Memo to L.A. City Council: Don't paint squiggly mulit-color decorations on the road Friday at 5:00pm anymore, please.
To: Mayor Antonio Villaraiagossa and Los Angeles City Council
Fr: Inspector General Zuma Dogg
Re: Painting multi-color, squiggly lines on the road, for decorative purposes during 5pm Friday Rush hour.
Dt: March 31, 2007
Dear Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and YOUR Los Angeles City Council,
People accuse the City of "bad planning" and overall dim-witted judgement. And that saddens Zuma Dogg. Because Dr. Deming taught me that people are already trying to "do their best". But I don't think he ever checked the LA City Ethics Commission web site.
But here's something that doesn't call shadiness, fraud or abuse into play. Only waste. And the solution seems pretty obvious. But maybe there's more to the situation, and if there is, I'm sure someone from City Hall will post it. If not, no wonder people say L.A.'s planning is so bad, it's actually a safety hazard.
You see yesterday, a constituent we all know and love was trying to drive down Cahuenga, in Tom "What's His Real Name" LaBong's district. (No, it wasn't me, I said, "we all know and love".)
Only problem, was the road was shut down to one lane. Because they were painting mulit-color wavy/squiggly lines on the road, which seemed to be for no other reason than decorative purposes. (Council approved graffitti, if you will.)
And Zuma Dogg ain't against painting no mulit-color, squiggly lines for decorative purposes...IF YOU WERE DOING IT ANY- OTHER-TIME, THAN FRIDAY AT 5PM. Because you see, there was also a fire burining, so traffic was all messed up from that, too. This kinda demostrates the problem that too many more high density projects are gonna have on the infrastructure. Cause it's bad enough the area is shut down because of a tragic arson fire. But you gotta go shut the road down to one lane to paint some squiggly lines at 5pm on Friday. And the constituents JUST WEREN'T PREPARED FOR THE DOUBLE BAMBOOZLE.
In summary: To help prevent people from saying Los Angeles City Hall is bad at planning, don't paint multi-color squggly lines on the road for decorative purposes during rush hour traffic hours. Do it some other time.
And while you're at it: DON'T SPEND TIME AND MONEY ON COMMUNITY OUTREACH AND OUTDOOR BANNERS ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO PARTICIPATE IN LOCAL GOVERNMENT -- THEN MAKE THEM WAIT THREE HOURS TO SPEAK TWO MINUTES. Cause MOST of the people who cleared their calander to be there, spent the time and money on gas and parking to come down, left at some point of the three hour wait.
But, ZD knows that's what you wanted...And now, so will everyone else. And since you made the people who elected you to represent them, wait three hours -- while you ran a three hour "waste parade" through Chambers, both of these stories just went to #1 with a bullet on the ZD topic list and will be making all the rounds on TV 35, TalkRadio and blogging.
Next time take public comment FIRST, before your three hour "waste parade" where every CM has to jump on the ass-kissing float.
Yours in Methods for Management of Quality and Productivity and Good PR,
Inspector General Zuma Dogg
p.s. Time to start planning 4th of July fireworks. Remember to shoot them UP into the air -- not sideways INTO City Hall.
- Possibly W. Edwards Deming
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UPDATE: BELOVED CONSTITUENT TELLS HIS STORY:
Since it was me who actually saw the zig-zag line painting crew in Tom LaBong's District, I tell you a little more.
The fire above the Oakwood Apartments in Universal City caused traffic to back up on all freeways in the area.
So at 5pm on a Friday, when the traffic is worse than usual, we have one lane of traffic on Magnolia Blvd. at Tujunga closed so that city crews can paint multi-colored lines on stamped asphalt at the intersection.
This was really a dumb move. That intersection is near onramps/offramps for both the 101 and 170 freeways. Why couldn't this work be done earlier in the day.
Also I am curious to know how this design was chosen. It really doesn't fit in with the other things at the corner, including the statue of aviator Amelia Earhart.
You've got to love this city!
AND ON THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE VENDING BAN ON VENICE BEACH THAT IS ABOUT TO GET KICKED TO THE CURB LIKE THE CHEAP HOs WHO AUTHORED AND VOTED FOR IT, HERE'S A CLIP FROM LAST YEAR'S PROTEST CONCERT HOSTED BY DOWD, HUNT & ZEE...And now...talented hand made t-shirt painter -- now stripped of his first amendment right by 15 mutherf*cjkers: TONY B. CONSCIOUS, Y'ALL...(He's even a better freestyler than Zuma Dogg, y'all!)
Free Style At Venice Beach Awsome Freestyle - Watch the best video clips here