Whistleblower hotline: (213) 785-6098

Monday, December 21, 2009

Open Letter to City of Los Angeles Employees

** Disclaimer: This is political satire at its truthful best.

Dear City Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the City of Los Angeles has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the City to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the City deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the City.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The City has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of Antonio Villaraigosa (assuming he is in Los Angeles), who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.


The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of DWP electricity, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Your thoughts as I LOL!..........................


Anonymous Anonymous said:

Gee Red Spot, all that effort into what can only be defined as bad taste - even satire has it's limit, just ask that white morning talk show host who joked about nappy haired black women.

I wonder if you anyone who has actually been raped or has AIDS will LOL, as you put it.

December 21, 2009 3:56 PM  

Blogger Michael Higby said:

Oh shut up.

December 21, 2009 4:20 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

This blog is going downhill with its childish humor. This is the type of stuff you heard when you where a teenager and laughed in the back of the Junior High-School homeroom. For an adult this stuff is only funny when you have had some medical marijuana to smoke first. Now I know why Higby supports so many Pot stores in Los Angeles. You have to be stoned find the crap in this blog funny.

December 21, 2009 4:54 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

It has been cleverly adapted to the Los Angeles ERIP. What's the problem? It's funny.

December 21, 2009 8:10 PM  

Anonymous LouieG said:

Ditto, Michael- 3:56, Shutup. I suppose any cootie jokes wouldn't be funny if you ever had cooties either. Or if you ever had B.O., or did anything "stupid." So now we can't make hernia jokes 'cause you had a hernia? What a schmuck.

Actually, 3:56, no one asked you. Maybe the raped and the AIDS afflicted did laugh. Maybe, ironically, they work for the city and not the DWP.

And where in hell did you get the idea that even "satire has it's limits?" Since when? Who made that rule- you?

How about the "screwed?" You didn't defend the "screwed"- now did ya'?

Maybe you've never been screwed, and don't know how it feels.

December 21, 2009 9:23 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Who is the effete anonymous SOB who is so despicable as to judge this blog?
"Going downhill..?"- "Going downhill..?"
You take this seriously, you poor diluted bastard?
It's a goddamn BLOG. Get out more- read a newspaper- watch Keith O. or Bill O'R. Study, damn it!
This is art here- not science. And you, my pompous friend, are apparently neither an artist nor a scientist.
Be still!

December 21, 2009 9:34 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

What will Shallman and Essel say about this? They must be really offended.

December 21, 2009 11:17 PM  

Blogger Kim-SubMeter Maid said:

Michael oh Michael. I just caught up on a weeks worth of blogging and I read your story about Louis Pugliese, which led me to click on Ron's blog to see what he had to say and what do I find? My name in the "who should run for CD 12" written by you.

At least there weren't 10 mean comments about me! Although I guess that's one thing that doesn't bother me.

So I thank you for that vote of confidence, but I've told you before I'm chief of staff material, not elected material. That day could never happen until we have Clean Money. You know I could never lie to anybody. Since I believe candidates make stuff up to please their donors, I doubt they would take well to my blatant honesty.

Thanks again though...

December 21, 2009 11:29 PM  

Blogger Kim-SubMeter Maid said:

Hey, how come the Ass Clown comments are shut down? I don't get to vote this year? Oh well, there were 40 of them! That's too many to choose from...

December 21, 2009 11:58 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said:

Off-color, inappropriate... yeah, all that and a bag of chips, too.

How about just plain hyprocritical, though?

Isn't Red Snot one of the biggest critics of city government, its employees, the bureacracy, waste, etc.

Now, as the belts get tightened and the budgets finally trimmed from years of wanton spending, he's concerned about those same overpriced and unnecessary jobs being cut?

I think he just liked the idea of another cheap shot at Villaraigosa, but of course if you cut your own throat trying to stab your enemy, what good is that?

December 22, 2009 12:14 PM  

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