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Monday, September 29, 2008

Ask Haikula Anything

It's a new week, and time for something new: Ask Haikula Anything (A-HA).

I will summon up the wisdom of Endora, Jeannie and Carol Brady to answer the world's tough questions, from the election, Mayor Swindle-raigosa, or the Dodgers' chances of getting past the first round of the playoffs. Or anything else that is within my purview.

But for the Love of Licorice, please ask something new and refreshing, rather than "Do you trust O'bama (sic) the Muslim" or "Do you agree that Palin is a hick."

So post a question, and remember to "Trust Your Haikula."

(I will gather the questions and respond - to the interesting ones - in a new post.)

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Anonymous Anonymous said:

Is your "friend" really your lover?

September 29, 2008 9:55 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Where's Mirthala?

September 29, 2008 9:56 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Why did Jeannie's sister wear blue?

September 29, 2008 9:56 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Haiku: Did Tony Villar fly to Cuba and then try to cover it up?

September 29, 2008 10:06 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What did Tony Villar do with those 80 FAKE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCHES?

September 29, 2008 10:11 AM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

Haiku, two questions:

1) Was the Baroque Period neither Baroque nor a period?

2) Will you marry me?

September 29, 2008 10:20 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Will EAA prevail against SEIU 721's decertificcation effort?

September 29, 2008 10:32 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Is Obama qualified to be President?

September 29, 2008 10:33 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Higby, the answer to your second question depends on Haikula's answer to the question at 9:55. . . Is Haikula's female friend actually Haikula's partner in the Eric Garcetti sense of the word?

September 29, 2008 10:40 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Is it true what they say about Blimmy Jackman?

September 29, 2008 10:44 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Why is Oprah a rasist pig?

September 29, 2008 10:47 AM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

How about will someone buy me a new laptop for my birthday?

September 29, 2008 11:44 AM  

Blogger haikula said:

These are so funny you people!

First of all, I don't believe that I indicated the gender of my blogging podnuh. The Eric Garcetti question is funny, but I guess you don't know that his podnuh is a straight female.

Higs, the Haikula can't marry you, since she is presently involved with someone, although it is not the aforementioned podnuh. Besides you too successful, American Joe.

10:44, what do they say about Blimmy Jackman, other than that his breath is bad?

Keep the questions coming. Me likey and will prepare a response.

Trust your Haikula.

September 29, 2008 12:19 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

My question is who's the angry guy who loses it everytime Sarah Palin is mentioned on this blog?

September 29, 2008 1:10 PM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

Okay Haiku if I can't have you, how about a laptop? (And no not the kind of laptop certain west valley council staffers got at the Frisky Kitty but the kind that has a keyboard and gets Google).

September 29, 2008 1:15 PM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

And I am sorry this may doom me as some sort of fascist (though I am AGAINST Prop 8) but straight men should just not call their girlfriends "partners" no matter how "progressive" it sounds. It's utterly so generic and sanitary to lose all pretense of romance. Even gay people are starting to use "boyfriend" "girlfriend" "husband" "wife"

September 29, 2008 1:17 PM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

Let me make it perfectly clear: this kind of laptop, not the one the CD west valley boys get:


September 29, 2008 1:19 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Mayor Sam Higby hates straight people! You are an anti-heteroic and gender preference-ist.

September 29, 2008 1:22 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


Answer: Todd Palin

September 29, 2008 1:28 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

How should I vote on all those state propositions?

I don't want to read all that and sort through the arguments and facts. I'm in a lazy mood.

September 29, 2008 1:30 PM  

Anonymous disclosure said:

Do you get paid to write for this blog?

September 29, 2008 1:31 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

These questions are more disappointing than the acting career of the guy who played "Chuck" on the first season of "Happy Days."

We can do better!

September 29, 2008 1:40 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Does Alex P. Keaton drink milk shakes?

September 29, 2008 1:42 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

How come Liberals always threaten to leave the country if their guy loses? And how come they never follow through?

September 29, 2008 2:08 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

When is ICE coming to Los Angeles?

SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) - Federal immigration authorities say more than 1,150 people have been arrested in a special three-week sweep in California.
The sweep targeted those who ignored deportation orders or returned to the U.S. illegally after being deported.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokeswoman Virginia Kice said Monday that more than 400 of those arrested were from Los Angeles and several Southern California counties.

ICE teams from San Francisco and San Diego also participated in the sweep, which concluded Saturday.

September 29, 2008 2:15 PM  

Anonymous Captain Jack Sparrow said:

Good afternoon Miss Haiku (kisses hand and gives Haiku LA a dazzling smile):

I have a question for you: Who is the person(s) who received a discipline memo for cooperating with the LA Weekly author and who signed said memo? (Winks) In other words, how many sots does it take to wield an axe, savvy?

September 29, 2008 2:22 PM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

I'm waiting for Sean Penn and Alec Baldwin to move to France like they said they would when Bush won.

September 29, 2008 3:12 PM  

Anonymous One Who Knows said:

Haikula, can I have a laptop, too?

I'm not fussy; I'll take either kind.

September 29, 2008 3:16 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Who the hell is Eddie Wonker?

September 29, 2008 4:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Here's one for Haikula- why would a woman want to be called "partner" by her man?

September 29, 2008 4:05 PM  

Blogger haikula said:

Excellent. Ex-cellent.

As Endora might chant:

Eye of Frog, Toe of Newt
Thoughts on these I'll have to shoot.
Yes, my friends, the day is ripe.
To your questions, tonight I'll type.

September 29, 2008 4:08 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

When is ICE coming to Los Angeles?

Hopefully soon. I haven't seen the ICE CAPADES since Dorothy Hamel skated for them, and by golly, I don't want to miss this latest show.

Please bring ICE to LA. We need the entertainment.

September 29, 2008 4:37 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Uh oh sorry I guess I missed the protocol here: Haikula, when will the Ice Capades come back to LA?

September 29, 2008 4:38 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Can Walter Moore beat Tony Villar?

September 29, 2008 4:59 PM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

I'm first on the list for both a laptop and to be Haiku's new partner when she gets tired of the current one.

Yes, for Haiku, I would call myself a partner though I am certain she prefers to call her partner "her man."

September 29, 2008 5:10 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Has John McCain resumed that campaign that he said he'd suspend until a bailout agreement was reached?

Does this count as another flipflop, campaign rhetoric, lie, or mistake by a goofy old man?

September 29, 2008 6:40 PM  

Anonymous e pluribus unum said:

6:40, "goofy old man:" -- I presume that phrase would qualify Joe Biden as said goof. My reference point is his comment about the Great Depression when FDR addressed the American people on a televised broadcast.

Mister Higby @ 3:12 - I'm still waiting for Cher to leave.

"There once was a woman named Cher
For Republicans she didn't much care.
She actually said (I've reflected),
'I'll leave if Bush is elected!'
But hasn't so far as I'm aware!"

September 29, 2008 9:47 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Is O'Bama part Irish?

September 29, 2008 10:02 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Why hasn't Higby posted a trubute to Paul Newman?

September 29, 2008 11:39 PM  

Anonymous nightwatch said:

I find it odd that our left-leaning Democrat legislators pass laws against smoking, but are curiously silent when confronted with the reality that their Presidential nominee smokes cigarettes.

Your comments, Haikula?

September 30, 2008 5:44 AM  

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