Your Britney Spears Report

Ashlee Simpson decided to slam Britney. When asked by a British paper if she had too many "Britney Spears," a euphemism for "beer and alcohol," Simpson said she had too many "trashy girls."

Mario Lopez claims that rumors that he and his girlfriend - hottie Marina Smirnoff - broke up are untrue and are Britney's fault. Not sure what his logic is there except for tons of rumors that's he allegedly banged Britney before.

Britney is seeking custody of 17 year old sister Jamie Lynn's unborn child having told reporters that “It’s about family unity and cohesiveness. That’s how I was brought up. I can’t speak for Jamie Lynn; I don’t really know how she was brought up. But I do know that those are my values, and nothing that anyone can say is going to change them.” (Okay just kidding; it's a joke from the Serious Celebrity News Network.)