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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Buy Zuma Dogg's Silence

If it's CD14, you know it's fun. The names change but the games stay the same. LA's wackiest Clowncil District continues on providing the same entertainment to the city it always has, back to the days of Richard Alatorre, to Arthur Snyder and perhaps even all the way back to Issac Colton Ash.

The latest fun surrounds accusations against current Councilman Jose Huizar who is seeking re-election, by his former staffer turned election opponent, Alvin Parra. The accusations, made in both a local publication and a flyer that was distributed which include claims that Huizar refused to act on staff recommendations to take action on a convicted child molestor in the District, among other claims of, as Zuma would say, "shadiness and corruption." Central to the view of many in Huizar's District - and claims from anonymous staff members - the Councilman is generally dis-engaged from his constituents and allegedly even went as far to ask his staff that he not meet with consituents other than high level local VIPs.

The information in the flyer and article were apparently so alarming to Huizar's Chief of Staff, Joe Avila, Zuma Dogg claims Avila called him Saturday evening to discuss and rebut the charges.

In the meantime, the usual cutting and pasting and dum dum blogging continued in the comments section of ZD's post and the Doggster went to battle with a good portion of the dum dums.

Then the following comment showed up:
Zuma dog (sic) be very very careful. You are playing in the big leagues and those of us who know when you go against Antonio and his boys they come down very hard on you. You won't see it coming but then all of a sudden BAM!!! They know you don't have a job so it won't surprise me if they try to pay you off to keep quiet. But know that there are some out there waiting for you to slip up. You are treading in dangerous waters. Don't be naive. Listen to the Capt. Everything on this has been said so if I were you I would move away from it.
Since Zuma Dogg doesn't get paid for his role as a citizen watchdog and needs money, we thought we better take up any offer to pay ZD off to be quiet. And this old, dead Republican mayor who spends quite a bit of his precious time blogging with hardly any recompense is looking to share in any funds earned from selling Zuma's silence.

To better facilitate this once in a lifetime transaction, we are now selling Zuma Dogg's silence on Ebay. The auction will only last for the next week (or before Ebay pulls it) but hey this is capitalism at it's finest.


Anonymous Anonymous said:


January 22, 2007 10:03 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Good evening my lord Mayor (removes hat with flourish and makes elegant leg):

While we certainly do not wish the young master any ill fortune, he is, if you will, now in command of his own ship. Fear not, as we have given him an oar and a roll of loo tiss-you in case he should need one or both.

However, we salute you in your brilliance for pimping the Dogg on eBay is an act that only a pirate can truly appreciate. (Frowns) We tried to pimp the bard out for weddings and bar mitzvahs but had no success. Perhaps we should employ your method?

By your leave, my lord Mayor.

January 22, 2007 10:04 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est


January 22, 2007 10:26 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

Cpt. Jack:

Thank goodness for 40's and Prop. 215 chronic: I just put it all together, and my apologies to you and the mayor and the rest of City Hall.


Look who is mad at Zuma Dogg for turning the tide Huizar's way. Here's what I learned today.

Yes, Antonio loves Huizar, but he also loves (or loved) Parra. He wished the two boys could have gotten along. But they didn't. And I don't know what Huizar did to piss off Antonio and my Mayor Sam hero Cpt. Jack (I would never want to come on the wrong side of your issue), then, I remembered another conversation I had with someone I would figure would be a "shoe-in" as a Huizar endorser, and THAT PERSON was neutral, unwilling to endorse either.

So it must be that Mayor Antonio Villagrosa, Cpt. Jack and all the other people pissed off at the Dogg for appearing to be wagging a Pro-Huizar tale, must have been secretly enjoying Parra's slangin'.

Even my usual haters were on the sidelines silent, till the mayor yelled at docwieler mutt to get the f*ck out there and spin ZD on Mayor Sam, you fool!!!

So you know what, I said Cpt. Jack should leave a message on my voice mail listed on my website to better explain the big picture. Cause it appears Huizar is now in the mayoral dogg house, worse way worse than Cardenas, even.

I don't know what you did Jose, and I'll bring you down on something else...but it won't be false allegations of that you claim. (If they are false.)

So all ZD has done, so far, is tell both sides of the story. Alvin emailed today, saying he would provide me with a timeline. But he hasn't done that yet.

Anyway Jack, I admire and respect you, so if I fucked up your program, sorry. If I knew what you knew, maybe I would have chilled on Venice Beach today, instead of being holed up at Starbucks since

Have someone holla at ya boy with the bigger picture and if I am wrong about what I hypothesize in this comment, please let me know. As Billy Joel once said, (Drum beats), You may be right...I may be crazy.

January 22, 2007 10:28 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

HI Captain JACK !!

Your the the best!

I say Trow the Dogg overboard he is a sell out!!

Now he is trying to kiss up your ass.
I say WALK the plank feed him to the sharks!!

January 22, 2007 10:45 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Hey there's a new game in town and it called "Stump The Stupid" and they are the cast and crew of our council member from CD14.

Are we all suppose to be scared by the chief of staff for Jose? Dumb asses. Now this just shows how stupid these boys are.

January 22, 2007 10:50 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

10:45pm says,

"HI Captain JACK !! Your the the best! (ZD) is a sell out!! Now he is trying to kiss up your ass."

You are so un-used to being real, you can only see things from a dark heart. You're kinda missing out in life. Here's where I'm coming from regarding the alleged "kiss ass".

Cpt. Jack is someone who I noticed started recognizing me, a few months back. He prodded me, encouraged me (with his feedback), pointed me in certain directions, and HAS guided me.

So I assumed we are on the same page 99% of the time. So when Cpt. Jack, who I admire and must respect, because I pay attention to what he says, is sending me the signs that I'm f*cking up the gameplan...then a big flag is raised, and I need to start seeing if there is a bigger picutre at hand, that ZD could support, if he knew what it was.

So bottom line, if Cpt. Jack wants me to shut the fuck up, that doesn't mean I'll be able to (right away, if at all), but at least I'm gonna dig even deeper and pay closer attention and try and read between the lines that I am already reading between.

What's up wit' it, dough! CD 14 in the hiz-ouse...East-siiiiiiiiiiiiiiied!

January 22, 2007 11:28 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Does anyone know that new idiot who is running CM Huizar's race.

January 22, 2007 11:42 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Parke dumbass, Parke runs everything in CD14. i bet he has never even steped one foot in CD14.

Thats POWER!

January 23, 2007 12:22 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Goodmorning to the CD14 Cut N Paste crew

January 23, 2007 12:24 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

so whats up with CD7? is Alarcon really in trouble or what? i heard he was gay and truth to that?

January 23, 2007 12:25 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Alarcon is not gay, he has a fine ass daughter

January 23, 2007 12:26 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

doesnt she have a kid too? is the father black?

January 23, 2007 12:26 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Alvin holla at your boy, where you at homie? i realy love your new piece, that shit was scandolis. straightup gangster shit.

i think you had it in you.

January 23, 2007 12:29 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What about those of us who want to give Zuma Dogg money to NOT shut up? What should we do?

January 23, 2007 1:58 AM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

If you want me to not shut up and make it to City Hall for a few more public comments (undignified according to garshemtti), and allow me to sit at Starbucks with another daily t-moble pass to blog on the net, and keep my cell phone on...hit me up with a smaller (less than $50,000 donation) on my pay pal at www.zumadogg.com you don't have to have a pay pal account. sorry to have to reply, but hell yeah, donations i got over the weekend, allowed me to continue today, and so on...

But the main thing is...you made a point with ZD even without the donation. (It's the thought that sort of counts , y;all...)

January 23, 2007 2:08 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Mayor Sam how do you think Alvin got to be on ADD Antonio's campaign and then Jose's??? You think Alvin does anything for FREE or because he has a heart. Zuma you're making Parke Skelton look like a complete idiot and a lot of us are happy about that. He's getting paid a fortune to run Jose's campaign and now that camp needs a "media crisis" team bigger than Isaac Washington who called TR on Grey's Anatomy that bad "gay" word.

January 23, 2007 6:31 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What a total loser Bitter Bernie is!!! He is sooooooo jealous of Bratton he makes a complete ass out of himself. City hall insiders are really pissed at what Bernie did.

"Parks VOLUNTARILY filed a declaration in the lawsuit brought by Lt. Corina Smith against the city, Police Chief William J. Bratton and others. In the suit, which was filed last October, Smith alleged that command officers blocked her promotion to captain in 2004 because of a false rumor and that she faced retaliation when she complained
...Some City Hall observers said Parks' declaration might be perceived as part of his ongoing ill feelings toward Bratton, who took over the department when Parks was denied a second term as chief...."It's hard to separate politics from it," said Jaime Regalado...."The perception may be that this is sour grapes."

January 23, 2007 7:27 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Zuma you're brilliant!

January 23, 2007 7:48 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

If only hat 50K meant we'd NEVER hear from Dogg again....that would more than make it worth it.

January 23, 2007 8:17 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:



Perfect description of what he's all about.

January 23, 2007 8:31 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Does Alvin's embezzlement with NC Funds to Mission Accomplishment count as fraud?

January 23, 2007 9:24 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

No, because he was working for Jose Huizar at the time so if there was any fraud, it is on Jose Huizar's head.

What can be considered fraud is Jose Huizar's scheduling secretary driving around in a city owned car and burning gas at taxpayer expense. No other councilman extends such privileges to thier scheduling secretary. What gives?

January 23, 2007 9:33 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Why is Cardenas in the mayoral dog
house? I have my own ideas, would like to hear yours.

January 23, 2007 9:33 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


Because there is only room for one napaleonic complexed, self centered, egomaniac in this city - and Cardenas isn't him.

January 23, 2007 10:06 AM  

Blogger Ahmed Mohammed said:

Subway to the sea -- $Billions$

Running a city council campaign in CD14 -- $100s of Thousands$ (maybe a couple million if it gets REAL dirty)!

Silence from ZUMA Bitch-slapped --


Where do I bid??

January 23, 2007 10:15 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


Wrong, that was before Huizar hired him.

Guess again, you get three chances.

Parra was sleazy years before Huizy picked up his option!

January 23, 2007 10:16 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


January 23, 2007 10:17 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


The he embezzled funds under Antonio because Nick wouldn't give a shit about Alvin, and yet Huizar still hired him. You reap what you sow!

January 23, 2007 10:20 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


Strike 2 (you're from out of town, aren't you?)

Parra was sitting in the second seat in a third rate neighborhood council trying to stage a coup over the elected president, then. That's when he almost got the NC decertified by the city for violating its own bylaws.

He wasn't employed by ANY councilmember then, he was licking his wounds over having been kicked to the back of the line again by Villaraigosa's people so that AV could pretend to be a CM for 2 years, and run for mayor on the people's salary. AV is who he's really pissed off at, he just can't fuck with him directly, because that's (instant) political suicide in CD14, versus the slow death he's putting himself to now, going against Huizar. Alvin should take a cue from Pacheco and die quickly opposing AV, rather than suffer longer against his endorsed successors.

Not then a city employee, Parra was then pretending to be a businessman, but really living off his wife's salary, and serving as chamber of commerce chair, plus running a shitty little newspaper that went to nobody and was read by no one and was mostly filled up with press releases from govt. offices, and ads from chamber members who paid him that way as support for chamber business.

No use keeping that third guess, I already gave away the answer.

Parra has been in the muck and corruption business so long in CD14, he went and had the skin under his fingernails tattooed black to hide the dirt that wouldn't go away.

Be a man, Homer, tell Villaraigosa what you really think of him, for once so you can be put out of our misery.

January 23, 2007 10:31 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Thanks for the clarification but I reiterate "And yet Huizar still hired him." Huizar brought this upon himself but I guess it is just karma after Huizar fucked Nick. But in Nick's defense, he wasn't a sexual predator enabler and he sure wasn't stupid enough to get caught up in something like this - which is the reason Parke had to make up lies about him and his team.

January 23, 2007 10:49 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Good morning ladies and gentlemen (removes hat and bows low):

(Looks at Zuma Dogg and extends hand for handshake) Zuma lad, it is not that I wish you to remain silent; rather, if you will, observe this battle rather than draw your sword and swashbuckle. Observing is a silent activity, and as silence is golden, what one observes is often worth more than what one speaks to. Put another way for you to truly understand what I am communicating to you...the fly in the soup stands a greater chance of getting squished than the fly upon the wall, savvy? You will notice that there are no pirates in this soup but instead upon the wall, for the next few weeks, until the soup is safe to swim in again.

Anon, Emma has made a good point with her post, and it is indeed true. But what we have here, lad, is a case of merda taurorum animas conturbit which was of course the design from the get-go. And flirting with hobbly bobbly certainly does not help. Indeed, vir sapit qui pauca loquitur, but then again I have never been a man of few words (with the exception of last night).

So put your oral talents to good use within the Clowncil chambers, for now, and when you hear of the Black Pearl being anchored again within the Catorce Quarter, you will know that the time draws near to claim your seat in the bosun's chair.

(Smiles at Zuma Dogg) If you need a translation, Google will be happy to provide them for you. Now if you will excuse me, cum homine de cane debeo congredi on eBay.

January 23, 2007 10:50 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Good morning Mr. Mutt (extends middle finger):

While the cost of seeing Mr. Dogg bitch-slapped may be priceless, I would remind you, sirrah, that you are the only dog out there on a rather short leash at the present time and the hand of your master is a little shaky these days, is it not? If Mr. Dogg is silenced, that leaves YOU as the only dog available for whipping. Ponder that thought for a moment for I don't think there are any others in the kennel who will step up and take the slap for you.

Oh, and Mr. Mutt? You might want to tell your master to curb you when he lets you out as there are laws against dropping and dashing, savvy?

January 23, 2007 11:03 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Ok I've had enough of the bullshit going on between Jose and Alvin. There are far more important issues. Janice Hahn didn't give a shit about gang violence until just a couple of weeks ago when it started happening in her district. NOW she wants US to pay for her stupidity and sitting all year on her ass. Gang violence has been an everyday occurrance in the valley, eastside and South LA. Where was she then talking about its an emergency now?????

January 23, 2007 11:11 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Cardenas demonstrating true leadership? Looks like this cd staffer took this wording from one of Tony's campaign flyers since no one else would ever make this statement.

January 23, 2007 11:13 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

It's quite obvious Mr. Parra hates Villaraigosa. Mr. Parra, if you won the election, do you feel the community will suffer the consequences of your actions?

January 23, 2007 11:17 AM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

ZD hyperventalating unable to spit out the words...Huh...Huh...Huh...

I HATE being a fly on the wall...I can't help myself from diving into the soup, every time...

HOWEVER...I meant what I said about you Jack...so if you say so...I'll try to heed your counsel...

IF a rabid dogg can curb his-self.

We'll see, and maybe someone can reach out and tell me why I gotta be a fly on the wall instead of swimming in the soup.

AND THAT GOOGLE TRANSLATE THING DIDN'T WORK IN ENGLISH, GERMAN, ENGLISH AND SPANISH...But I see it's a common saying....What's up wit it, dough?

January 23, 2007 11:29 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:



January 23, 2007 11:31 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Try Latin.


January 23, 2007 11:33 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


Captain Jack, Zuma, Redheads, and beards.

Great example of the FREE ENTERPRISE SPIRIT by Mayor Sam. The vile smell from that "THIRD FLOOR SUITE" must be even too much for "HIS POLLONESS". The feral mutt is let out of his closet/kennel to take on his nemesis Zuma again. Zuma I concure with the advise from Captain Jack. Keep your distance and watch the doodie fly as these blue bloods duel to the (political) death.



P.S. C...weiler, remember, "LICK, SUCK, AND SWALLOW" like a good "POLLONISTA MUTT".

January 23, 2007 11:33 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Try Latin, you bonehead.

January 23, 2007 11:34 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

ZUMA, i didn't know you made fly video


January 23, 2007 11:35 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Captain Jack Sparrow,

Estus Volvit ut scientia est perception quod perception est scientia.

January 23, 2007 11:41 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Oscar nominations in -- nothing but "techie" nods for the damn overhyped Capt. Jackoff movie.

The days of the "pie-rats" are dead, dead, dead, "technically" and otherwise

Get a job as a rodeo clown, instead, oh yee of the arrested development.

And FTR, SOB, this "mutt" has no master, you master-bait-and-switcher. No leash, no curbs, no curfews. If my fact-based "shit" is too good for you, go work for the county.

January 23, 2007 11:54 AM  

Blogger Walter Moore said:

How nice that Latin is making a come-back! I wish I could remember more of it. Let's see. . . hic, haec, hoc, huius, huius, huius. Or something.

January 23, 2007 11:54 AM  

Blogger Ahmed Mohammed said:

(oops, that last "dashing" dropping at 11:54 was mine)

January 23, 2007 11:56 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

you made me cry.

January 23, 2007 11:57 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Well, well, well. Now we know who the master bait and switcher is and who the master baitor is. Looks like Zuma set you up and the Captain spiked you.

January 23, 2007 12:14 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Because he forgot to log in??


You travel a long way for a whiff of so-called victory.

January 23, 2007 1:47 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Not one dime for ZD's silence. He's pathologically unable to keep his end of that bargain.

January 23, 2007 1:49 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


I'll bet if Kobe forgets to tie one of his shoes, you bet against the Lakers.

January 23, 2007 2:19 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Are you saying you would pay for his silence if he were able to maintain it? I've spoken to him when he's not doing the schtick routine and it's all a big act anyway. But how could you support paying that loser one cent? They overturned the ordinance at Venice Beach I thought? Why isn't he there, instead of wasting his time here?

January 23, 2007 2:20 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Cardenas did do a great job in council today. He gave a good argument why putting tax ballot was being rushed. No we're not his staffers but like to acknowledge when a councilmember does something right and he did.

Hahn's motion to put tax ballot failed today for the May deadline. An ammendment was made to take May out and have Rocky come back with langauge maybe for next year. You can't sneak stuff like this behind the voters back so fast.

January 23, 2007 2:41 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Enough of the Jose/Alvin crap already. There's so many other issues and all of you should start a web site just for CD14.

January 23, 2007 2:42 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Kudos to Cardenas for helping to at least halt this latest tax proposal/scheme for the time being.

January 23, 2007 2:46 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:


Yeah, let's go back to those boring ass threads that garner 5 to 7 posts! Shut the hell up, CD!$ s what is keeping thi blog alive - maybe you should go to another web site.

January 23, 2007 4:04 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Bitter Bernie got BURNED with his stupid volunteer declaration against LAPD for the woman who said she was discriminated. No one asked his sorry ass but he didn't care about our tax dollars. Didn't ADD Antonio tell those losers on council to watch it with the lawsuits and he jumps on board. IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT. He's behaving like a spoiled little brat because he LOST getting reappointed and Bratton is doing a much better job. He needs some serious Dr. Phil therapy.

January 23, 2007 4:13 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Zuma where's your girlfriend Laura Chick N Shit? She should be coming out and saying she's going to audit the gang programs. Why is she hiding?

January 23, 2007 4:17 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

I have a question for Captain Jack Sparrow of this blog.

Are you the fellow who gave me that great book to read with a few interesting book marks that I enjoyed?

I was reading something today and it just hit me. Just wondering.

I hope it's true.

January 23, 2007 5:47 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

oops...not used to posting anonymously. Forgot to click the anonymous button! Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Guess I blew that, and any chance of finding out. my bad. hoody hoo?

January 23, 2007 5:50 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:

nothing scandalous. just one day at the food court by city hall, someone saw me in my ZD attire and told me they see me on TV 35 and keep fighting the good fight and all that, and gave me a book to look at with some bookmarks to check out. And I just had a flash and thought it could be him. I know you don't care...sorry folks...blame prop. 215

January 23, 2007 5:58 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Good god, this has become the "Love Connection". Too bad for you guys Mayor Sam's silly matchmaker or dating sub-blog died a year ago, painfully.

Get a room, with this kissy huggy mutual admiration society shit.

Don't turn your back on the sailors, Zuma Bee-otch, they spend way too much time along at sea.

January 23, 2007 6:27 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

And, ALONE at sea!

January 23, 2007 6:28 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I talked today about 52 states in the USA
50 regular
plus Cuba
plus the state of denial where villaraigosa thinks AB1381 is legal.

January 23, 2007 6:44 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Good evening Zuma Dogg (tips hat):

No, that was some other chap.

January 23, 2007 7:38 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

So the dogg is still trying to Kiss up to the captains Ass!!!!

Zuma once a BITCH always a BITCH!!!

January 23, 2007 7:45 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

when I first heard it was prop R, I thought it was a resolution to extend the blogging life of capt. jack.

January 23, 2007 8:02 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

I concur with Captain Sparrow's 7:38 pm post.

January 24, 2007 12:05 PM  

Blogger Zuma Dogg said:


LOL! Thought I was onto something??? Glad you caught that.

January 24, 2007 1:57 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

semper ubi sub ubi

March 05, 2008 4:10 PM  

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