How To Pick Up Girls
An interesting flyer fell out of my copy of this week's LA Weekly. And in light of the Mayor's recent troubles maybe it's timely.A weekly seminar at the Sportsmen's Lodge Hotel (by the pool no less) will teach you a "total new concept on how to pick up girls and have them call you." For $69 (cash only) you can learn how to get a a girl to call you, how to have girls love you without having to blow a lot of money taking them out to dinner; even how to get strippers to go home with you.
On the other hand you could just listen to Tom Leykis on KLSX and get more or less the same material for free. Or you could get elected Mayor of LA.
Labels: how to pick up girls, klsx, tom leykis
Posted by Mayor Sam @ 7/08/2007 04:18:00 PM
8 Comments:
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Actually, the Mayor can have his skanky ass hoes.
I know what you're thinking.
Mirth-ho-a and Hoo Chee Ho are pretty attractive.
But not where it counts.
As political groupies, they have whatever Alex Padilla, Fabian, and Kevin De Leon gave them.
They, along with anyone else who takes the same track, are just used-up hoes.
You can only get so far on your back. You have to stand on your own two feet at some point.
Hey! Mail that flyer to Villar! Teaching that seminar - poolside (hahahaha) - could be a good private sector gig for him in the future!! (After all, he's getting a little long in the tooth for cabana boy!)
We should have figured that something was up when this classified ad was posted in the Weekly last year:
"Handsome, self-confident, very high-profile Latino male seeks attractive woman (martial status not an issue) for clandestine, physical, risky, self-incriminating relationship. (Don't call the office.)
So now you reveal yourselves: just jealous that some "midget mayor" with a barrio background who can't pass the bar cuz he didn't even go to a real law school, gets all the women he wants and you guys have to go to classes to even have a clue on how to try. "Even strippers," it says, huh? Nothing like aiming high.
5:30 Hmmm.yougotitwrong. Double check sources--kevin de leon--hmmmm impossible.
636 - Nahhhh....
MS is just trying to get Tom Leykis google juice for the blog
Here are the "basics" of Leykis 101. Not sure if they all apply if you are the mayor of a major US city.
$40.00 Limit - Never spend then $40 no a date. >>
3 Dates Rule - Stop seeing the girl if you do not get laid after the third date. >>
No Means No - If she says no then, STOP, get your stuff, and leave. >>
Single Mothers - Never date single mothers. >>
Tabasco Sauce - After having sex pour Tabasco sauce into the used condom. >>
Co-worker Relationships - Never date a co-worker. >>
Approaching Women in Groups - Never approach a woman in a club that's surrounded by her girlfriends. >>
Sex To Go - No spooning, cuddling, and or staying over after sex. >>
Relationships - Do not get into a serious relationship before the age of 25. >>
Weekend Dates - Do not go out on weekend dates unless you are guaranteed sex. >>
Cell Phone Dates - If your dates cell phone rings during the date then immediately leave. >>
Women in Bars - Sit at a bar alone and do not talk to any women. >>
After Hours Homely Pickings - The fugly women are the last one's to get picked up. >>
Birth Control - Regardless of what a woman says always use birth control. >>
No Gifts - No gifts are ever given to booty calls and women you are dating. >>
Beverage Consumption - Buy Hard Alcohol over Beer. >>
Types of Dates - Avoid lunch and or coffee dates. >>
Jerks and Assholes - If women think you are a jerk, then your doing something right. >>
Master Filibusters - Do directly from the bar the bedroom. >>
Eating Before Dates - Have a hearty meal before a date. >>
Marriage Contract - Never marry with out a prenuptial agreement. >>
You Choose the date - You choose what to do on the date. >>
Income and Women - The amount of income you have often determines the type of women you get. >>
Male Friends - All her male friends want to have sex with her. >>
No Sex At Your House - Never bring a woman home for sex. >>
No Compliments - Never compliment a woman. >>
Easily Replaceable - Have her know that if she does not put out then you will get it else where. >>
Holidays - Break up with your women during those money sucking holiday seasons. >>
Change is not Inevitable - Do not change who you are just for a woman. >>
Prepare your Identity - Be the doctor she wants or the million she's looking for. >>
Power Before Kids and Marriage - Men have the most power before kids and a family. >>
Paternity Test - Always get a paternity test no matter how sure you are that it is your child. >>
No DNA Donation - Never help a women you have no intention of marring have kids. >>
Women Are Dream Killers - They want to reach their dreams and stop yours. >>
Ultimatum, Run - If a women gives you an ultimatum then run and don't look back. >>
Giving and Getting Phone Numbers - Give your number out to as many women as possible. >>
Women on Vacation - Your women's on vacation and she maybe sleeping with other guys. >>
Don't Move In With Girlfriend - Do not move in with your girlfriend. >>
Don't Call Her Back - Don't call her back after the date. >>
6:29
YEAH! How humiliating is THAT! Tried the Bar 4 times and couldn't pass, but dimwit Rocky passed on the first try! OUCH!
Oh, and he gets the "Hoochi Ho's" (HaHa! Good one 5:30!!) JUST because of the office ... he'll be lucky to get strippers when all this is done! "Teaching" poolside is going to start looking good ...
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