lines like LA will be, like Tokyo, which are built with latest technology, you'll see they're very attractive and comfortable. Most of those whining about finishing the Expo to its logical conclusion at the sea, have never seen the current Expo Line or attended an MTA meeting with detailed renderings. Fits their personas as kvetchers. They want surface "fixes," do they? Then why have they whined about and fought every viable proposal? Because that's who they are.

The city has tried all along to provide immediate surface improvements while working on the long-range mass-transit. But more buses like we have now will never be the long-range solution; they'll never carry a different demographic, like in other cities.

July 25, 2008 7:07 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Vote no on cat tax

GM's squeeze water from rocks

Shelter cats will die

July 25, 2008 7:31 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Higby, this HaikuLA character has a solid pair of cojones. First he disses your other bloggers, saysing his poems are better than half the shit posted here. Then he disses Zumma Dogg for something Zumma didn't even say!

July 25, 2008 8:17 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

817 you are such a little townie.

I remember people like you, sitting around the townie bar with the cronies, smoking your ciggies and complaining how the boss won't give you a promotion.

You're the type of fool who thinks it requires "cajones" because I post an anonymous comment? How does that require cajones?

Goodnight, Townie.

July 25, 2008 8:26 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

8:17, the haikus are definitely better than half the shit posted here.

Don't back yourself into a corner insisting that they're not. You've done your petty job of stopping them.

July 25, 2008 8:27 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I'm not the haiku person, but I just noticed that Zuma Dogg is giving Wall Street advice on his blog.

I'm not saying this to be cruel, but is it ironic that a homeless guy is giving market advice?

July 25, 2008 8:34 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Yay, mailander is now talking about all of us and the haikuer! Woo hoo, we made it to the big time!

July 25, 2008 8:42 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Joe M is apparently coming off of a bender and on a rant about all of this.

July 25, 2008 8:45 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I'm not the MS writer, but just want to throw this heiku out there for you blogging idiots.

This sniping's boring.
Earned almost a grand today.
Good night you dum-dums.

July 25, 2008 8:54 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Guys lay off. Gay-ku is an EOE hire.

July 25, 2008 9:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Hiaku-ing is fun

Earned three grand while haiku-ing

Please, keep 'em coming

July 25, 2008 9:25 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

9pm is a rarity: a self-loathing gay who's not getting laid at Friday 9pm.

July 25, 2008 9:32 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

The city runs better without the Mayor so he should take all the time he wants OUT OF LOS ANGELES.

L.A. mayor heading off on second vacation since taking office
.....Ahead of a busy fall election schedule, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa will take the next two weeks off to spend time with his children - his second vacation since being sworn in.

Aides to the mayor said he would be traveling, but his destination was not disclosed. They said the trip was designed to spend some "quality time" with his children.

Villaraigosa will play an active role in the presidential campaign, including the Democratic Convention beginning Aug. 25 in Denver. In addition, he has agreed to campaign for a number of tax and bond measures on the Nov. 4 ballot.

July 26, 2008 7:11 AM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

We have some weird ass readers, but keep coming back!

(Except Don Quixote)

July 26, 2008 1:20 PM  

Anonymous biff said:

A haiku for Mailander's blog:
**************************
If ballet is so cool
Then why not go to old school
Put Don in tutu
*************************
Wait a second, this is fun:
****************************
See the manly tutu
What is the stain on the front
Why its menudo
**********************************
Counting syllables can be tedious but a certain pleasure is derived when its pupose is to slam Don Besaculo.. ( that's NOT a haiku, just a heartfelt outpouring)

July 27, 2008 5:21 AM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

I don't know if my other comment made it through (internet cut off) but July 25, 2008 2:51 PM is the one who must be jealous of something. WHY WOULD YOU THINK I POSTED THE COMMENT YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT.

I ASSURE YOU, YOU ARE WRONG, YOU JEALOUS A-HOLE.

I like the hiaku thing. and if you don't like it, at least they are short and you can scroll down.

but who is such a bitter a-hole that they wouldn't want to take a second to check it out.

AND YES, ZUMA DOGG JUST DOES HAPPEN TO BE A SHOCKINGLY ACCURATE PREDICTOR OF GLOBAL ECONOMIC TRENDS AND HAVE AN UNCANNY KNACK AT APPLYING IT TO THE STOCK MARKET.

As a matter of fact, as I was listening to the radio today, hearing about more foreclosure problems (GETTING BIGGER)...

I said to myself, "Daaaaaaaaamn, at this point, the blog post I was most criticized for turns out to be the biggest shiznit I ever prognostacated:

Saturday, May 05, 2007
ZUMA DOGG PUBLIC HEARING: IS THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL FOR A RECESSION STARTING IN SIX MONTHS TO A YEAR?

Oh no...Sen. Chuck Shumer/NY just told Zuma Dogg (indirectly) that we are gonna have a housing bubble-burst and recession starting in about a year. (With the effects starting as soon as six months.) SELL NOW!

They got these things called “sub-prime lending” (high risk, low interest loans). When you have a good economy, you can give some “riskier investments/clients” these low interest loans to jumpstart their American dream of home ownership.

They only pay 1% or 2% the first three years, or so. Then, the rate jumps to the Federal rate (what is it, 5.5%, or something.) Well ZD feels it might go to of 6%, 7% -- is 8% out of the question?)

When the Federal Reserve raises interest rates, more people with subprime loans default. Why? Because these people, coming off 3 year low interest loans, have to jump into a 6% or 7% or even 8 % rate all of the sudden, and they can’t keep up with the new, higher payments each month and then they default.

Well these days, with higher paying jobs being replaced with lower paying jobs; while housing costs, property taxes, and everything else -- people are gonna be defaulting on the loans, more and more. And the banks know that this is going to to become more of a problem, so they are going to stop approving these “low prime lending” rates.

Sen. Chuck Shumer/NY has a bill in congress in about six months to a year they are going to put the clamp down on “sub-prime loans”. This is a major sign that the housing bubble is gonna pop. Then, all these condos will be staying on the market, vacant -- getting cheaper and cheaper by the quarter.

L.A. is leading the nation in this housing bubble burst, as vacany rates in Los Angeles continue to increase, due to people moving out of the City for all the reasons stated daily by the pueblos.

Come summmetime fuel prices will go higher.

Posted by Zuma Dogg @ 5/05/2007 10:32:00 AM

AND HERE THE COMMENTS FROM JEALOUS CRYBABY-LOSERS LIKE YOURSELF:

* Another post on a subject you know nothing about.

* ZD: Stick to the local politics scene and stay away from economics. And dont believe anything the vapid Chuckie Schumer says. Unemployment, inflation are still at historical low levels. Stock market continues to set all time records. Corporate balance sheets are flush with cash and looking to spend. There will be some adjustment to the real estate market but most economists don't think the sky will fall.

THEN I PREDICTED GOLD WOULD HIT $1000 when it was $850 (everyone said NO WAY).

You see i predicted high oil prices in the summer -- when everyone said oil would be at $85-$90 a barrel.
(ZD said, brazil, dubail, india, china would keep demand and prices high.)

ZD warned the stock market would have the worst opening of historic proportions in Jan 08. IT DID!

When everyone said thing had bottomed out and said the DOW was ready to rally back to 13,500-14,000...

ZD SAID, "Not so fast optimists...it's going to 10,500, before 13,500. IT DID!

AND I CONTINUE TO LEAD THE CURVE BY ABOUT THREE TO SIX MONTHS WITH SHOCKING ACCURACY.

I told investors Starbucks stock was never going back to $30...it's going to $18-$19. I WAS TOLD I WAS FULL OF "S". It went to $18/$19 within two weeks of my warning.

I told investors to sell Apple at $200. It dropped within a week and hasn't seen $200 since.

Go back to my public comments from around three months ago when I first returned to LA.

Go back and read my posts from StrategyUpdate.com

I'm only posting some of this so that the non-jealous crybaby-losers can read ZD's economic and stock predictions with more comfort and credibility.

And oh yeah,

HA, HA, HA, HA, HA...

HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!

THE WHOLE CITY TUNES IN TO SEE WHAT ZUMA DOGG HAS TO SAY ABOUT THE ISSUES ON TV 35, I'VE BEEN RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY...

I WILL CONTINUE TO WARN AND ALERT READERS SO THEY CAN ACT/PLAN APPROPRIATELY BASED ON THEIR CURRENT SITUATION:

AND THE #1, #1, #1 THING THE COUNTY MUST REALIZE, IS THAT THERE IS NOT ENOUGH WATER FOR ALL THE HIGH DENSITY PROJECTS THEY CONTINUE TO CRAM DOWN THE DELTA RIVER'S ASS.

SORRY KIDDIES!

It would be nice to be able to build and build and build and build and accommodate the entire world inside City and County limits.

BUT YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH WATER...

YOU NEVER WILL HAVE ENOUGH WATER...

AND ZUMA DOGG WILL BE STARRING IN THE REMAKE OF "ESCAPE FROM L.A."

AND -- YOU DO NOT HAVE THE ENFORCEMENT YOU WILL NEED WHEN ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOSE ON THE STREETS.

I say we are about one year away from the Federal government having to simply step in and declare the region a public safety hazard.

The public safety hazard being the elected officials who continue to approve more high density housing when the whole world knows you don't have the water and people will be dying in their homes at record levels.

JOB OPPORTUNITY: Become a "mobile coroner". BIG FUTURE LIES AHEAD FOR YOU ON THE STREETS OF L.A.

FOR MORE INFO ON "SMART" GROWTH: Call 3-1-1 and ask to be connected to Council President Eric Garcetti.

NEW: Zuma City Hall Photo Gallery

Found 100's of photos from City Hall and around the city. some new ones posted.

Click Here

July 27, 2008 11:59 AM  

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