Santonio Clause dispenses with the spoils of a patronage Christmas at 200 Spring Street. Picture via the Downtown News.
Blogger's notes: If there is anyone working in the local print media that has taken ownership of "mayoral satire" (ie. lampooning Mayor Villar), then were talking none other than Downtown News Editor and "Scribe of Wit" Jon Regardie. No one has been more audacious in poking the notorious thin-skin of the former City Terrace tough guy turn mayor than Regardie in musings that must meet with consternation on the Third Floor in City Hall. Now with the dawn of the last work day/ floating holiday/ furlough day before Christmas fast approaching, we bring you this excerpt of Regardie's latest, "A Visit to Santonio Clause". And here is wishing Regardie and all in the political bloggersphere a Merry Christmas
Visitor No. 3: A man named Charlie B. wearing a crisp blue uniform with a badge.
Santonio Claus: Ho ho ha ha ha! It's my best friend in the world. Wasn't it great how after two months we played hardball with those pesky occupiers? Don't answer! I'll do it. It was great! Now what would you like from Santonio Claus?
Charlie B.: You always talk about making Los Angeles the safest big city in America-
Santonio Claus: From now on it's the universe!
Charlie B.: OK, the universe. To do that, I need 500 more police officers.
Santonio Claus: Ho ho ha ha ha! No one can do that in this economy. My position in City Hall allows me to dispense gifts, not miracles. Where would I find the money for that?
Charlie B.: That's up to you.
Santonio Claus: Ho ho not so fun. Would you like a golden parachute instead? A silver sword?
Charlie B.: No, I need the 500 officers.
Santonio Claus: Ho ho harrumph. OK, I'll cut the City Attorney's budget again to pay for your officers. I kind of like doing that.
Scott Johnson in CD 14
Labels: jon regardie, L.A. Downtown News, mayor antonio villaraigosa