What Should I Be?
I should be a Democrat right:
- I'm pro choice
- I have no problem with gay marriage
- I have an interest in Eastern religions and eclectic forms of spirituality
- I drink frappucinos and fancy bottled waters
- I get choked up at the "I'll Cover You" song in Rent, even though I know its two dudes singing all lovey dovey to each other
- I didn't vote for George Bush (any of them)
- I think Alexandra Acker is kind of hot
- I'm pro gun rights
- I'm absolutely opposed to government health care programs
- I believe that Jesus Christ is my personal savior
- I like to eat tater tot casserole
- I think George Jones is the bomb
- I support the war in Iraq
- I definitely think that Michelle Malkin is hot
Labels: democrats, george jones, michelle malkin, rent, republicans
Posted by Mayor Sam @ 2/09/2008 07:06:00 PM
19 Comments:
You should be David Elliott.
He should be so lucky!
He should be Barry White.
you should be less superficial on how you decide what party you are/aren't a member of.
Log Cabin Republican?
What the fuck is a tater tot casserole?
Anonymous said...
Log Cabin Republican?
That's for gay guys and gals.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I like girls. :)
Not that there's anything wrong with that either!
Tater tot casserole is the national dish of Iowa. I am sure Barack, McCain, Shillary, et al tasted it many times.
Yep, we are sure YOU tsted it lots more times, and most of those times you ate the whole thing.
Go on the ZD diet; beg for coffeee and food money and you can slim down.
You are bigger than Hertzberg now.
Anonymous said...
You (Mike) are bigger than Hertzberg now.
February 10, 2008 2:23 AM
IF A WOMAN GAINS 3 POUNDS SHE GOES BALLISTIC, BUT FOR A MAN, WEIGHT IS A DIFFERENT MATTER...AS LONG AS HE CAN FIT INTO AN ELEVATOR DOOR; EVERYTHING IS FINE. USUALLY BUYING A BIGGER BELT OR PANTS DOES THE TRICK. NO HYPERVENTILLATING, NO DRAMA, NO SKIN OFF ONE'S NOSE.
SOME MEN LIKE TO BREAK-IN THAT NEW PAIR OF PANTS OR BELT WITH A NICE 5-LB. PIZZA. A COUPLE OF MANHATTAN'S WILL BOUNCE UP THAT OLD APPETITE IN NO TIME!
You should be ...............
Don Quixote or
Santiago or
Drinking With Tony or
Big Betty or
Mustang Sally or
Conchita or
Hiroshi or
Marty With the Short Pants or
Professor Irwin Corey or
Biff or
Jim or
Ezekiel Jenkins or
Sybil ..............................
Thanks for confirming once and for all what a fucking idiot you are.
Thanks for the explanation Mayor Sam!
In your quest for an answer about what you should be, you "embraced" a couple of gay topics which led me to wonder if in fact you yourself were gay.
Now that you have cleared up the matter and "come out" on the heterosexual side, I would not suggest a "Log Cabin Republican" membership card for you.
Hey! As a fellow heterosexual but a Democrat I wonder why there is (I don't know for sure!),no club or organization for Gay Democrats?
And if there was an organization as such, what would it be called?
Maybe I'm not being PC, and I apologize if I sound like a homophobic, I'm not, I'm just trying to help!
But maybe for the Gay female Democrats the organization could be called the "Klondykes" huh?
And for the male Gay Democrats, maybe "The Trouser Trouts" whata ya say?
Oh shit maybe I better just shut up before I really get in trouble.
And why is the Gay Republican organization called the "Log Cabin Republicans"?
Kind of makes one wonder, and with my filthy mind all sorts of depraved visions are floating around.
And after all the Gay Republican scandals, that all seemed to take place in public bathrooms I wonder if the name should be changed to the
"Old Outhouse Rebub-licans"
Well Mayor Sam I hope I have helped slightly in your pursuit of "What Should I Be?"
And since you say you are a Republican heterosexual maybe you should begin an organization based on that seemingly diminishing statistic.
But be warned we heterosexual poontang loving Democrats already own the rights to our organizations trademark
"The Brick house of the Rising Sun Democrats"
PS; For a real "melting pot" experience try putting "hush puppies" and a couple of "slim jims" in a bowl of menudo some Sunday AM.
Huckabees doing it and garnering a lot of Latino votes!
To BE Or not to be, what to be, how to be... ah yes, the mystery of the "bees" which every the Great Beekeeper in the Sky hasn't resolved to anyone's satisfaction. Just look inside your bowl of Tater Tots, my son, and the Pattern of Life will be revealed there, and you will
KNOW
WHAT
TO BE
No, no, the Answer is in a bowl of menudo, in the pattern of the tangled intestines (vegetarian won't do here) because they, truly, are a manmade equivalent of the Tree of Life here on this very temporal, temporary earth.
Me, I'm a vegetarian, I don't eat pig intestines, so I have No Answers.
MS: More reasons to be a Republican:
Ann Coulter
Elizabeth Hasselback
Bo Derek
Michelle Malkin
Reasons not to be a Democrat:
Yenta Babs Streisand
Gay Rosie O
Hit the wall Cher
Hate America Randi Rhodes
5:28
Ann Coulter? Thats one naaaasty Rep.
Let's try Janine Turner and Heather Locklear as proud Republicans! Sexy, conservative and did I say sexy!
That's what makes me proud to be a republican!
3:59
Stop being a "Don't Bee!"
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