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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Crime and Punishment in Los Angeles

Today I arrived to my vehicle - parked in a secure garage - to find this:

Unfortunately, the bandits made off with the Mayor Sam Mobile Unit - laptop, web cameras and other assorted remote blogging doo-dads (but not the dreaded BlackBerry).

Digital security cameras and a crack Senior Lead Officer might nab the bandits. And auto and rental insurance may cover some of the damage.

Still I will not vote for or support any of the shady taxes, fees, assessments etc. allegedly for hiring more cops. Let's cut the rest of the budget first and eliminate the nonsense.

Mayor Sam readers, bloggers, politicians and local denizens alike should not worry that the theft of this laptop means the loss of any sensitive Sister City data. The old, dead Republican Mayor makes use of online applications like Google Apps so nothing is saved locally.

I just miss all my doo-dads.

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Anonymous Anonymous said:

Digital security cameras and a crack Senior Lead Officer might nab the bandits.


Are you serious, the LAPD does not do anything about car break-ins. I've had my car window busted a few times in Los Angeles and the cops don't do anything, they don't even want to take a report. I guess this is how Bratton keeps the crime stats lower.

Never keep anything of value in your car, and don't expect to catch the thief and don't expect to recover any lost property, this is life in the big city. The crack-heads need to make some money for the next fix.

March 27, 2008 11:50 AM  

Blogger Valley Doll said:

My Darling Mayor Sam said:

Mayor Sam readers, bloggers, politicians and local denizens alike should not worry that the theft of this laptop means the loss of any sensitive Sister City data. The old, dead Republican Mayor makes use of online applications like Google Apps so nothing is saved locally

All around the city of Los Angeles(especially in City Hall and in Porter Ranch) you can hear the collective sigh of relief ...

Our secrets are safe for another day.

love you Mayor Sam!

Valley Doll

March 27, 2008 11:52 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

You left all that shit in your car??? You move here yesterday?

March 27, 2008 11:56 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Jeez give the guy a break. He just lost some primo gear. Granted it was purdy stoopid..

March 27, 2008 12:16 PM  

Blogger Mayor Sam said:

yes the "photos" of Valley Doll are safely stored on Google's servers.

I'm surprised none of the dum dums said I ate the computer.

March 27, 2008 12:22 PM  

Blogger Jack Hoff said:

...or that I farted it away!

March 27, 2008 12:30 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Question is, did Zuma predict this would happen?

March 27, 2008 12:33 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

Oh dude...sorry to hear about that. Nothing worse. But all that shiz can be replaced. Glad your stuff is offline.

March 27, 2008 12:49 PM  

Anonymous prognosticator dogg said:

Check LA DAILY BUG for stories of the NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS

We reported on 2/29 that Mayor Sam would be burglarized.

Also -


March 27, 2008 12:57 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Mayor Sam that's quite the big hole in your vehicle window.

What happened? Jack Hoff riding back there and he farted?

March 27, 2008 12:58 PM  

Anonymous bonehead dogg said:

LAPD Sucks

March 27, 2008 12:59 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

LOL, dum dum alert at 12:58!

March 27, 2008 1:22 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Same thing happened to my daughter’s car parked near C-sun good bye I-pod she left out in view locks and alarms mean nothing when things are left on display.
May I recommend a cheep drive in drive out auto glass replacement shop in Sun Valley?
Across from Pick A Part was less then half the price of others.

March 27, 2008 1:48 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:



March 27, 2008 1:49 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

First poster is right: the cops don't even take a report if your car is broken into in front of your house while you've left it for a few minutes. You get a lecture on being more careful and not leaving stuff in your car. (Why wasn't that stuff in the trunk, dude?) What do you think this is, Ohio? Even the "nice" areas and private garages are vulnerable -- after all, the crooks go where they're likely to score.

March 27, 2008 2:11 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I can recommend a good bodega in Sun Valley that can help Jack Hoff with his flatulence. Mexicans have lots of experience with farting.

March 27, 2008 2:24 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Shar pei's were farted on alot, and have the face to prove it.

March 27, 2008 2:41 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Next time throw a pair of your briefs over your valuables, this way no one will be interested in whats beneath, nuthead.

March 27, 2008 2:52 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Did they take red spot's crayolas and paper?

What abou his "loarnin by phoonic" software?

March 27, 2008 3:25 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

42,000 more hits until you get to 1.5 million!

March 27, 2008 3:34 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Just use E-mule to get replacment

March 27, 2008 3:37 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

It is a sin to steal. It is also a sin to tempt one's neighbor. Don't leave items in your car that people can see. I'm sorry but in LA you are asking for it if you do that.

p.s. you'll never find your shit.

March 27, 2008 5:01 PM  

Anonymous anthony ralph said:

Chances are the Gangs That Give association has already reformatted your computer and loaded instructional software for some underpriviledged schoolkid in the varrio. They do that quite often. Gangs are good and will continue to redistribute wealth whenever possible. They regret your window was damaged but can recommend the White Fence Glass and Chop Shop.. Remember their motto "When Big Hazard strikes you/ call the White Fence Crew".Se Habla Espanol/ major credit cards accepted and sold..

March 27, 2008 5:33 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

The days of leaving your front door unlocked keys in the ignition and your tools on the job are over in LA sad but true

March 27, 2008 6:28 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

My 22-year-old son left his car parked on Sunset, overnight, unlocked and with his checkbook on the floor of the back seat.

You're almost as dumb, not quite.

March 27, 2008 7:40 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

a lady who smelled like a beer bottle hit me when she pulled out of a bar parking lot. I called LAPD, they came to the scene, and got mad and yelled at ME when I insisted they give her a breathalyzer. They refused to do it, by the way, and my insurance ended up paying because hers had lapsed.

March 27, 2008 7:46 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

The Butler did it

March 27, 2008 9:09 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

My guess is this is a professional thievery as the Mayer stated
It was a secure garage and this only tells me that it was an inside
Job and someone who has knowledge of the doo-dads that where
In the locked vehicle.
Los Angeles has always been a city of brotherly love and respect
For one another and I am regretful that this has happened this ever lasting
Blemish on our population of Los Angeles will always serve as a reminder
That there are a few bad apples in our community.

Signed remorseful

March 27, 2008 9:40 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I know the culprit:

it was the Midget Mechaismo Mexican Mayor, getting his revenge.

Isn't everything bad in LA his fault? If he had been here watching your car instead of chasing tail and shilling for Shillery, he could have prevented this theft.

March 27, 2008 9:53 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Also, you shouldn't have a red car.

March 27, 2008 9:57 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Next time throw a pair of your briefs over your valuables, this way no one will be interested in whats beneath, nuthead.


A brown stained pair work best, I leave my stained chones in my car over in East L.A., and never has any cholo touched my car !!

March 27, 2008 11:17 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I miss Mrs. Yorty!

March 28, 2008 12:35 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

The worst part of all is that all these gated compound owner charge way beyond normal rents where these thugs happen to pretend that they are providing security to the tenants equipments and vehicles.

So you end up paying way beyond what is common out here and end up getting duped.

Guess what the gates of these property needs to be kept open for the prostitution providers to wander freely in and out the property.

What is the local cops doing? Poor cops are busy providing securities to the so called VIP politicians in the suburbs.

Many a times one may end up finding that the property providers are someway related to these aspects out here.

Sad but true the safety of the citizens here is in the dire situation and politicians are busy making claims about their profound knowledge of international business.

Shame! Shame!! Shame!!!

March 28, 2008 12:55 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Aw Mayor Sam, I am so sorry you lost your stuff. I'm sure you feel violated, will have to spend money and replace everything. What a hassle.

I hope it works out in the end.

March 28, 2008 1:37 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Anthony Ralph sounds like a total loser. He has put his worthless none educated butt here to show the world he's a dumb ass. Anyone associated with Big Hazard terrorist gang is a moron. Those idiots have kept the residents in hostage mode for years. They won't even allow the postal carriers inside to deliver mail without their approval. They act like they are in Wacko. Hope that housing project gets demolished fast.

March 28, 2008 6:55 AM  

Anonymous One Who Knows said:

Leave stuff in plain sight; clean up broken glass and replace stuff.

How long have yuo lived in this world??

My daddy used to say "Locks are made to keep honest people honest." Leave yuor door wide open at night and someone will come in looking for something.

So now, Sam, 0ne more adage "Once, shame on them; twice, shame on you."

March 28, 2008 8:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Security and valet parking garages mean NOTHING. I get a police report every 30 days for Century City mall...and there are tons of car break-ins. You aren't safe ANYWHERE!

If it's not nailed down...it will be stolen!

Sorry...better luck next time!

March 28, 2008 11:48 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I've had my car broken into 3 times. The first time I replaced the stereo, the second...I left a gaping hole where the stereo should be, and got a crappy transistor with batteries. The third time, they smashed the back window (parked by City Hall!) and stole nothing, because there was nothing to steal! So, to recap, they broke into a car with no visible enticements just to plunder the glove box. And yes, the LAPD could not care less about car break ins. I learned it's not worth the time even going to the station to report it.

March 28, 2008 3:13 PM  

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